Fat comment by MIL

[Anoart1]

Really down at the moment. Mixture of things but most recent: MIL commented that as I’m so fat now (I’m size 12) I should give her my really nice dresses as I will never fit into them again. She wants to give few of them to my SIL (SIL is older and has more than enough money to buy herself a few dresses). I politely told MIL I will lose the weight it’s just I haven’t really tried. Her response was “no you won’t, DC is nearly 2 years old now and you still fat”. I was really upset and spoke to DH whose response was well she’s right and no point keeping clothes you can’t wear anymore. Not to drip feed and give all the facts she gifted some of these to me on my wedding day as per tradition so it’s a done thing not her being “nice” it’s tradition. But I have never heard of a MIL asking back for them! My sisters think it’s hilarious of her asking and DH is not supportive. They are my clothes after all and I feel weird giving them away as MIL has decided I will never fit into them.

[ChelleMum85]

@Anoart1

Really down at the moment. Mixture of things but most recent: MIL commented that as I’m so fat now (I’m size 12) I should give her my really nice dresses as I will never fit into them again. She wants to give few of them to my SIL (SIL is older and has more than enough money to buy herself a few dresses). I politely told MIL I will lose the weight it’s just I haven’t really tried. Her response was “no you won’t, DC is nearly 2 years old now and you still fat”. I was really upset and spoke to DH whose response was well she’s right and no point keeping clothes you can’t wear anymore. Not to drip feed and give all the facts she gifted some of these to me on my wedding day as per tradition so it’s a done thing not her being “nice” it’s tradition. But I have never heard of a MIL asking back for them! My sisters think it’s hilarious of her asking and DH is not supportive. They are my clothes after all and I feel weird giving them away as MIL has decided I will never fit into them.

Push that bitch down the stairs.

Your husband doesn't deserve you.

In fact - I'm really sad and disheartened that a lot of women on here just let their husband's get away with speaking to you like this. What the he'll are you doing ladies!? Would you let a man speak to your daughter's like this!?!? Like, I would be swinging! If any man ever spoke to me like that I would show them the door and send them back to Mummy if they are so in agreement with her opinion. It's narcissistic behaviour and abusive at that. Put your foot down, head up, shoulders back and raise those voices! Stand up for yourself and show him you will not be spoken to like that and if he continues with that opinion then he won't be needing or wanting a piece of that ass he likes to stick his dick in.

On the dress thing - MIL is jealous her daughter doesn't have pretty dresses and wants to roll that shit in glitter.

[Bartonzam]

I would tell them both to fuck off and stuff their dresses up their arses. I can't believe their rudeness

[Bartonzam]

I would love to be a size 14 let's alone a 12!!

[miltonj]

Urgh can you divorce your husband, mil and Mum, they all sound horrible!

[LoverOfAllThingsPurple]

Give every single one of them to charity!!! I’d not bother with any of them again. As for the ‘husband’, is he usually nice? Or generally a pig? Insensitive? You deserve so much better. I wish I was fat as you!!

[LoisLane66]

Unless you're a 10 year old girl the a size 12 isn't even a UK average. The latest news on UK women's sizing is that 14/16 is UK average.
It's nothing short of ridiculous for you to believe that you need to diet from a size 12.
I guess you are either not in the UK or you're here and of Indian extraction.
Whatever, your MiL and DH are out of order. I bet your MiL isn't a size 8/10.
Ignore.

[Mumontour85]

I'm so sorry that ANYONE thinks it's ok to speak to you like that and make you feel so bad, but especially your DH! What an absolute asshat. I'd definitely be having a word with him about how he makes you feel, or at least making a comment along the lines of 'i gave birth, what's your excuse for not looking like an oil painting?' (even if he does!).
Re your MIL, if YOU WANT to lose weight then keep your clothes. You dont need to explain anything to anyone, but it does sound like you need to out your foot down and be firmer with her. Even just to say 'they are MY clothes and I'll do as I see fit with them. If I ever decide I don't want them, I will donate or sell to whom i want!!'

I think you need to speak to DH before she just shows up to help herself. Tell him straight up that if his mum even dares to come into your home and steal your things she will be ejected. Forcibly if necessary. He won't like it but it sounds like he has to pick a side, or be a medium. At the moment he's being a pansy little mamma's boy and needs to shape up and support you, his wife and mother of his child.

Good luck to you!

[HazelnutD]

Size 12 fat? OMG is she for real? And as for coming to take what she wants out of your wardrobe, I would get everything out of there, at least everything you can do without until she's been, and take them to my mates. I can't believe she's thinking of doing this or tbh, that you're going to let her.

[Voord]

People like your MIL understand one language only and it’s blunt and it’s firm. Don’t lower yourself to her level but politely, firmly, tell her to mind her own fucking business. She says stuff like that because she gets away with doing so.

[Fluffmum]

12!!!! Tell her to f@ck off!!!

[BooneyBeautiful]

Apart from anything else, how can anyone say that being size 12 is fat? Ridiculous and hurtful comment. The average size in the UK is now a size 16. MIL and DH sound like a right pair! As other people have said, hide the dresses away and if you do ever decide to get rid of them, sell them or give them to charity.

[stilltypewithonefinger]

So your mother-in-law is really horrible to you and your husband behaves likes his mum and will probably continue to do so because that is what he has shown is normal. Honestly, you deserve better and to be adored!

