... if you've every learned something totally surprising about a close friend?

[BSideLeeSide]

This is no biggie, just something very surprising for me.

I've a very close friend that I'd known for 10+ years, we met through work several years ago. A few weeks ago I was helping her move/unpack to a lovely new house, and staying there for the weekend.

The house had a piano. I was amazed to discover that she is an incredible pianist. Really really amazing! She says she was somewhat of a prodigy when young, but lost interest and motivation in teen years, and is just re-connecting with it as a hobby.

Sadly, if I was that good at something I'd have let everyone know :(

Another big shocker: I became best mates with a plain-looking, plump, middle-aged "mumsy" type of woman who I worked with. She was still single and had a very low opinion of most men.

After being pals for ages, at work and out of work, one day she dropped casually into the conversation that from ages 18 to 28 she'd been a prostitute. I was utterly gobsmacked. She used to put cards in telephone boxes then meet her clients in her flat. As if that wasn't enough, she'd stood trial at the Old Bailey for attempted murder after shooting a man who was insisting she accept him as her pimp!

One last one: my Mum had 5 kids by her first husband, all of whom have been close all their lives, meeting up regularly, holidays together, some have even lived together as adults. In their 60s and 70s they got deeply involved in genealogy and researched their mum and dad's ancestors. Drawing up the tree and finding out that their grandparents were Russian Jews brought them even closer together.

Ancestry started offering DNA tests and all five took the test.

Turns out 3 of the 5 of them are not related to the man they called 'Dad'.

It came as the most awful shock to discover that Mum must have had sex with (at least) three other men whilst she was a young wife and mother (the first kid was by her husband).

The siblings all look sufficiently alike for nobody to have suspected a thing for all these decades.

And it was also a shock to realise that Mum kept this a secret for her whole life, and went to her grave not suspecting that one day her children would find out.

@DukeofEarlGrey

I’d known my good friend for 5+ years when he happened to mentioned that he’s a twin. He’d never mentioned it before in all that time and for some reason it really took me by surprise. He somehow doesn’t seem like a twin and even I’m not sure what I mean by that!

Same here! A lovely man I knew for years via a community group thing, not great friends but good casual ones.

I saw him at the shops and called out "Hi Peter!" and he winked at me and said 'Wrong one!'.

I didn't he had an identical twin, blew my tiny little mind lol

Following

This has been one of the best threads I've read on here 😄

I am related to a famous pop star from the 80s and have never told anyone since school.

For the record- I cannot sing at all 🤣

Yes , one of whom I thought was a good friend in Spain , totally a remainer turnes out to be a racist , couldn't speakmtje lingo & never mixes with the Spanish as I do .Also discovered that te sister of my ex wife, who had a lovely American husband in Pennssylvania already 2 kids by different fathers was shagging every man she could ,even her cousin , the finally got divorced at his expense & she walked off with $ 5 million . She contolled my wife & returning home one day after work I secretly heard hervsay for Christ'ssake -- take him for every penny you can , which she did of course I left hrr the house in exchange for my mums inheritance , & With that bought my tiny casita here near Alcoy & have a Spanish only Speaking lady friend , past the menopause, & she's so strong & helps me a lot, we'recsettledvhere now & enjoying the Lovely cheap friendly Spanish lifestyle .Hope this has not been too boring .

@Sisad

Yes , one of whom I thought was a good friend in Spain , totally a remainer turnes out to be a racist , couldn't speakmtje lingo & never mixes with the Spanish as I do .Also discovered that te sister of my ex wife, who had a lovely American husband in Pennssylvania already 2 kids by different fathers was shagging every man she could ,even her cousin , the finally got divorced at his expense & she walked off with $ 5 million . She contolled my wife & returning home one day after work I secretly heard hervsay for Christ'ssake -- take him for every penny you can , which she did of course I left hrr the house in exchange for my mums inheritance , & With that bought my tiny casita here near Alcoy & have a Spanish only Speaking lady friend , past the menopause, & she's so strong & helps me a lot, we'recsettledvhere now & enjoying the Lovely cheap friendly Spanish lifestyle .Hope this has not been too boring .

