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Fat comment by MIL
298

Anoart1 · 19/11/2021 06:18

Really down at the moment. Mixture of things but most recent: MIL commented that as I’m so fat now (I’m size 12) I should give her my really nice dresses as I will never fit into them again. She wants to give few of them to my SIL (SIL is older and has more than enough money to buy herself a few dresses). I politely told MIL I will lose the weight it’s just I haven’t really tried. Her response was “no you won’t, DC is nearly 2 years old now and you still fat”. I was really upset and spoke to DH whose response was well she’s right and no point keeping clothes you can’t wear anymore. Not to drip feed and give all the facts she gifted some of these to me on my wedding day as per tradition so it’s a done thing not her being “nice” it’s tradition. But I have never heard of a MIL asking back for them! My sisters think it’s hilarious of her asking and DH is not supportive. They are my clothes after all and I feel weird giving them away as MIL has decided I will never fit into them.

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Pinkfluff76 · 20/11/2021 20:38

Tell her to fuck off. And ask her if she meant to be so rude?? You don’t take something back you gave to someone! Size 12 is not fat. Most people dream of being smaller. Sorry OP

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Yummymummy2020 · 20/11/2021 20:47

Don’t mind either of them. Size 12 is not fat and having a two year old isn’t all that long after pregnancy and birth. If you decide to diet for you and wish to fit into the smaller size that’s on you, it’s none of their business what you do with your property though or what size you are. How rude of all them, especially your husband.

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rwalker · 20/11/2021 20:49

I'd parcel up everything she's given you everything not just dresses.

I'm with DH if they don't fit been cluttering cupboard up for years get rid. However it doesn't mean I think your fat or need to loose weight .

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AnnieSnap · 20/11/2021 20:49

On no planet is a size 12 fat. What they said to you is unacceptable. Tell them that!

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Runmybathforme · 20/11/2021 20:49

Why are you allowing your MIL to walk all over you like this ? Do not allow her of go through your stuff. Your DH sounds just as bad.

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yellowpdfdocuments · 20/11/2021 20:51

What utter bastards OP!

I think that's my only comment.

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Bollindger · 20/11/2021 20:57

Remove all the clothing, maybe a good friend can store them for you, leave almost nothing in the Wardrobe, maybe go ugly clothes shopping at a bootsale or charity shop.
Also tell your husband if he won't agree to stop his mum bullying you, you will return HIM as well...

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Cameleongirl · 20/11/2021 21:00

@Unsure1983

She has zero boundaries, so you need to have some.

"I'm afraid I won't be discussing my weight with you."
"I'll make a decision on what to do with my clothes, thank you."

Problem is are you ready for the fallout afterwards? You would have to stick to your guns and it may cause an argument. However, what's the alternative? For her to trample over you for the rest of your life?

This^^ Nasty cow.
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neveradullmoment99 · 20/11/2021 21:03

A size 12? FFS! You are not fat.
Hiddeous person.
Make a equally hiddeous comment back.
Really? How dare she!

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Italiangreyhound · 20/11/2021 21:07

You are not fat and even if you were it is unbelievable for your MIL to ask for clothes from you. I'd simply say 'Have you any idea how rude you are being, ten walk off. "

Your husband sounds pretty spineless too.

Please boost your self esteem and tell them both to piss off, your weight or dress size is not up for discussion.

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mizzmelli123 · 20/11/2021 21:13

I would give them all to charity/womans refuge. And tell my MIL and DH to go fuck themselves. He sounds like a limp dick Mummys boys and she just sounds like a nasty old bitch.

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TempNameChangexx · 20/11/2021 21:17

If you seriously think that your bat-shit MIL is likely to come in and steal your clothes, tell your H (he's clearly not a DH) that you will report her to the police for theft and she is doing it with that known risk

Can you give the clothes you can't fit into to someone you trust, to look after for you? (somewhere your evil MIL can't find them ?)

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grandageorge · 20/11/2021 21:45

I'm following DW with fast 800. Slow but sure and no hunger/booze/snacking. Good luck.