[Benjispruce5]

OP it’s definitely not you. She has no business commenting on your body whether you are overweight or not!! Your DH sounds as bad . I couldn’t live like that.

[Morgysmum]

OMG,
Tell them all to Fuck off. A size 12 isn't fat. I wish I was a size 12, I think I might have been at like 12. But not since.
Looking after Children is a full time job, that some people don't understand, you don't get a break from, or paid for.
If your partner doesn't support you and say to get rid of your clothes, take all the stuff he doesn't take and either donate them, or hide them, then when he moans, yoy can say they make you look fat, turn the tables on him.
As for your MIL, don't invite her around, don't get rid of the clothes, there yours. If anyone brings it up, tell them to sod off, there yours, you aren't a sodding charity for cheaky twats.
Maybe look at getting some therapy, as it might help you feel better about yourself. Then if you decide to tone your self up, so yoy can fit in the dresses again, then you will have the get go to try, but don't forget your body changes after having a baby, I have bigger boobs and a muffin top, even cycling to work and home, I can only just squeeze in a size 18 jeans, if I don't mind not being able to sit. My top half sometimes is an 18, sometimes more, it depends on how much room they give for boobs. I don't like things tight on my stomach.

[Benjispruce5]

It does not matter that a 12 isn’t fat. What is op was larger? It’s just not her business. An average size is nothing to do with what is overweight, it’s the middle ground of of the female population’s weight.

[IrishKatie1971]

This horrible hag should not have a key to your house.

[Zd23]

Honestly I have been through this with my own mother in law ( and sil) I started having a fear of food when my mil and sil kept telling me how big my legs was and that I " need to exercise" ( I wasn't even big and I know that now) it triggered off an eating disorder with me, I've lost so much weight and need to put weight on if anything, but my sil and mil will still say " I need to work on my legs" " your legs are too big you need to loose weight there" ( I'm pear shaped so naturally my weight is on the bottom but I'm not even big I'm a size 10. The worst part about it is they know about my eating disorder and still come to my house and tell me how big my legs are. They have never suggested giving away my clothes etc, but I've had the same thing and it's disgusting and horrible, I've realised now I'm fine as I am and I don't let it get to me anymore because I don't want my daughter to go through the same thing with them. At the end of the day your son is only 2 years old, still so so young and it's hard work. Your not even big and if You want to loose weight or don't feel comfortable in yourself that is up tor you to decide not anyone else, same goes for giving your clothes away. Don't let anyone treat you like this. If you want too, you definitely can fit into those clothes again no matter what anyone says, but even if you don't that's okay too. You've had a baby and our bodies change after we have babies. That's perfectly normal.

[Greenshed]

How rude your MiL is. Size 12 is not overweight. Is she a size 6 waif by any chance?

[Tigger1895]

@Mybalconyiscracking

Why not try
“I will decide what I do with my own clothes thank you and I would appreciate it if you did not make personal remarks”
You have this woman in your life for years, absolutely stand up for yourself.

I’d be more inclined to say, I can lose the weight but you’ll always be a complete c…

[BirdyBirdyTweetTweet]

I would love to be a 12! Or even 14. Scrub that I'd take 16. Just give me an 18 and I'm happy.

They are KNOBS!!!

[whataboutbob]

OP am I right in thinking you are of non-white British origin , maybe south Asian ( sorry if I missed that in previous posts). In which case simply telling your MIL to F off is not realistic. Plus your DH will find it very hard to challenge her. Her behaviour is unacceptable in any terms, but perhaps not so unusual in a woman of that age and background ( if I’m correct). Are there any organisations which deal specifically with supporting Asian brides and helping them deal with in law abuse? I’m thinking of Karma Nirvana. They deal with forced marriage an honour based violence, but maybe they could point you towards a more appropriate source of support.

[SunshineCake1]

I gave away some clothes as too fat. They would now fit and I'm annoyed. Who says you won't wear them again. Stuff your MIL and DH.

[angelfacecuti75]

Mother in law "don't speak to me like that thanks, its not acceptable ..and no I'm not going to give them back to you ."..
Hubby "I'm the mother of your child you could at least show me some respect . I might be heavier but I've carried your baby for 9 months. A size 12 in comparison to the rest of the women in the world isn't a heiffer . And you'd do good to remember to respect me as well as your mother, because at the moment you are being awful (that's)

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

@Anoart1

MIL is generally very cruel so I don’t know why this hurt more than usual. She told me she’s coming next week to look in my wardrobe and take what she fancies!

Tell her to fuck off iout of it!

(I rarely spell out the "F" word, but this has made me angry!

Frankly, I would sooner burn everything I couldn't fit into than give it to someone like that.

If you feel you can't (physically, if she intends to go through your wardrobe) fight her off, put all of the stuff that you can't quite fit into at the moment up into the loft and tell her you put it in a charity bag!

She's a cow.

And when you do get that weight of again, and start wearing your gorgeous clothes, you can say "This is why I didn't give it to you".

She's horrible. 12 is far from fat. But even if you were a size 34, it isn't up to her to be rude to you and steal your clothes!

[Friendofdennis]

In your culture does the mother in law have a lot of say and power? Even so you still need to stand up to her. Don’t let her have your clothes and try to ignore her rude personal comments