Husbands sisters got her son to ask for a tablet

[faithfulbird20]

Like as though we're made out of money. Cos he's the uncle he'll get it. Our own kids don't have a tablet (no iPad or anything) both kids are aged 4 (her and mine)...I'm just so annoyed like AIBU? We're trying to save money. He works and I'm a stahm (baby is 8 months). I don't buy extravagant things...buy things dead cheap so that we can save for a deposit faster...whereas SIL spends her husbands cash here there and everywhere. Why can't they get their kid a tablet themselves?

Are you asian by any chance because this is the same kind of shit my sil pulls. Dh is the uncle, nephew's dad is his older brother. I've never met a more entitled child and he constantly asks for presents that are more expensive than what we would spend on our own children. I just laugh and say, ' I think that's a present you need to ask your parents for'. I say it on repeat. The fact that his parents don't tell him off annoys me, I would be embarrassed if my child behaved in the same way. The only goof thing is that in the last year my dh has started to see reason. I feel for you , it is a shit position to be in but you won't get anywhere until your dh grows some balls and realises that noone should come before his own kids.

Do you and DH have separate money?
How do you know that the SIL put DC up to it?

@FranklySonImTheGaffer

How do you know the sister told him to ask?

My niece is a similar age and in the space of the 3 hours I had her she asked me for a holiday, a park, some dolls, a game and house phone
No one told her to ask, the request just tumbled out of her either because she'd seen something, we were talking about something or just randomly.

Also, eldest nephew used to ask us for expensive stuff - he saw that we did different things with our money than his mum did (we have no dc and she has 3) and in his child logic assumed that made us rich (we're not).

I couldn't get worked up about this. Just a laugh and a no response is fine.

This made me laugh. Only because it sounds exactly like my DD. I blame the adverts, she generally watches TinyPop and literally every advert is for a toy of some sort. Every single advert she says "can I have that, can I have that" it used to really stress me out but now I just say "yeah sure" 😄 she's not getting any of them lol does that make me a terrible person? 😩 all jokes aside, she's only 3 atm so I can get away with it, don't think I'll find it so funny a few years from now

@MyDcAreMarvel

Amazon fires will be £30 next week, tablets don’t have to be expensive.

Ha, this is great, I'm getting one for DD and getting my iPad back from her 😄 thanks!

Excellent present for a 4 year old!

No 4 year old shouldn’t have their own personal tablet. If his mum wants him to have one then she buys it.

You can get one for about35 quid on eBay

Definitely not, CF, they may ask, it doesn't mean they get it. Tablets are not really appropriate gifts for 4 year old anyway. My kids were older (7 + 9) when they got theirs and I still regret DH buying them, they lost interest in reading and playing with other toys.

The problem is SIL doesn't talk to me, she'll tell her brother. But she'll talk to her brother and remind her kids to ask. How has your husband started to see reason?

@Sceptre86 I get what you mean. If they see anything my child has they want it. My daughter never asks anyone for anything.

@Outfoxedbyrabbits I do have a husband problem.

A four year old asking extended family for presents? At four years old my kids thought Santa brought everything that appeared under the tree Christmas morning.

For those saying ask Santa for it... please don't!!!!

Santa should 'give' small, inexpensive presents and leave the expensive ones to parents/family if they can afford it.

Otherwise you have kids comparing what they got from Santa and some thinking they have been naughty or whatever because little Johnny got an IPad but little Joey got pyjamas...

If you've worked for it, can afford it, take the credit for it and everyone's happy!!!

@Bwix

In this situation I would buy the child an etch-a-sketch.

Absolutely the best idea.

If you cannot afford it just bluntly say so. Don't be embarrassed. Tell you husband not to do it as you cannot afford it
I think most families get this problem sometimes. My sister (very well-off ) was always glibly suggesting very expensive or difficult to obtain presents for her darling children. I never asked her for suggestions for them, as a result, they got what I gave them. I usually gave them something for Xmas and birthdays until they were 18 or 21, latterly a card at least.

Incidentally, I cannot remember her giving anything to my kids ever for Xmas or birthdays. She was always mean and self-obsessed, but she is still my sister I get on well with her.

@me109f husband is terrible with money. He'd break an arm for his 'family'. Acting all depressed because I said no.

Just give her the money you would have spent on his Christmas gift and they can use it towards a tablet. Amazon do a basic one and it will probably be reduced in black Friday or Christmas sale. In fact they do a really great deal where they cover the tablet for 2 years and will replace it no questions asked within that time. He definitely doesn't need an iPad.

Why isn't he asking Santa?

If we bought the Amazon one for them they'd complain and say it's this that the other. The other things that bothers me if greed. If her kids see anything my kids have they want it and ask DH. They should ask their own dad.

If we send the iPad/tablet next year will be he's struggling with school...can u look for a cheap laptop? Then when he's a bit older...he'll need a car...or money towards uni...

[quote faithfulbird20]@me109f husband is terrible with money. He'd break an arm for his 'family'. Acting all depressed because I said no. [/quote]
Maybe he needs to see his GP if his thinking is so confused that he can't see that his family is his priority.

I feel sorry for you OP.

There is nothing less attractive than a weak man who puts others ahead of his wife and children.

OP I feel for you.
Out of interest, is your husband from a south east Asian culture, where there is a much greater emphasis on supporting extended family?

Did you manage to sort this OP? I agree with some of the responses about the amazon tablet. My 9, 5 and 3 year old have them and they are really good. If they dont like it tell them you will have it back and give it to your child. That's if £30 is within your budget.
I usually spend about £10 each on nieces, nephews and little brothers and sisters but that's because theres 10 lol! Hope you manage/managed to sort this x

No I didn't husband has been treating me like crap today. Had a blazing row today and told me he didn't want me or the kids. What a b*stard. I'll update later. He told me I had no right to tell him because it was his money and I don't earn. Telling me things like how do you feel living off my money etc etc.

Also told me he wouldn't give me anymore children. He's been picking useless arguments like not having nicknames for my 2nd child. He told my eldest dd off for calling dd2 by a nickname I use out of love.