'Past the menopause'? What's that got to do with anything? 🤣

My ex was tight, I had to chase after him for his share of the rent etc. After the honeymoon phase, got to see what a 40 year old man child he was.
About a year into the relationship, I came across a bank statement and realised he was a trust fund baby, with his dad transferring £10k every month. He didn't live frivolously or anything, no idea what he did with the money. Turns out his family were aristocratic. Didn't work out for a vast number of reasons but blew my mind at the time.

@Sisad

Yes , one of whom I thought was a good friend in Spain , totally a remainer turnes out to be a racist , couldn't speakmtje lingo & never mixes with the Spanish as I do .Also discovered that te sister of my ex wife, who had a lovely American husband in Pennssylvania already 2 kids by different fathers was shagging every man she could ,even her cousin , the finally got divorced at his expense & she walked off with $ 5 million . She contolled my wife & returning home one day after work I secretly heard hervsay for Christ'ssake -- take him for every penny you can , which she did of course I left hrr the house in exchange for my mums inheritance , & With that bought my tiny casita here near Alcoy & have a Spanish only Speaking lady friend , past the menopause, & she's so strong & helps me a lot, we'recsettledvhere now & enjoying the Lovely cheap friendly Spanish lifestyle .Hope this has not been too boring .

Good for you. Enjoy each other and good riddance to your ex. Most young one should just be after the money with an older guy, so more suited to be with someone a similar age to you.

@Sisad

Yes , one of whom I thought was a good friend in Spain , totally a remainer turnes out to be a racist , couldn't speakmtje lingo & never mixes with the Spanish as I do .Also discovered that te sister of my ex wife, who had a lovely American husband in Pennssylvania already 2 kids by different fathers was shagging every man she could ,even her cousin , the finally got divorced at his expense & she walked off with $ 5 million . She contolled my wife & returning home one day after work I secretly heard hervsay for Christ'ssake -- take him for every penny you can , which she did of course I left hrr the house in exchange for my mums inheritance , & With that bought my tiny casita here near Alcoy & have a Spanish only Speaking lady friend , past the menopause, & she's so strong & helps me a lot, we'recsettledvhere now & enjoying the Lovely cheap friendly Spanish lifestyle .Hope this has not been too boring .

This is a very weird post. What has your friend's Brexit/Remain vote got to do with his ability to speak Spanish or indeed his racism? Or your girlfriend's post-menopausal state to do with the price of coal?

Oooh I don't have any good ones to add, but these are fascinating, some very sad.

Only narcissists tell everyone what they are good at.

Worked with a mate for a few months before he casually dropped into conversation that he'd been done for fraud and his ex wife had been done for stealing from a very well known bank.

He's the loveliest guy and an absolute darling. It was a shock!

@takenforgrantednana

not a friend but my (nearly)daughter in law, she has been with my son for 10 years now and living together for 9 of them, but has decided that 2 weeks ago was the time to annnounce on facebook that she is bi! ok i dont give a monkeys arse about the sexual relationship preferences of anyone, but frankly after this amount of time together why the need to come out now? son already knew, although he isnt part of what she decides to do or who with! and frankly whose business is it anyway? its not going to change anything for anyone involved with her and i just feel like it was some cry for attn really

If you don't care (and it kind if seems like you do) then ignore it.

@Nanalisa60

I found out at 21 that my Mum and Dad did not get married until I was 10. Apparently my Mum was married to a man who refused to her divorce her , and they had to wait until 1969 when the law changed and see could divorce him without his permission. They had married before the war split up after the war and she had to wait 1969 to officially get rid of him. Mum had changed her name by de pole to my Dads surname. It sure a shame at the time my Mum and Dad were so ashamed that I was born out of wedlock.

My ex told me that one Friday afternoon, when he was 14, His Mum asked him whether he was going to be around the next day. When he asked why, she said "Well, your dad and I are getting married, and we wondered if you wanted to come along". He hadn't known they weren't married!

My mum is called Debbie…. I only realised really recently and after fifteen years of friendship that my best friends mum is also called Debbie.

Oooh I remembered another one.

A very dapper elderly gent who I became close friends with confided in me that he had served three years in prison for a white-collar crime to do with insider trading.

