Is boastful behaviour/showing off always a sign of insecurity/low self-esteem?

[flashbac]

I seem to come across alot of boastful behaviour (either that or I am on high alert for it). Sometimes full on showing off and more often the stealth boast.
I tend to get very annoyed and impatient with people who do this (which is why I'm not on FB) but it helps me to know its often a sign of low self-worth.
But is it? Or are people just more accustomed to boasting because of the society we now live in?

What I mean is, what both the person posting and reading the comment perceive to be "boastful" is determined by a whole load of factors including the person's cultural references like national culture, current circumstances, current mental health. I like to think that - aside from a few boring arseholes - most people wouldn't deliberately make other people feel bad. So mostly I think a perception of boasting probably just arises from a mismatch between the poster and the person reading it on some or all of the other factors.

Not always. I know boastful people who are very confident, but also new to having things to boast about. Others boast because they choose to pretend to be very happy with their situation.

It’s not as simple as “low self esteem”. Look at in evolutionary terms. Humans are social animals. Bragging and boasting is a way for us to show or declare our ”status” to other members of our group/tribe. “Showing off” our status will hopefully provide us with greater respect, security, economic benefits etc.

@HelplesslyHoping

Not always. I know boastful people who are very confident, but also new to having things to boast about. Others boast because they choose to pretend to be very happy with their situation.

Oh god yeah I've got a friend who has an absolute dick head for a dh and is quite unhappy ...but from her social media she paints the most ideal life 😞 it's a shame

It's always cringe and it's part of why I'm rately on facebook, because I find myself doing it too and I cringe at myself!
My friend boasts a lot about her little girls achievements and it comes across badly, but she has an older autistic non verbal son so can see why she does it. There is usually an explanation but it's still cringe.

No, often it's an over-inflated ego -people who think others are more interested in their lives/family etc. than they actually are.

I get tired of boasting and stealth boasting especially on FB. It could very much be low self esteem and definitely insecurity and IMO I think more and more people are seeking validation and attention and are definitely more self absorbed these days. To me it reads quite the opposite of what they are hoping to achieve by being boastful/bragging.

It’s ok to be proud…there is a difference between proud and purposely bragging…and share with close family and friends. I also don’t know what happened to modesty but certainly seems non existent these days…

@DietrichandDiMaggio

No, often it's an over-inflated ego -people who think others are more interested in their lives/family etc. than they actually are.

Agreed. No one gives a fuck.

Meh, i don’t really judge to be honest, and I think people are allowed to take pride in things they are doing or achieving. I meet very few truly boastful people

My concern is you’re not happy with your life and are envious of things people have and do.

@ThousandsOfTulips

What I mean is, what both the person posting and reading the comment perceive to be "boastful" is determined by a whole load of factors including the person's cultural references like national culture, current circumstances, current mental health. I like to think that - aside from a few boring arseholes - most people wouldn't deliberately make other people feel bad. So mostly I think a perception of boasting probably just arises from a mismatch between the poster and the person reading it on some or all of the other factors.

This. This is very well put.

I never view the things the op states as boastful as boastful but I’m not envious. I post very few images of my life on social media, but have many Facebook friends and follow many on Instagram, I usually jist think oh that looks lovely or she looks like she’s having fun. I don’t think I’ve ever reacted and thought how boastful.

So I agree it’s how the reader takes it.

I think the main take from all this is to never, ever post anything on Facebook or any other social media about your achievements / possessions / happy event etc 😂

I think people are allowed to be proud of themselves or their achievements and it's a shame that it's so looked down upon here in Britain. Compared to other countries it makes us all seem quite negative. I've even felt weird 'showing off' on my CV because it feels boastful.

Just ignore it!

@ILoveHuskies

I think the main take from all this is to never, ever post anything on Facebook or any other social media about your achievements / possessions / happy event etc 😂

My main take from it is that people shouldn't be so oversensitive and judgemental, and should have enough self-awareness that if they are offended by someone else being happy then they need to examine the reasons for that reaction.

