To ask, what's the best piece of advice you've ever received?

[Stripey3000]

I'll start. Mine was in the form of a post on the Postsecret website years ago, where people make postcards, sharing secrets anonymously. This one jumped out at me as it simply said 'You get what you settle for.' For me at the time, those were the exact words I needed to hear. I was heading towardsthe end of a failing marriage (aged 30) and thinking about whether to stay with him or not. In that moment I chose not to settle for what had become an unhappy situation for the rest of my life. 10 years on and I still remember that as a pivotal moment, seeing the sentiment I needed to help me make my decision. I have no regrets 😊
So what advice have you received that stuck with you?

Smooth sea never made skilled sailor.

Always reminds me that even shit times make us stronger.

Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from.

If, as the driver, you’re sitting in the middle of the road, then you’re driving on the correct side.

Absolute gem of a piece of advice for someone who drives regularly on both sides of the Atlantic. Changed everything.

In our Year 11 leavers’ assembly when leaving secondary school to on to the sixth form (or as I did, a separate sixth form college.) Our Headteacher told us all intently that “if you don’t know where you’re going in life – that’s where you’ll end up.”

What he meant by that, I know, was that we should all set ourselves goals and make plans and think carefully about who and what we want to be. To take life seriously and not just coast.

And I’m not sure if it was conscious or subconscious, but I’ve taken it a different way. I’ve made a fruitful, enjoyable and goddamn awesome life by not having any plans or expectations, following things as they arise in front of me, saying “yes” to things because they sound like a good adventure (or at least a good story to tell afterwards) and just seeing where I end up. And I’ve ended up in an amazing place in both my career and my personal life – one far better and more enriching, and which has made me happier, wealthier, more successful and utterly surrounded by amazing people and things and opportunities, than if I’d ever decided at 16 / 18 / 21 (or any age) how I wanted my life to pan out and made goals to fit

I’m incredibly grateful to him to be honest. I’m the happiest person I know.

‘This won’t matter in a few days/weeks/months etc.’
Sounds simple but it helps me gain some perspective when I’m stressing over something small or trivial in the big scheme of things – mainly work stuff.

Also I found ‘you can only control your own behaviour, not how others react to it’ quite freeing as I used to get bogged down in what others thought of me.

There are no second go's at life. If you are on your deathbed and look back will you have any regrets? If so, make the changes you need to. It's never too late to make a change.

'It's OK not to be ok'

Look at actions, words are cheap and blow away with the wind (translated from Spanish)

Lots! I live my life by various little sayings and bits of advice I've been given, among them:

Do as you would be done by.
Don't bring me problems, bring me solutions.
Read the question!
You can't control what other people say and do, but you can control how you react.
Trust your instincts.
Things always seem worse at 3am.
Sleep on it (i.e. big decisions, emails you're not sure if you should send, etc)
Carpe diem.
On their deathbed, no one ever wishes they'd spent more time at the office.

Similar to @greencatblue. Nobody ever lies on their deathbed wishing they had worked more. DM told me this and I thought they were very wise words.

Ships are safest in the harbor, but that's not what they're built for.

Always tell the truth to your doctor!
So simple, but as someone who was brought up to put on a good front and bend the truth if necessary it was a revelation.

Trust yourself and stop worrying what other people, particularly people who don’t care about you, think.

And related:

If someone has been bitching about you, it means they’re paying attention to you, and it means that for 5 minutes they’re not bitching about someone else. People who bitch to you will bitch about you.

A PP has already mentioned the power of recognising you can only control your own behaviour, not others’

And, via work but also very helpful in my life generally

SUMO - 7 questions www.thesumoguy.com/portfolio/7-questions-s-u-m-o-cartoons/

The Four Agreements
www.thefouragreements.com/the-four-agreements/

My favourites:
Rome wasn't built in a day, but bits of it were ...
Perfect is the enemy of good.

Parent the child you have, not the one you wish you had.

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Similar sentiments attributed to lots of people, but I think I first read this said by Nelson Mandela. Genuinely changed my life.

Do what you want to do, however long it will take. The time will pass anyway.

I heard this about 7 years ago and I think about it all if the time. If I had started taking those steps to my dream job then I'd be doing it by now.
Of course its a shame money gets in the way. Time certainly passed though.

You can't change what someone else does, only your reaction to it.

@Chenga

If, as the driver, you’re sitting in the middle of the road, then you’re driving on the correct side.

Absolute gem of a piece of advice for someone who drives regularly on both sides of the Atlantic. Changed everything.

As long as you don't take your own car to Europe!

We can choose how we react.

Take the long view.
Being right doesn't always bring happiness.

Don’t dwell on anything sad or negative. Keep positive (paraphrased from DH who lost a close sibling too young).

I didn’t really learn it for myself until later from seeing this in him in practice and the effect his attitude has on everything he faces. He does well at everything , is never easily wound up by difficult things and has good self esteem

Just because you are struggling, it doesn’t mean you are failing. Also comparison is the thief of joy (nobody has the perfect life, no matter how it appears on social media).

Always be able to stop in the amount of road you can see in front of you. Very good advice, particularly on winding roads.