... if you've every learned something totally surprising about a close friend?

[BSideLeeSide]

This is no biggie, just something very surprising for me.

I've a very close friend that I'd known for 10+ years, we met through work several years ago. A few weeks ago I was helping her move/unpack to a lovely new house, and staying there for the weekend.

The house had a piano. I was amazed to discover that she is an incredible pianist. Really really amazing! She says she was somewhat of a prodigy when young, but lost interest and motivation in teen years, and is just re-connecting with it as a hobby.

Sadly, if I was that good at something I'd have let everyone know :(

I met a friend through having DC at the same school and we saw each other pretty regularly without the kids, so a friendship that grew outside of the school/kids context. We were chatting about her moving house and she revealed that not only did her and her DH own their house outright (in their early 30's) but they received a monthly income from his parents that exceeded our household income from 2 full time jobs. Turns out his parents are self-made millionaires!

I begged her not to*

This was about me, and even I didn't know! When I was about 15/16 I was peeling an apple or something and my Mother said Why are you using your left hand? We realised that I always peel, butter, slice using my left hand even though I write, play tennis etc right-handed. I've subsequently learned that my left hand is dominent, I pick things up, reach for things with my left hand. I can actually use an iron in either hand, about the only activity where I can do that and now I hardly need to.

Not my close friend, but my DBro's friend found out that his 'sister' was his mother. They told him on his 18th birthday. We live in a small town and when DBro told us my mum gave a us very 'knowing' look. I guess it was one of those small town things things that 'everyone knows but no one speaks of'.

@CokeZeroAddiction

I'm adopted and my bio-mother was also married but her husband was 'on the farm' (USA '50s thing) for a minor drug offense. I had always thought that my mum gave me up voluntarily, it never occurred to me that she may have done so under duress from her husband. I do know that that my bio-mum was extremely upset and tearful at the hearing when she had to physically hand me over to my parents when I was around 2 weeks old. And I know that her husband was out of jail at least by the time my adoption was finalized 9 months later. But I don't know how much 'say' he may have had in my adoption. The only thing my mum ever said about him when I asked her if the husband knew about me was "I don't know".

You have given me a great deal to think about.

Went on a weekend away to Madrid with a friend...we'd met in our thirties and known each other a few years. Got there and we had to get a bus from the airport...headed to the bus counter and she launched into fluent Spanish. I just stood there with my mouth open. Turned out she spoke Italian too!

Also I used to work with an older chap, in a boring office job (in the UK). He once started an anecdote with 'when I was an ice cream seller in Chicago in the summer of 1976....'. I was amazed.

The family had a farewell party for the aunt and uncle. He left a regular middle aged wrinkled man and returned like he had been ironed out... And his cheeks were definitely more pronounced!! And his lips like he had been stung by 1000 bees!!

@MinnieJackson if you know that your friend is leaving her daughters in the carecof a paedophile you have a moral obligation and legal obligation to to let SS and police know. Can't believe your friend and her husband are complicit in this and as you know about it you are too.

@HappyDays40 oh god. Yes, you're correct. Social services are already involved. I did ask my friend about leaving her children with her dad, and she believes he would never hurt them and it's only her that he would hurt. I will inform the school safeguarding lead.

Obviously she's been conditioned to believe this, as many victims are.

I made a friend (male) and saw him a few times - I wouldn’t say we were close but when he told me he actually had been in prison for murdering his mother and changed his name

@MinnieJackson you did the right thing thank you. Some people don't report through fear of ruining the friendship. Good on you for putting the kids first

@AcrossthePond55 that made me well up.

@CokeZeroAddiction

When the internet was fairly new I googled our family surname (a very rare and unusual name) and tried it with misspellings too just to see what would come up. Up came a misspelling of my great grandmother on a ‘searching for my birth mother’ message board.

One private investigator later, we found my great grandmother had gotten pregnant by another man when her husband was off at war (she already had 2 children) and when he returned and found out, he made her give him up for adoption.

She had died a few years previously sadly and nobody ever knew except her best friend who was sworn to secrecy. My grandad had also died by then but his sister was (and is) still very much alive and now they have a wonderful relationship.

It was just absolutely astounding that we never knew she had another child. She used to holiday frequently in the place where he was born, I can’t imagine the pain she must have gone through her entire life not keeping him. I think he was around 6 months old when she was forced to have him adopted.

Very similar to a story on Long Lost Family recently...

