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Fat comment by MIL
298

Anoart1 · 19/11/2021 06:18

Really down at the moment. Mixture of things but most recent: MIL commented that as I’m so fat now (I’m size 12) I should give her my really nice dresses as I will never fit into them again. She wants to give few of them to my SIL (SIL is older and has more than enough money to buy herself a few dresses). I politely told MIL I will lose the weight it’s just I haven’t really tried. Her response was “no you won’t, DC is nearly 2 years old now and you still fat”. I was really upset and spoke to DH whose response was well she’s right and no point keeping clothes you can’t wear anymore. Not to drip feed and give all the facts she gifted some of these to me on my wedding day as per tradition so it’s a done thing not her being “nice” it’s tradition. But I have never heard of a MIL asking back for them! My sisters think it’s hilarious of her asking and DH is not supportive. They are my clothes after all and I feel weird giving them away as MIL has decided I will never fit into them.

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BubbleCoffee · 21/11/2021 11:36

Also, before she comes round, say you'll be going through her wardrobe to take what you fancy in return. When she says it won't fit you, say 'Did you mean to be so rude?' and reassure her you'll be cutting the garments up to make a patchwork quilt.

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eastegg · 21/11/2021 11:49

@Joystir59

They are both (your partner and his mother) being cruel. Size 12 isn't fat.

Whether size 12 is fat or not is missing the point completely. Are you suggesting it would be ok if OP were what, size 16?
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Angiemum24 · 21/11/2021 12:10

Empty your wardrobe before she comes. Hide it at a friends. Then go to her house and comment how she’s to old for this and that!

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Marvellousmadness · 21/11/2021 12:18

Stand up to her. Do NOT let her go through your wardrobe. Lock the door. Don't her in. Tell her to get fucked. Or just donate all the dressed to charity right now before the bitch comes to your house

Your dh is terrible for not sticking up for you and not telling his mum off
Stand up for yourself op . No one else is going to!

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josbd · 21/11/2021 13:06

She seems to enjoy getting away with her "nasty bastard" notoriety. so it is time you stood up to her.

At your doorstep, you stand tall, look her in the eye, and say "There is no way in hell you are coming into MY house, and dictating how I live. You are a despicable, horrible creature! Now: FUCK RIGHT OFF.

Then slam the door

It HAS to be this strong to stand any chance of getting through to the bitch

Good luck

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riceuten · 21/11/2021 17:13

I'd never speak to her again, to be honest. Get this toxic arsehole out of your life.

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Bobbins36 · 21/11/2021 17:30

@Anoart1

MIL is generally very cruel so I don’t know why this hurt more than usual. She told me she’s coming next week to look in my wardrobe and take what she fancies!

Please tell her to f*ck right off out of your house.
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MultiStorey · 21/11/2021 17:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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MultiStorey · 21/11/2021 17:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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Treesandsheepeverywhere · 21/11/2021 18:04

I would give them back OP as they are conditional gifts. Don't accept anything else from her with 'Oh don't waste your stiff on me, I won't fit into them etc.
Good luck standing up to yourself with both her and dh.

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thelonghaul · 21/11/2021 19:53

Hide the clothes or, if you don't think you want them, give them to charity. Do NOT let this bully have her way. And your DH seriously need to sort himself out or I'd be changing the locks.
They are all arses. You may lose weight. You might not. Nobody else's business what you do or what clothes you keep or give away.
Get these toxic people out of your life.

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yellowpdfdocuments · 21/11/2021 21:30

Genuinely OP you should hide in the wardrobe wearing the scariest halloween costume possible. Jump out and tell her you've eaten the clothes. Then chase her screaming from the house. On all fours. Then go for a drink with some women friends.

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ChargingBuck · 21/11/2021 21:50

I like it, @yellowpdfdocuments.
In fact I like it so much I think we should get up a posse.
How many mumsnetters would fit into your wardrobe OP? - bearing in mind I am quite fat, so my presence is both necessary & topical. Your MiL will hate me :)

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yellowpdfdocuments · 21/11/2021 21:52

It's either that or set up the wardrobe up against an external doorway and hollow the back out Narnia style so, after a little tussle with some fur coats, she's out in the back of your house with no way to re-enter. Goodbye MIL.

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ChargingBuck · 21/11/2021 21:56

Blimey, that's actually the Snow Queen's origin story @yellowpdfdocuments. Running round Narnia pinching all the best frocks & calling Mrs Badger fat. What a bitch!

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yellowpdfdocuments · 21/11/2021 22:00

You've got me and @ChargingBuck willing to back you up in the wardrobe OP, and I'm sure many others.

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user1490954378 · 22/11/2021 08:56

Tell her to fuck off and buy the SIL some clothes if she needs some. Tell her she's not having yours as they belong to you. If she argues, tell her piss off home. And your husband is upset tell him to grow the fuck up and start standing up to her.

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laudete · 22/11/2021 09:26

Those are your clothes and it is irrelevant that you don't wear them; they are your possessions. However, I do agree with your MIL and mom that you are unlikely to wear them again. Two years post-pregnancy, you are likely the "right" size for you and that is absolutely fine. Everyone changes a bit over time.

Do whatever you like with the clothes - keep them, donate them, eBay them, etc. But, do not let MIL rummage through your wardrobe and steal them for SIL. Tbh, I'd sooner have you shred them for cleaning rags than let MIL regift your clothes. Perhaps, MIL would like a bundle of cleaning rags for xmas? ;)

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me109f · 22/11/2021 19:17

12 is not fat. I am stunned that your nosey, interfering and rude MIL can try and bully and shame you to part with some of your clothes.
You are an adult, and should not put up with any of this nonsense, and if anyone fancies your stuff they should politely ask for items, if, by any chance, you did not feel that you would be wearing them again.
She clearly feels she has a role in dominating you and your husband. Tell her to FO and to stay away if she cannot behave herself. You should not be defensive in committing to lose weight either. Why should you? Surely not to give her the satisfaction of making you do something you may struggle with.

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lilstarr99 · 23/11/2021 07:06

@Anoart1

MIL is generally very cruel so I don’t know why this hurt more than usual. She told me she’s coming next week to look in my wardrobe and take what she fancies!

Tell her to fuck off!! 🤬
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BubbleCoffee · 23/11/2021 11:21

Oh, this thread is now on the Daily Mail website. What a surprise.

Biscuit

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AL125 · 25/11/2021 21:08

First your MIL has no boundaries and second I’m embarrassed that she is a mother and a woman the way she treats you. Lastly, it’s time to talk to your husband and mom why it makes you upset, it’s not about the clothes that you can’t fit but rather the message your MIL delivered and the way it was delivered. I don’t know the specifics, but it’s important to talk to your husband because this will create resentment that will only increase with time. I think you should also politely say to your MIL that the clothes you own will be your choice to give it away.

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Roxy69 · 25/11/2021 22:48

@MintJulia

Both your MIL and your H are unsupportive and nasty.

Move the dresses she is referring to. Lock them in the boot of your car or in your locker at work etc.

The sooner your vile MIL learns that her rudeness and interference will get her nothing, the better.

Yes do this, move the clothes somewhere, with a supportive friends garage or something. Don't allow them to out you down, I think one sharp remark (that you will have thought up and committed to memory) should sort them out. People only pick on people who don't defend themselves, so I would definitely get a lock on the bedroom door and use it. If they ask tell then that you are capable of running your own life and would appreciate it if they would not be nasty any more. Good luck.
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