To ask, what's the best piece of advice you've ever received?

[Stripey3000]

I'll start. Mine was in the form of a post on the Postsecret website years ago, where people make postcards, sharing secrets anonymously. This one jumped out at me as it simply said 'You get what you settle for.' For me at the time, those were the exact words I needed to hear. I was heading towardsthe end of a failing marriage (aged 30) and thinking about whether to stay with him or not. In that moment I chose not to settle for what had become an unhappy situation for the rest of my life. 10 years on and I still remember that as a pivotal moment, seeing the sentiment I needed to help me make my decision. I have no regrets 😊
So what advice have you received that stuck with you?

@TheHateIsNotGood

Make up your own mind (thanks Dad).

Thats a great one, I still need to learn it!

Another one following on from a theme. This time, We're Going on a Bear Hunt

We can't go round it
We can't go over it
We have to go through it!

Never go to bed with your anger.

A couple from the empress of creativity, Julia Cameron - paraphrased:

'Some types of people will pour cold water on your endeavours by saying things like "Do you know what the ODDS are of having a screenplay accepted?" "Have you considered how unlikely the odds are?" - Well, the odds are a damn sight more favourable if you actually get on and write the screenplay.'

And on the inner critic: hers is now imagined as a camp English interior designer called Nigel. Her way of dealing with that voice is to mentally say "Nigel...Thanks for sharing."

Placemarking to read later

They won’t etch “She was a good worker” on your tombstone. But they will etch “She was a good friend” or sister, or mother, or person. Give your work place a fair day’s work but not your blood. If they want to get rid of you, loyalty is not reciprocated.

You will never lie in your deathbed and wish you'd cleaned more.

Df told me that to travel whilst I can (young before dc) he said its so hard after and he was right.
I'm so glad inspite of flights being killers in those days days ££ I managed to get to where I did because being able to tell my dc about enriches their lives and encourages them.

A friend noticed I was getting into fur habit of calling my three year old naughty. I never said it in front of her but... It's the attitude isn't it. He said... Parent word are so powerful what you say they think they are.
I immediately stopped and started doing to positive thing which was amazing...

My dad: 'Always ask yourself - do I care more about winning or not loosing this one?'

Keep your eyes open and your mouth shut.

My wee Granny always said ‘what other people think of you is none of your business’
To a natural people pleaser this is crucial, I remind myself of it so often to try and not worry and ease anxieties!

‘You have a brain, use it, and f*ck everyone else’
Thanks for that one dad

Also,

If it doesn’t feel right, then it’s not right.

Absolutely brilliant thread, thank you.

You can’t control other people’s actions, you can only control your own REactions.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Sometimes there are no good options, so you have to pick the least worst option.
And I like the serenity prayer.. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. (Still works if you’re not religious.)

Going into a new work place I was told: Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open - worked well

Not everyone is going to like you even if you are a nice / lovely person

Don't let emotions get the better of you

• You are the story you tell - if you talk yourself down, people will believe you. Talk positively about yourself and the rest will follow.
• Measure twice, cut once.
• Everyone is too caught up in their own worries to worry about you (advice from my mum on feeling self-conscious on my first day an university. Harsh, but very true)

That everything passes…bad and good…helps get things in perspective

Make sure you put the baby down (don’t hold on and cuddle too much or they won’t settle) and make noise around them, Hoover, put the tv on, talk normally.
Best advice my Mum gave me when DS was born. He’s always been a great sleeper.

This is really interesting to read. In a good way.
Probably - don’t be a slave to your house.

You can’t pour from an empty cup

You get the husband you deserve (I.e. what you think you deserve and settle for)

"When anything goes wrong, just accept is as part of your life's journey".

This has helped me tremendously. If you accept things you can't do anything about, it is so much better than getting bitter/angry/resentful or feeling hard done by. Just accept it and move on.

From my Grandma “it’s not what people think about you that you should worry about -it’s what they know!”

Some people won’t like you, but they are the wrong type of people. Keep doing good and stay in your own lane.

Don't trouble trouble til trouble troubles you

The word no is a complete sentence.

Put mardy kids in water.

Not drowning them, obviously
When my kids were babies and toddlers (and even now they're coming up to secondary age, quite often) if their moods were intolerable a few toys in the bath or paddling pool could save the day.

My 15 year old son had a tough day today. Two sayings came into my head, tomorrow is another day and don't sweat the small stuff. I kind of told him this.