... if you've every learned something totally surprising about a close friend?

[BSideLeeSide]

This is no biggie, just something very surprising for me.

I've a very close friend that I'd known for 10+ years, we met through work several years ago. A few weeks ago I was helping her move/unpack to a lovely new house, and staying there for the weekend.

The house had a piano. I was amazed to discover that she is an incredible pianist. Really really amazing! She says she was somewhat of a prodigy when young, but lost interest and motivation in teen years, and is just re-connecting with it as a hobby.

Sadly, if I was that good at something I'd have let everyone know :(

@DorisFlies I'm really hoping this was a casual school gates conversation at 3.05pm with the mic drop moment being punctuated by hordes of screaming kids flooding out of school

@Whadda

I was with my husband for about 15 years when I learned that he speaks fluent Russian, and also Latin.

Your husband might be a spy 🕵️‍♀️

It was definitely jaw on the floor time and just so many questions spring to mind!!

@Santaischeckinglists Encased in plastic? I need to know more!

[quote harriethoyle]@DorisFlies I'm really hoping this was a casual school gates conversation at 3.05pm with the mic drop moment being punctuated by hordes of screaming kids flooding out of school [/quote]
Or maybe pick up at Beavers...

At a bbq my friends 75 year old dad grabbed my ass. I went 'wah!' and scuttled away. I told my friend that he might have had a bit too much beer and Sun and that he'd touched my bum. Im not assertive at all and was a bit awkward and tried to kind of laugh it off. My friend said 'wouldn't surprise me', deadpan. I didn't realise her husband had seen and he went absolutely ballistic, saying he was going to call the police. After my friend calmed down and the dad had gone home she told me her dad repeatedly molested and raped her when she was young and her husband obviously despises him. I've seen the dad since and I get really, really anxious. Friend also has three daughters, eldest 14, youngest 6, and she allows him to watch them while she goes to the shop

I knew someone for several years through a club - he didn't always go to meet-ups because he was working. Quiet, unassuming sort of chap. One evening, we were all talking about work and someone asked him what he did. In a very non-committal and slightly evasive way he mentioned it was a fairly physical job. What, exactly, we asked. Turns out he was a stuntman. Nothing too taxing, then. He wouldn't be drawn any further. Got home, looked him up.

Minniejackson, in all seriousness, if this is true, it's something that needs reporting to social services! Your friend clearly and understandably has very warped boundaries regarding her father. I don't understand why her husband would allow him to look after his daughters...

@MinnieJackson wtf? That entire scenario is mad. If her husband is so offended that he grabbed your ass, how can he allow the dad any contact with his children? Why isn’t he locked up? Why does she have a relationship with him? Mind blown.

I honestly have no idea how she can bear to be in the same room as him, let alone leave him with her daughters. Social services are already involved, thank god. Completely toxic family set up really. We've had to distance ourselves to be honest. The last time I saw her husband was about three months ago, when he knocked on our door, pissed at ten o'clock on a weeknight with blood pouring from his head as she'd attacked him. I told him and her that truthfully, their behaviour was frightening and that I can't have pissed up people, dripping blood everywhere in my house with my three children asleep and that no, he was not staying at my house because she refused to let him back in. I also said if it were the roles reversed I would have called the police and if I was ever put in that position again I would, which would result in her children being taken away as they'd already been called to their house multiple times. Three days ago she randomly messaged me asking if he was here. No,.obviously not. He'd stormed out after pushing her over and she hadnt seen him for two days. don't worry though, they've made up now.

She never reported her dad to the police. But she moved out when she as 15 into a bedsit, with now said husband who is 11 years older. He'd get up for work while she'd be getting dressed for school. Both extremely damaged people

@wizzywig

Well...

I won't give many details for obvious reasons. He's something of an over-sharer with quite a self-deprecating sense of humour so I didn't think much of it when he first said how fond she is of me and then began joking each time I saw him about how she likes me more than him. Eventually he gave up dropping (what now are obvious) hints and straight up told me she wants me to shag her.

I may have occasionally flirted outrageously with done nothing to discourage her, but even so I was a little bit floored.

@MinnieJackson wow. I absolutely couldn’t be friends with her. That is horrible.

After a friend died, I found out her FIL’s name for the first time. It’s a very unusual name. Out of curiosity, I googled it and found out he’s worth over $1 billion (not British). I knew my friend and her DH were well off, but she was a very modest and unassuming person. No flashy car or exotic holidays - they didn’t even live in a big house. It obviously wasn’t important to who she was as a person.

@YouJustFoldItIn

Found out my BFF voted Tory. We still speak though.

A lovely person in spite of it then? Who'd have thought it possible?!

Want to know how to spot a Labour voter? Wait ten minutes and they'll tell you what utter scum all Tories are. if you don't know how someone votes because they haven't mentioned it, then it's a safe bet that they are probably a Tory.

Just quietly going about their business of doing what they think is best/right, without haranguing everyone else for thinking differently.

Labour voters should try it. They might win a bit more often if they could just grasp the concept of not alienating people by insulting them.

Love this ❤️

I do worry slightly about what horrors I might find when clearing out my dads house when he dies. We’re not close and he has no other family so I assume it will fall to me. I have nightmares about finding a huge porn stash or similar 😂

I also have a friend I’ve known for years who I thought was very straight laced. She casually dropped in conversation a while ago that her and her partner like to visit sex clubs and engage in activities with other couples. I just can’t picture it as she’s the last person I’d expect to be doing that!

I have a friend of over 20 years who had one brother who I have met, I also know his parents reasonably well. I discovered last year that he has another brother! I've never even heard his name! He lives nearby, and I have no idea why he's never come up in conversation in almost 20 years.

@derenstar That is heartbreaking , so sad

It's an anonymous forum....

@RainforestLizard

It's an anonymous forum....

Huh?

@Whydidimarryhim

Whadda is he a spy!!! 😁

If he is, he’s a pretty shit one. The amount of times he can’t find something that is literally right in front of his eyes.

I wish I had a positive one but I'll never forget the shock of finding out that my "work bestie" was racist. Or, in the absolutely best case scenario, incredibly ignorant and in need of serious educating.

We worked together for three years, got on like a house on fire from the get go despite our age difference (I was in my mid to late 20s, she was in her early to mid 60s) and we grew really close. We spoke about really personal things and we knew a lot of heavy things about the other - I considered her a friend.

Then one day she made an off-hand comment about her neighbour that made my jaw drop. I couldn't look at her the same way after that, then I took an internal job move (unrelated to the incident but not unwelcome timing) so we lost contact.

I was given a pen pal from the US when I was at secondary school when I was 11-12 years old who I still keep in touch with regularly. I must have known her over 25 years and in that time we’ve become pretty close friends.
When she wrote in one of her letters that she had voted for Donald Trump & attended a number of rallies to support him, I genuinely felt like I didn’t know her at all . This truly rocked me to the core.

@WinterFirTree
I have a friend who has a dc who is late teens
Friend was married before and dc doesn't know
She doesn't see a problem in keeping it a secret but I think if I was the dc and it was one of my parents id be pretty upset they kept it from me . No other dcs involved or anything. Id just be upset they didn't feel they could tell me. I think it will come out by accident one day which will make it worse.

@CloseThePackWithAClickClack I'm not now but i do worry for her kids so much. They are going to be damaged adults. The middle girl isn't the husband's, she's going to be told on her 16th birthday that he's not her dad. I never her to not d that, start telling her now etc when she was about five. Nope, that's gonna be a great birthday

Our husband's grew up together, then they moved to our town and she sort of latched on to me. We have nothing in common apart from kids in the same school.