Is boastful behaviour/showing off always a sign of insecurity/low self-esteem?

[flashbac]

I seem to come across alot of boastful behaviour (either that or I am on high alert for it). Sometimes full on showing off and more often the stealth boast.
I tend to get very annoyed and impatient with people who do this (which is why I'm not on FB) but it helps me to know its often a sign of low self-worth.
But is it? Or are people just more accustomed to boasting because of the society we now live in?

But why does that need to be a "public" declaration? I get praising your children for things if you never received praise but is the praise somehow better if it's on a post as opposed to in person?

This exactly especially when it's quite likely that the child is too young or too cool to even be on something like FB.

But I'm interested why you do posts about it, is it so they see the posts, or so others agree with you, or see that you are acting different to your mum?

@lawnotorder

But I'm interested why you do posts about it, is it so they see the posts, or so others agree with you, or see that you are acting different to your mum?

None of the above, really. I tend more to use my social media as more of a pictorial diary.

My iphone does that

I am insecure as hell, and have rock bottom self esteem. I have nothing to show off or boast about. If I did, would it be a bad thing?

@Bluntness100

If something is good why do you need to tell all and sundry, including strangers, about it? If it's enough you'd enjoy it in private

Well only people who are friends or follow you would see it. I don’t have strangers follow me or be friends with me. I also don’t follow strangers or be friends with them.

I don’t get why they should enjoy it in private? I am very happy to see my friends and acquaintances having fun and what they get up to. I really don’t see it as boastful.

As said I seldom post on social media, generally if I do it’s something about th garden, but I really like seeing the different things my friends get up to.

I think being off social media if it annoys or upsets you is a good thing. For me, it is a positive so I am on it, and happy to see these things.

Lol at the "enjoy it in private" 😂

Surely people who want to enjoy their experiences privately and tell nobody else about happy things in their lives, and also do not want to see what any of their friends are doing that makes them happy, would not have social media accounts?!

Or is it only acceptable to share misery.

[quote Curtaintassels]@Bluntness100 I do, nothing you can say about that to change my mind I am afraid. The person I am thinking of on my social media is constantly telling us how beautiful and clever her daughters are. How hot her husband is. Multiple artful photos of wealth signifiers, it’s just embarrassing.

I have no need to say anything about my dc, I don’t need to post my car, house etc on social media. Because I don’t need validation from other people.[/quote]
So if you find this person so embarrassing and boastful, why are you friends with/ following them?

[quote Curtaintassels]@peaceanddove oh I do but I feel so sorry for those who use their dc as a prop in life and big them up to be something that they are not. Just very ordinary offspring who are doing very ordinary things. And there is nothing wrong with that.

If my dc thought that I judged their worth by social media posts then I have failed as a parent.[/quote]
I suppose we all think our ordinary kids doing ordinary things are extraordinary though don’t we? I’m sure we’ve al had that pfb moment where our child hands is a drawing and we think ‘oh my gosh my child is talented.’ Or at a child’s dance recital/show/nativity play, don’t all parents think their child is the most talented and best on the stage?

It's frowned upon in British culture to be boastful (at least pre-social media).

Other cultures, like America, it's more traditional to big yourself up.

@Curtaintassels

I mean why would you post photos of your car unless you are deeply insecure? I am not jealous, I have an expensive car but I would not post it or imagine that anyone would be interested in my car.

I guess if somebody has always wanted a certain car, never been able to afford it, worked really hard and finally got it then they may be really proud and happy about it? Just off the top of my head. Different people find joy in different things. Social media is meant to be for sharing experiences. Is your objection that somebody else is interested in things that you aren't interested in? If so probably best to join interest-specific sites rather than general social media where there will of course be a range of posts on different topics. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If people find the way certain people post on SM annoying why not just unfollow them? I find the perception of people bragging an interesting one. As already discussed a great deal of this is how something is perceived. Ultimately we can only really control what we think and not what others think. If a behaviour is causing such grief distance and unfollow. I personally try not to be fussed by what people have or do. Can't be bothered and ultimately not that interested. If people also mind their business with regards to what I have or do that suits me perfectly too. As such I have no FB/Instagram/Twitter/tic tock.