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DBI78 · 20/11/2021 22:12

I've had similar stuff from my mil it's really hurtful. My dh tends to dismiss it partly loyalty to mum and also to try and keep the peace. I would try to ignore it. No one should be judged on weight and especially not someone who has birthed a child with their kick ass body. And I would absolutely not give the clothes up even if I had no intention of ever wearing them again.

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Happyher · 20/11/2021 22:13

size 12 is not fat!! Stick to your guns, don’t be depressed, be assertive by just ignoring her. She’s a bully

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Lovely13 · 20/11/2021 22:22

They are just horrible people. Give the clothes away, stash them somewhere if you prefer to keep them. But tell her to absolutely fuck off. I would also tell your husband that too. He sounds like a pathetic arse.

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Rainydayss · 20/11/2021 22:36

In response to the comment 'your DC is 2 and you're still fat'

You should reply
'your DC (my DH) is 43 and you're still a rude txxt'

Change the age and dear word to suit....

I don't understand why people think it's acceptable to be so rude and then not get it back, get her told..

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LizzieW1969 · 20/11/2021 23:51

@Unsure1983

She has zero boundaries, so you need to have some.

"I'm afraid I won't be discussing my weight with you."
"I'll make a decision on what to do with my clothes, thank you."

Problem is are you ready for the fallout afterwards? You would have to stick to your guns and it may cause an argument. However, what's the alternative? For her to trample over you for the rest of your life?

I agree with this entirely, I’m afraid. This woman won’t take kindly to you standing up to her, but it’s the only way you’ll get her to back off.
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Michellelovesizzy · 21/11/2021 08:30

Ur mil is a bitch..... but ur husband is worse letting her do that to and agreeing. A size 12 is in no way fat fuck them xxx

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Pinksloth · 21/11/2021 08:44

@DBI78

I've had similar stuff from my mil it's really hurtful. My dh tends to dismiss it partly loyalty to mum and also to try and keep the peace. I would try to ignore it. No one should be judged on weight and especially not someone who has birthed a child with their kick ass body. And I would absolutely not give the clothes up even if I had no intention of ever wearing them again.

The thing is, though, what about loyalty to you too. And as for keeping the peace, maybe it's time to make a few more waves yourself.

Sometimes we make it easier for people to trample our boundaries by not standing up for ourselves.

I agree totally with the rest of your post though.
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Headinthecloudsfeetinthemud · 21/11/2021 09:03

You’ve given away your power to your husband and MIL. It’s yours, own it and grow it. They can f* right off, how bloody rude!

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DDMAC · 21/11/2021 09:45

I have had similar comments from my mil and only recently she was harping on about how fat I was when I was pregnant. My youngest is 11 now so no idea why she’s still bringing it up. I usually teeter between 12-16 in clothes 12 is my happier size.
Dh will never defend me either, eilll never hear one word against his mother 🙄she’s 85 now and has calmed down a lot, used to be intolerable when we first married.
Can’t imagine her going through my wardrobe though! Although she has many times hinted at having some of my clothes and I’ve leant her things for weddings before.

Anyway I totally empathise with you. Please hide the clothes she’s after!

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DDMAC · 21/11/2021 09:46

Meant to say also I think she’s less insulting because I started answering her back, I think she started to get a bit scared of my temper 😂

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Alip1965 · 21/11/2021 10:21

This is awful. What a nasty bunch. Is this cultural ? Even so, I don't know of any cultures who are so hurtful to their family.

Tell her you sent them to charity shop and hide them or tell her to fuck off and mind her own fat business. As for the husband he's a dummy. He probably thinks it's about clearing out unwanted clothes.
As for your mother, I know your pain...

Tell them all to fuck off. ... or knock em out.

X

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BubbleCoffee · 21/11/2021 11:30

She told me she’s coming next week to look in my wardrobe and take what she fancies!

Remove everything from your wardrobe. Leave some notes stuck to the inside. 'Oh dear, nothing here' and 'Contents removed due to people helping themselves'.

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