Five years later, after a couple of glasses of wine he told me he'd lied because he was too ashamed to tell me the truth. I was, of course, all ears!

The truth was, he and a prostitute who drank in the same Soho pub joined forces to blackmail one of her spanking clients, who was a prominentTory MP. The MP went straight to the police but pretended he was going to drop the money in a bin in Hyde Park. He dropped it but the police were watching as my friend collected the money. He was sentenced to three years.

@FluffyRabbitGal

I was given a pen pal from the US when I was at secondary school when I was 11-12 years old who I still keep in touch with regularly. I must have known her over 25 years and in that time we’ve become pretty close friends. When she wrote in one of her letters that she had voted for Donald Trump & attended a number of rallies to support him, I genuinely felt like I didn’t know her at all . This truly rocked me to the core.

I had a Canadian penpal like that. We wrote for a few years, and she eventually said she'd voted for some batshit mental far right party "because the immigrants are taking over". I stopped writing after that.

A friend is a graphic designer and I'd known him for about ten years when I discovered that he designed the logo for a very famous clothing brand.
The logo looks like a signature and I always assumed it was the signature of someone related to the brand - it's actually his handwriting.

Growing up, my family spent a lot of time with my Dad's friend's family. They had a daughter a similar age to me and although we were not in the same area, as teens/20s we would visit each-other independently for weekends etc. As we got older we remained friends but didn't see each other as regularly due to work/children etc. Over the last 5 years or so she was in hospital quite a bit and led me to believe that she was being tested for possible diseases. This year she died and her sister disclosed to me that she had been drinking increasingly heavily for many years and this caused her death. Apparently as a teenager she was hanging out with older men (nowadays it would have been considered grooming, but back then no one seemed to question it) and had several abortions that she did not want as they refused to use condoms but told her she would not be wanted if she had a baby. This haunted her and she drank to block it out.

I never realised what was happening to her as a youngster but looking back it does make sense. I wish I'd noticed and could perhaps have encouraged her to spend more time with me away from these men. I can understand why she didn't want to speak about this, or her alcoholism, but can't help wishing I'd noticed something and managed to get her to open up in the hope that it might have made things a bit easier for her

This thread is amazing! I found out a good friend of the last 6 years or so was born in a very surprising (to me) country because her parents fancied living there at the time - not a country most people from her parents' national/cultural background would fancy going to unless they had a connection with it. It causes her much grief whenever she travels due to current political differences.

@theelephantinthegroup

Growing up, my family spent a lot of time with my Dad's friend's family. They had a daughter a similar age to me and although we were not in the same area, as teens/20s we would visit each-other independently for weekends etc. As we got older we remained friends but didn't see each other as regularly due to work/children etc. Over the last 5 years or so she was in hospital quite a bit and led me to believe that she was being tested for possible diseases. This year she died and her sister disclosed to me that she had been drinking increasingly heavily for many years and this caused her death. Apparently as a teenager she was hanging out with older men (nowadays it would have been considered grooming, but back then no one seemed to question it) and had several abortions that she did not want as they refused to use condoms but told her she would not be wanted if she had a baby. This haunted her and she drank to block it out.

I never realised what was happening to her as a youngster but looking back it does make sense. I wish I'd noticed and could perhaps have encouraged her to spend more time with me away from these men. I can understand why she didn't want to speak about this, or her alcoholism, but can't help wishing I'd noticed something and managed to get her to open up in the hope that it might have made things a bit easier for her

God that's so sad. How dreadful.

Years ago I interviewed and recruited a volunteer for a charity I was involved with. For over a year we worked quite closely together and became good mates. She was excellent in her role and a massive asset to us. Eventually she resigned because 'she was moving to the country for a fresh start'. I bought her a little leaving present, we hugged and that was that.

Until I opened the paper the next week to discover she had been sentenced to several years in jail for defrauding her employers out of about £90,000.

are you still friends @LpPp

@londonmummy1966

I knew DH's grandfather was in the German army and fought on the Russian front in WW2. Didn't know until 10 years later that he had not come hoe at the end of the war as the Russians decimated their POWs and he had volunteered to be shot so a younger man could go home in his place.

How sad and heroic. How many people would do something like that today?