The more the thread has progressed the more unfathomable I've found it. The issue definitely seems to lie in certain people perceiving others being open about being happy as a personal insult to them because they are not - and that any source of happiness should be a shameful secret not to be mentioned - rather than about people posting things that are deliberately unkind to specific people who might read it. It's baffling that anybody follows anyone who they harbour such resentment towards.

Or at a child’s dance recital/show/nativity play, don’t all parents think their child is the most talented and best on the stage?

My eldest is well into primary school now. I'm gobsmacked I've still not been pulled outside to be told he's a genius!

Is the thread only about boasting & bragging on SM or in general. I assumed it was a general thing.

@ThousandsOfTulips

The more the thread has progressed the more unfathomable I've found it. The issue definitely seems to lie in certain people perceiving others being open about being happy as a personal insult to them because they are not - and that any source of happiness should be a shameful secret not to be mentioned - rather than about people posting things that are deliberately unkind to specific people who might read it. It's baffling that anybody follows anyone who they harbour such resentment towards.

This 100%. It's absolutely baffling and definitely very, very unhealthy.

Or at a child’s dance recital/show/nativity play, don’t all parents think their child is the most talented and best on the stage?

DD is tone deaf and shy as fuck. Hates public speaking. So no I never thought that. She is the best in other areas though. Oh ,sorry what that too braggy?

@lawnotorder

Is the thread only about boasting & bragging on SM or in general. I assumed it was a general thing.

It's irrelevant really as long as boasting/bragging has different meanings to different people.

To some people it means anyone saying anything good about themselves/their lives.

To some it means anything they perceive as fake ,especially if they can sneer about how shit other people's lives really are.

To some is anyone having it better than them, however that better is perceived . We have a saying in my country "let the neighbour's goat die too".

To some it's anything that goes against their own belief system,habits,mentality etc and it covers "negative" bragging too.

To some it will be the literal and actual meaning, and not coincidentally , they'll be the ones that encounter the least boasters.

Plus no-one ever actually admits they brag of boast 😆

People boast because they’re annoying arseholes.

@ldontWanna

What I don’t like is the serial boasting bore who seems to have some warped view of her dc/Dh/house/car and thinks that anyone who doesn’t want the weekly updates is ‘jealous’.

Why would you have the bore as a friend or on your FB feed then?

That's what I don't get. All these artificial relationships for the sake of what? You obviously don't like the bore, she bores you, you have different values and you're judging her/her relationships. So why?

This in spades ^

@lawnotorder

Plus no-one ever actually admits they brag of boast 😆

Oh I definitely brag. If i get that bursting with pride/happiness feeling someone will know about it .. It just doesn't happen very often on SM , mostly close friends,my mum, OH.

@Curtaintassels

I mean is anyone here going to admit to posting photos of a car? I would love to know why you do it. It’s not the achievement of a child. It’s an embarrassing attempt to show off.

I had a friend who did this recently. But they are very much look at me/what I’ve purchased types, so to me that screams bragging and showing off.

@lawnotorder

Or at a child’s dance recital/show/nativity play, don’t all parents think their child is the most talented and best on the stage?

My eldest is well into primary school now. I'm gobsmacked I've still not been pulled outside to be told he's a genius!

Aren’t we all! I was politely perplexed through my son’s baby and toddler years that not one person stopped me and asked for him to sign up to their baby modelling agency.

Looking back at photos I can kind of see why. Although now that his hair grows all over his head rather than a better call Saul combover he is definitely the most handsome year old I know. Definitely not parental bias…

@Curtaintassels

As I’ve said I don’t actually have social media so obviously have nowhere to share car pictures short of posting them through the neighbour’s letterbox. However, when I got my first car I did have DH take my photo with it outside! Bit embarrassing I suppose but I would say it is an achievement, or it was for me. I also told everyone (mil, colleagues, friends) that I had passed my test and was excited to have a car and how happy I was.

Although I wouldn’t say I was showing off as it was a very small, very cheap car. So not exactly lying on a Bentley unfortunately. I still love it though 😂