Not all the time. My brother very seldom boasts but when his daughter got 12a* at gcse, he couldn't contain himself. It was funny to watch because he does it so seldom.

Sometimes people are just genuinely & justifiably excited. I wouldn't begrudge him his day of pride. That would have been insecure of me.

@flashbac

I seem to come across alot of boastful behaviour (either that or I am on high alert for it). Sometimes full on showing off and more often the stealth boast. I tend to get very annoyed and impatient with people who do this (which is why I'm not on FB) but it helps me to know its often a sign of low self-worth. But is it? Or are people just more accustomed to boasting because of the society we now live in?

Boasting or showing off often does yes, but a lot of what gets labelled as boasting or showing off is not, that is just the perception of the envious/hatred crowd.

@MintJulia

Not all the time. My brother very seldom boasts but when his daughter got 12a* at gcse, he couldn't contain himself. It was funny to watch because he does it so seldom.

Sometimes people are just genuinely & justifiably excited. I wouldn't begrudge him his day of pride. That would have been insecure of me.

Good on him for being proud of his daughter for doing well, it would be a better place if all parents were like that.

@Furzebush are you Irish or Scottish?

My parents highly disapprove of "boasting", they have never had graduation or wedding photos (or even family portraits) on display for instance, or framed degree certificates etc. They think that would be showing off!

This. This is very well put.

I never view the things the op states as boastful as boastful but I’m not envious. I post very few images of my life on social media, but have many Facebook friends and follow many on Instagram, I usually jist think oh that looks lovely or she looks like she’s having fun. I don’t think I’ve ever reacted and thought how boastful.

So I agree it’s how the reader takes it.

Same @Bluntness100. I find it a bit baffling that people could be offended by people they like being happy. I like to see it and it makes me happy. I wonder if many people are following/ "friends" with people they don't actually like? Which is also very weird!

Yes I defintely think it’s about the readers take. An example being today someone posted images of a very posh lunch they are at, someone else posted images of their birthday dinner last night. Someone else posted some holiday photos.

I didn’t see any of it as boasting. But I suspect th op would. She’d be annoyed. I am not, I think oh that’s lovely and I’m interested in their lives.

Which does lead me to think if it annoys you or upsets you it will often be more about you and your dissatisfaction with your own life.

@ThousandsOfTulips I agree with you and others who've said similar - I was being sarcastic

@ThousandsOfTulips

Also totally agree with this I find it a bit baffling that people could be offended by people they like being happy. I like to see it and it makes me happy. I wonder if many people are following/ "friends" with people they don't actually like? Which is also very weird!

I will never understand why some people have fb friends or follow people on Instagram who they dislike.
Definitely very odd behaviour

I do think a lot of boastful people don’t realise they’re being boastful or that it’s coming across that way. I have a friend who can be very ‘elevenerife’ but only in relation to her kids. If I say my child passed her ballet exam, her child is the latest child star of dance a la Jojo Siwa. If my son wins a football match hers could have played for Man U. If my child got the Covid vaccine hers cured Covid independently with their chemistry kit. So on and so forth.

Mutual friends find it annoying but I’ve known her a long time and know she (like me) had a difficult childhood. I think it’s her way of reassuring herself that her kids are having a good life - which they are anyway! So I just nod along and smile to myself. I think she’d be mortified if I told her it comes off as boastful and other people can see it as unpleasant because she is generally a nice person.

On social média it’s a whole other story - everyone’s living their best life. I think if it’s not your thing there’s no harm in coming off social media.

Although if you don’t want to know a girl you used to go to school with is having dinner in Dubai probably best unfollow her anyway. That doesn’t sound like boasting, that’s just posting on social media. It would be a bit weird if she never posted anything!

Sometimes it’s people being ‘under confident other times you just have to accept that they are pricks’

Noone is allowed to be proud. Tall poppy syndrome.