Awkward situation at football practise..

[footballmum87]

Usually dh brings dd to football but tonight he was late in so I brought dd while he stays home with the other dc and does dinner and bath.
Getting out the house for an hour at this time feels like a spa break, the training area overlooks the water and it's lovely sitting in the silence. I even managed to get one of the few spots right next to the pitch so I've a perfect view of dd.
So far so good then an elderly gentleman comes over and knocks on the window to say his dgs is training and can he sit in the car with me 😕 I don't recognise him but he says his wife has popped to the shops in the car and left him here. The dc don't need to be supervised at training so he could have went with her. It's also been bloody freezing here all day and he's out with just a sports hoody on with no jacket/gloves etc.
I stuttered and made a pathetic feeble excuse about needing to make a private call and that I wasn't comfortable having anyone in the car
He looked taken aback but went off and now keeps walking past my car.
What would you have done? I feel like a bitch for not wanting some random bloke in the car ruining my hours peace but it seems really mean 😕

Good grief, he could've been a rapist. Absolutely right not to let him in the car. How else did he expect you to react? What an idiot!

@NewlyGranny

This chap was Schrödinger's rapist. Commonsense says OP refuses to let him sit in her car; she has no way of knowing whether or not he presents a danger to her.

She only has to say, "No - I don't know you from Adam. You'll have to make your own arrangements."

Women are not service humans for every random person.

Love this!

I don't live in constant fear at all and I doubt many posters, if any, do. A big part of the way we avoid feeling fear, is by making sensible pre-emptive decisions, just as OP did.

I'm a man and wouldn't want some random person sitting in a car with me. This is a huge imposition and not a reasonable thing to ask, even after you take age and sex out of the equation.

It might be different if it was someone unexpectedly stranded at an isolated spot, but someone who has voluntarily gone to watch a football match should be dressed and equipped to do it comfortably without the help of strangers.

@lottiegarbanzo

I don't live in constant fear at all and I doubt many posters, if any, do. A big part of the way we avoid feeling fear, is by making sensible pre-emptive decisions, just as OP did.

I doubt many women live in constant fear. It's being wary and looking after yourself.

I think the male perspective is interesting here, exactly because, generally, men are much better at asserting their own interests (sometimes too good), usually with little thought at all. It would be a straight no and no thread on MN afterwards to gain reassurance that you weren't being a meanie!

@BoredZelda

Do you not understand how many women are assaulted, raped and/or killed by men every year?

I’d be interested to see the stats on how many of them happen in a busy car park.

Recently a young woman was murdered in a shopping complex car park by her ex.

I don't recognise him but he says his wife has popped to the shops in the car and left him here

I ... he ... what... I JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ENTITLEMENT!!!!!

"Oi - Random Woman. Yes, you. You'll do. My Default Woman is unavailable. I need Another Woman. You must attend to me. Now. I will stare at you uncomfortably if you do not comply."

JUST. FUCK. OFF.

Definitely not. Why on earth would you want a random man in your car? I would have directed him to the nearest bus shelter.

@gofg

I'm not going to reply individually to all the ridiculous comments on my previous posts, other than to address a couple of issues.

What happened to Grace Millane was shocking, but I did say bad things do happen, they happen everywhere, but I stand by my statement that women here do not live under the constant cloud of fear you seem to live under in the UK.

I am not naive enough to say none of these things have happened to me so they don't happen at all, but neither have they happened to a single person I know.

it does seem a dim approach to tell everyone else something is perfectly safe when you actually have no idea.

Are you incapable of reading and understanding? I said I had no idea BECAUSE I DO NOT LIVE IN THE UK. I did not say the UK is perfectly safe - are you thick?

Are you child or been living on the moon? What a stupid and naive comment

I am very far off being a child, and obviously you know far more about the town where I live than I do - even though you haven't a clue what that town is. Do you think I live in some little bubble where I never hear what is happening in my own town?? Women often walk home after a night out here, and so far none have been attacked, but of course you won't believe me so it's pointless continuing with this.

But just out of interest, are you saying that if a random man came and asked to get into your car, you would say yes?

I never mentioned the man in the OP's post, so how you can get from my posts that I said I would let him in my car is beyond me

I suggest some of you actually slow down and read posts before rushing into print.

Do you honestly, genuinely think that women in the UK are unique in being wary of men? In having cause to be?

@ChargingBuck

I don't recognise him but he says his wife has popped to the shops in the car and left him here

I ... he ... what... I JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ENTITLEMENT!!!!!

"Oi - Random Woman. Yes, you. You'll do. My Default Woman is unavailable. I need Another Woman. You must attend to me. Now. I will stare at you uncomfortably if you do not comply."

JUST. FUCK. OFF.

This.

Him asking would give me the rage, whether or not he was some weirdo.

The entitlement of it.

What ho @billy1966. Fancy forming a vigilante group?

First rule of Vigilante Group: THERE WILL BE ZERO TOLERANCE OF YOUR MALE BULLSHIT.

Ooooops, as you were.

Well I was going to ask if his wife had come back from the shop.
Seems an odd set-up, him being ditched without an outdoor jacket.
You didn’t notice her returning? Was she fabricated?

Weird.

@pictish, in my head, his wife said she was "popping to the shops" but has actually skedaddled for good, & is now sunning herself on a cruise with a 45 year old Adonis. This man will spend the remainder of his entitled, blinkered days approaching Replacement Women, & being saddened & confused by their heartless rejections.

[quote ChargingBuck]@pictish, in my head, his wife said she was "popping to the shops" but has actually skedaddled for good, & is now sunning herself on a cruise with a 45 year old Adonis. This man will spend the remainder of his entitled, blinkered days approaching Replacement Women, & being saddened & confused by their heartless rejections.[/quote]
I like this.

Just had a rush of panic that this was my ex husband but this guy is older.

Good for you for saying no.

Your update is chilling, Op. He was still there when your child went back for their hoodie 😮 And apparently not connected to any child there? Coaches didn't recognize him? What about your H?

Your update is chilling, Op. He was still there when your child went back for their hoodie 😮 And apparently not connected to any child there? Coaches didn't recognize him? What about your H?

OP, there was no other way to have responded to that.

If he wanted to sit in a car he could have sat in his wives car outside the shops.

He's either an entitled man who's gone in the huff, or, he is up to something.

The fact you say your daughter was last off and no child had approached him is odd.

Agree with chargingbuck about entitlement to support human that was my first thought

My other thought is that if he's entitled enough to make the request, he's going to spend the next hour banging on about himself non-stop.

Just read your update. That makes the situation even worse, as he doesn’t seem connected with the team.

Well done for speaking to the coach. It may be worth them sending a message out to see if anyone else has seen him (or know who he is). Defiantly suspicious!

It’s almost tempting to log it with the police,

@BoredZelda

Do you not understand how many women are assaulted, raped and/or killed by men every year?

I’d be interested to see the stats on how many of them happen in a busy car park."

A woman was raped by a man on a subway train last month and other passengers stood by, watched and filmed it. Doesn't matter how busy it is, it happens.

Every aspect of this is infuriating OP. And a bit scary. I'd be inclined to go next week with DH and see if he's there again. Then I'd get DH to approach him casually and see if he can point out his GCs. The loitering around the pitch sans kids when most if not all, are gone is unnerving.

Very odd! Keep safe.