Fat comment by MIL

[Anoart1]

Really down at the moment. Mixture of things but most recent: MIL commented that as I’m so fat now (I’m size 12) I should give her my really nice dresses as I will never fit into them again. She wants to give few of them to my SIL (SIL is older and has more than enough money to buy herself a few dresses). I politely told MIL I will lose the weight it’s just I haven’t really tried. Her response was “no you won’t, DC is nearly 2 years old now and you still fat”. I was really upset and spoke to DH whose response was well she’s right and no point keeping clothes you can’t wear anymore. Not to drip feed and give all the facts she gifted some of these to me on my wedding day as per tradition so it’s a done thing not her being “nice” it’s tradition. But I have never heard of a MIL asking back for them! My sisters think it’s hilarious of her asking and DH is not supportive. They are my clothes after all and I feel weird giving them away as MIL has decided I will never fit into them.

If it makes you feel even the slightest bit better, or at least puts a smile on your face…
My 4yo DS told me I’m so fat I must have eaten the whole fridge today

Size 12 is not fat ! And don’t give the MIL any clothes !

What a cruel woman. I've kept all my smaller clothes because I love them and I know I'll slim down and get back into them. Size 12 isn't fat at all.

My MIL told me that perhaps if I "reduced my arse" then I wouldn't have a sore back. I get a sore back from time to time since having an epidural when I had DC. I'm a 12-14. MIL is a 22!

@Greenrubber says who! 2 year is how long it take your body to recover, she dosen't need underlying issues. Everyone has their own timescales and variables are huge.

Tell her to fook off! She has no right to helping herself to your things!!!
Nor does she have the right to root around in your closet!!!

I wish I was a 12!

Your MIL is an idiot, and unfortunately your husband got the gene.

I'd try the MN tinkly laugh and something along the lines of "YOu are such a hoot MIL you know - all I need to do to look good in the dresses again is to go on a diet - you'd need a face lift or five - failing that a time machine"

Personally I would say 'I may be fat, but I can loose the weight you on the other hand will always be a nasty vindictive c$%*'
Also in regards to her saying she is coming to go through your wardrobe, message her back and say she is not doing that, she does not have your permission and if she dies you will call the police and get her done for stealing.
Now in regards to your husband, I don't usually say this but get your ducks in a row and LTB.

Time for you to be less polite, she’s rude, once you’ve given someone a gift it’s their’s.

As others have said pack the nice clothes that don’t fit for now away, don’t tell MIL or DH where you’ve put them. Can one of your sisters store them?

Get a lock put on your bedroom door, locksmith will come out and do that. MIL should not be poking around.

Buy yourself some nice clothes that fit now, they can always be adjusted when you feel ready to lose weight.

Wow just wow.😒
I would be contemplating getting rid of DH and that gets rid of MIL as well.

Lose the weight (if you want to). That'll show her!

You could lose a shit ton of weight in an instance by ditching your DH AND his family. #sortedyourproblemforyou

Size 12 is not fat! I'm 5ft10 so when I was size 12 back in the day, I was really slim looking. Do not give her any dresses, she's vile & prob just jealous you have a good figure & nice clothes .

Size 12 is not fat!

Seriously she is a bitch and your husband is a twat. Don't you dare give her your dresses. If you decide to get rid of them give them to the bloody charity shop. In fact I would just tell her that's what I had done and hide them in the attic until you've lost weight. Plus, size 12 is not fat.

Sounds like it's time for them to be your ex mil and ex husband. Disgusting.

@Anoart1

Thank you both. Didn’t add but my own mum things MIL is right and it’s no point keeping clothes I will never get into again. The thing is I haven’t even tried dieting. I’m 2 dress sizes from what I was before DC, I don’t know why they keep making me feel like I can never be what I was. It’s actually making me eat more!

@Anoart1 ”…they keep making me…” No, you keep making you. Nobody can “make” you feel anything. They may be the impetus, but you’re allowing yourself to feel bad. STOP TAKING THEM SO SERIOUSLY!!! Start taking yourself seriously and your feelings seriously and don’t blame anyone else for your personal problems or life. It’s YOUR life!

*”It’s actually making me eat more.”
Or is it just a convenient excuse to eat more? You really need to look into your heart of hearts and be honest with yourself. You sound like I used to before I stripped away all the reasons I overate. If you’re happy with your weight, then tell everyone to f**k off. If you aren’t happy, then stop making excuses and stop blaming others and work on yourself.
It’s your weight - it’s up to you to either live with it or lose an amount that will make you happy.

You remind me of me. ❤️

Oh you deserve so much better than this trio of vile, judgemental twats. You have my sympathy xx

I think we are from a similar cultural background!

I married into a traditional English family though. 'Bloody hell' is what my MIL said when DH told her of his plans to propose!

She went a bit crazy and made funny comments when I gave birth too. I think some women, mean MIL, have mixed emotions about becoming a grandmother. I argued with DH about some of her behaviour and months later he had a word. It was very understated but she was shocked that he'd said anything. I think all he said was 'You should be more sensitive when people become parents.'

I'd have a heart to heart with your DH be clear you're a respectful person but now that you're a mother you no longer have the energy to pander to you MIL. Your priority is your child and their best interests. You will not tolerate being spoken to in a disrespectful way.

She's prolly just jealous of you. Don't take any shit. People like that don't change, you will never get her on side. Try to not care about her thoughts.

My parents like yours were not very sympathetic!

Obvs it's good to keep the peace, I would never get in the way of my kids relationship with their grandmother but if she ever says anything negative I pick it up straight away and ask her what she means by it.

Good luck xxx

She told me she’s coming next week to look in my wardrobe and take what she fancies!

Tell her that if she tries to steal from you you'll be calling the police and telling everyone you know that she is a thief. What an appalling woman. And an appalling husband.

Invite over for a belated Bonfire Party and burn the clothes.
Go to her house and in her wardrobe and say you have too many clothes I will help you declutter.
Please stick up for yourself or it will never stop.
Good luck

Your Husband and his Mother are awful people.
Size 12 definitely is not fat, in fact it is a lovely size to be.
I agree with PringedPotato dump the Husband and her and find yourself a nicer family.

We literally may have the same MIL. Mine introduced me to someone at her house rhen said "she was much prettier before but she's gained weight now" .
Fwiw I was 3 dress sizes bigger post pregnancy until my dd was 3 and then I finally had the drive and time to lose it when i wanted to.
I was then fitter than pre pregnancy.( I'm now pregnant again) so don't feel like you can't do it or get back to where you were..you absolutely can!
But saying that, a size 12 isn't that big anyway so if you are happy and healthy then don't let anyone pressure you to be any different.

No offence intended - is this a cultural issue?

She has zero boundaries, so you need to have some.

"I'm afraid I won't be discussing my weight with you."
"I'll make a decision on what to do with my clothes, thank you."

Problem is are you ready for the fallout afterwards? You would have to stick to your guns and it may cause an argument. However, what's the alternative? For her to trample over you for the rest of your life?