To ask, what's the best piece of advice you've ever received?

[Stripey3000]

I'll start. Mine was in the form of a post on the Postsecret website years ago, where people make postcards, sharing secrets anonymously. This one jumped out at me as it simply said 'You get what you settle for.' For me at the time, those were the exact words I needed to hear. I was heading towardsthe end of a failing marriage (aged 30) and thinking about whether to stay with him or not. In that moment I chose not to settle for what had become an unhappy situation for the rest of my life. 10 years on and I still remember that as a pivotal moment, seeing the sentiment I needed to help me make my decision. I have no regrets 😊
So what advice have you received that stuck with you?

Three things from my late mother when it comes to sex.

1. If it doesn’t make you feel nice, stop doing it.

1. Your naked self is to be proud of, not to be ashamed of but beware “bad people.

1. Virginity is a male created sexist concept to try and control women. It is nothing to be ashamed of, or to proud of.

@StarlightLady

Three things from my late mother when it comes to sex.

1. If it doesn’t make you feel nice, stop doing it.

1. Your naked self is to be proud of, not to be ashamed of but beware “bad people.

1. Virginity is a male created sexist concept to try and control women. It is nothing to be ashamed of, or to proud of.

Your mum was great

@FrancescaContini - Thank you. Never controlling but always there for us. It was a different story if you didn’t do your homework though.

IcyBlonde15, I so wish I could really get this into my mind set. I have been spending a few hours today sorting out my clothes and Have found so many nice good quality linen trousers, tops, skirts and dresses I never wore all last summer. What did I wear? scruffy old stuff. The same as I am wearing right now. Why, because the feeling I am somehow showing off/attention seeking/ too up myself if I wear'good' stuff for everyday. It's such a waste and now I have put weight back on again and I am trying to make up my mind to get rid of stuff I have been hoarding for years. I have actually promised some stuff on Freegle so feel obliged to go through with it and get over my reluctance to let go. At least some others will get the use of them.

I am exactly the same. Loads of lovely stuff I never wear for the same reasons. I wear the same old shabby stuff all the time instead. Also loads of clothes in the loft I have got too fat for and and are hardly worn!

Better to be late in this life, than early in the next life

@Muttly

If, as the driver, you’re sitting in the middle of the road, then you’re driving on the correct side.

I genuinely cannot get this

If you're driving on a two way street, say one lane drives up and the other down. If you are then in a car (correct car for that country) driving either on the left or right side (as per custom of the country) you in the drivers seat will be driving in (right next to) the middle of the street if you are driving on the correct side of the street. The drivers side is always next to the middle of the street. The passengers side is next to the non-street (so the meadow or buildings or whatever but furthest from the middle of the street)

Thanks wombat.

Your not responsible for someone else's happiness

Very freeing.

Loads.
'reasons are for reasonable people' from this amazing blogger - advice on dealing with toxic family members.
captainawkward.com/

have enough emergency £ to leave a bad job / relationship / situation.

tell ppl to fuck off more if they deserve it (helen mirren)

have you actually told them this? (from advice blogger ask a manager)
www.askamanager.org/
or another version of that is 'Use your Words' - dan savage.
www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/14085.Dan_Savage
Dan has loads actually, like 'every relationship you are in will fail until one doesnt' and that 'just because a relationship came to an end it doesnt mean it was a failure.'

Campsite rule: leave things in as good or a better state than you found them.
donnie darko - 'no one ever knows what they want to be when they grow up, it takes a little while to figure that out.'

cheesy but from warren buffett:
"The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything."
I have found I have the most impact at work when I decide MY most urgent top 3 priorities and focus on getting them done, not on trying to make people happy and doing everything people ask me. (Better to do three things well then start and not finish ten things.)

I think some I want to pass on to others would be:
Dont 'save' things 'for best' - use and enjoy them.
Be your own best friend. Your relationship with yourself is the longest and most intense one you will have in life.
Listen to your gut, if a situation makes you feel scared and anxious get out even if it feels awkward (women are conditioned to 'be polite')
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gift_of_Fear

Im bumping this thread

From Einstein

Not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts.

(The limitations of data and analysis when dealing with humanity).