When my sister got pregnant at 23, she was nervous of telling my Nana as she was going to be a single Mum and she thought she might get judged. Instead, my Mum told us that my Nana and Grandad had to get married as our Aunty was on the way! Not that uncommon of course, but a surprise to us. They were married for over 50 years before my Grandad died so it all worked out beautifully

My DH had a friend from school; they were super close. When friend finally got a GF he couldn't wait to introduce her to us.
She was lovely, training to be a teacher. Very straight, strict parents. She didn't drink or go out really. She was very Catholic and felt guilty indulging in simple pleasures.
10 years later; we're all married. DH and I have 2 DC; they are godparents and adore our boys. We spend as much time together as possible. She is best friend and we tell eachother everything - deepest darkest secrets and feelings.
Then one day I discovered she was having an affair with another bloke. For over a year. I had no idea. Not one inkling that she had been unfaithful. They split when he found out and I lost my BF. Shocking; just couldn't believe it.

Strange that - I had a friend who did exactly the same, got married and then came home. It just fizzled out.!

Mine isn’t so light hearted. Found out 2 years ago that my best friend of 20 years was addicted to Crystal meth. The last person I would imagine to do something so stupid. I tried to be there for him but it has changed him so much. Our friendship is quite strained. Love him to bits but he’s not the guy he used to be.

@YouJustFoldItIn

Found out my BFF voted Tory. We still speak though.

A lovely person in spite of it then? Who'd have thought it possible?!

Want to know how to spot a Labour voter? Wait ten minutes and they'll tell you what utter scum all Tories are. if you don't know how someone votes because they haven't mentioned it, then it's a safe bet that they are probably a Tory.

Just quietly going about their business of doing what they think is best/right, without haranguing everyone else for thinking differently.

Labour voters should try it. They might win a bit more often if they could just grasp the concept of not alienating people by insulting them.

How do LibDems behave?

[quote CloseThePackWithAClickClack]@AcrossthePond55 that made me well up.[/quote]
Sorry. I'm OK. Had a good talk with DH and he made me realize that whether she gave me up completely voluntarily or if she was forced into it by her husband it was still the right thing to do. What would my life have been like living with a step-father who resented my presence as a constant reminder of his wife's infidelity? Especially back in the '50s!

My 'real' parents, the ones who raised me, were absolutely wonderful. Loving, kind, and strict 'when needed'. And my extended family on both sides never treated us (my brother is adopted too) any differently than any other family members. If I could have picked my parents myself, I would have chosen them. I was (and am) a very lucky girl/woman to have had them choose me.

"All's well that ends well"

Close friend got an MBE a few years ago and never mentioned it. Found out when dad decided she wanted to see if we could Google people we knew, friend has quite a distinctive name and a high profile job so I thought we might get a photo of her, we got various publications citing the mbe nomination!

My husband's aunt and uncle are quite well off and very religious. They are a good laugh and we have a lot of time for them but they have lived life a certain way for a long time and so quite unrelatable.

It recently came out in conversation that they completely disagree with organ donation and that they had attempted to get my FIL to refuse on behalf of their mutual parents as their power of attorney (as if they would be prime candidates at 90 years old). I think its something to do with when they are resurrected their body will be whole again so they need to keep their organs...therefore they don't disagree with accepting organs, they just won't give theirs away. Also something about the body being a temple so if they donated a kidney and then the recipient didn't adhere to the Christian principles like them it would be dishonouring the organ and therefore their body.

I grew up amongst the same beliefs as them and have tried to see their point of view but I literally cannot look at them the same way. He had a coronary bypass a few years back and I sometimes wonder what he would have done if he had required a transplant.

Dd, not dad, wish me had an edit!

I've been married for over 30 years and I recently heard my DH play Hotel California on the guitar, perfectly. I had NO IDEA that he could play guitar or any instrument at all.

Youjustfolditin: maybe Tory voters keep quiet about it because they're embarrassed to have elected the inadequate, lying and corrupt tossers to government...I know I would be.

My ex-Friend. I doted on her DD daughter. She asked me to be god parent. I agreed and waited and waited for the christening.
About 3 years my friend had an argument with her sister and was crying that her sister wasn’t speak to her and didn’t send her DD a bday present, especially as she is god mother!
I was like- what?! Wait?!! DD isn’t christened??

Turns out she had the christening and never invited me. Sadly our friendship was over as she thought I was overreacting for being upset