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Original poster

To ask, what's the best piece of advice you've ever received?

362 replies

Stripey3000 · 17/11/2021 12:26

I'll start. Mine was in the form of a post on the Postsecret website years ago, where people make postcards, sharing secrets anonymously. This one jumped out at me as it simply said 'You get what you settle for.' For me at the time, those were the exact words I needed to hear. I was heading towardsthe end of a failing marriage (aged 30) and thinking about whether to stay with him or not. In that moment I chose not to settle for what had become an unhappy situation for the rest of my life. 10 years on and I still remember that as a pivotal moment, seeing the sentiment I needed to help me make my decision. I have no regrets 😊
So what advice have you received that stuck with you?

OP posts:
Feduppluckingmychinhairs · 17/11/2021 20:25

Saw a quote that said "if it costs you your peace it's too expensive". At that second I realised what my marriage was doing to me. Also my late Grandmother "keep your head up even when your arse is trailing the ground". Try to remember that one on shitty days.

Odetomelancholy · 17/11/2021 20:45

Loving all of these and completely agree with the

When someone shows them who they are, believe them

CounsellorTroi · 17/11/2021 21:00

Something I read when struggling ttc (and ultimately failing): if God gives you that freedom, enjoy it. Not that I believe in God but it’s still good advice

Hugoslavia · 17/11/2021 21:14

That success is about achieving your own goals whatever they may be and that people who often appear to have it all, in terms of material wealth, have to work long hours/commute and make sacrifices that most of us wouldn't want to. I'm actually one of the most successful of my friends. I decided as a teenager that I was sick of studying every evening until 10-11pm and that, when I was older I wanted a 9-5pm, to watch TV in the evenings or meet up with friends after work and then become be a sahm. I chose a profession in the civil service that allowed a five year career break to raise a family. My husband and I renovated each flat that we lived in by ourselves in order to move up the property ladder and accrue some savings to allow me time out. We are careful with our outgoings, and moved a little further out of the city. A lot of friends tell me continually how lucky I am as they are so stressed pursuing their 'successful' careers (partners of law firms etc) whilst juggling family etc. I am lucky, but I had a plan and set out to achieve it. And I have achieved it. It doesn't matter what you set out to do in life, but you should measure your own success against the targets that you have set yourself and not against others. Everyone's targets will be different.

Hugoslavia · 17/11/2021 21:18

Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from.

if it costs you your peace it's too expensive

I love both of these!!

BlueThursday · 17/11/2021 21:19

Always buy a duvet one size bigger than the bed so you don’t fight over it

Hugoslavia · 17/11/2021 21:20

@Muttly

19:27Muttly

If, as the driver, you’re sitting in the middle of the road, then you’re driving on the correct side.

I genuinely cannot get this

I think that they are talking about the side of the car that you are sat in. The driver's side is always the closest to the centre of the road, whichever country you are in.

MintyGreenDream · 17/11/2021 21:25

This too shall pass

Theunamedcat · 17/11/2021 21:32

Doing the right thing doesn't always feel right

There is no such thing as doing the right thing for the wrong reasons either its right or its wrong

aquashiv · 17/11/2021 21:33

Listening to other people's advice is optional you don't have to agree.

ItsAllAboutTheLighting · 17/11/2021 21:34

"If it feels wrong, then it probably is"

This was the advice someone gave to his son when his son was about 12 and getting a bit more freedom.

I have taken heed of this advice myself many times since.
I'm really impulsive and make silly decisions even when my gut is screaming noooooo bad idea! Abort! Abort!

And every time what I'm about to do is wrong when I weigh things up.

I think it's an excellent bit of advice for those who are impulsive.

Gandalf456 · 17/11/2021 21:39

Growing old is a privilege (when worrying about age)
Look after them and they'll look after you (work)
Stay away from people who lower your self esteem

colouringindoors · 17/11/2021 21:42

For staying, in a world of pain:

"How do you eat an elephant?"

"One bite at a time".

hookiewookie29 · 17/11/2021 21:52

Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
My mantra on so many occasions over the last few years and it's very true.

WashableVelvet · 17/11/2021 21:59

The biggest career choice you’ll ever make is what husband you choose
And
‘Blossom where you’re planted’

@colouringindoors hugs, hope it eases some day

Dreamstosell · 17/11/2021 22:03

The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.

FirstLeftRightAtTheEnd · 17/11/2021 22:05

Honestly, it sounds quite pathetic but a quote from Harry Potter:
"Whats coming will come... and we'll meet it when it does"
I take it to mean, worrying won't do anything to change what is out of your control. Deal with reality as it arises, and try not to worry.

laloue · 17/11/2021 22:05

“Swallow your frog in the morning” … if you’ve got something crappy to do, get it out of the way and don’t let it ruin the rest of your day.

Will it still matter tomorrow ?

waltzingparrot · 17/11/2021 22:07

Your life will be the choices you make.

BunsOfAnarchy · 17/11/2021 22:09

Literally just now.
Just finished a call with Samaritans.
'You can't run several marathons in a day. You'd be exhausted and your body will shut down. It's the same with your mind. Space those marathons out.'

Its okay to take things slow. And sort through big life changes one at a time. Because there is still a finish line you'll get to. It won't disappear. It'll still be there and you will cross it. Just be proactive and work at it at your own pace. It's brilliant. Because in one day I've tried to get a job, sort a mortgage and a child's school admission and I've ended up so exhausted that my head is hurting and I'm in tears.

Those words have helped me so much.
Samaritans are just brilliant.

Cocomarine · 17/11/2021 22:13

Flowers for you @BunsOfAnarchy

Soopermum1 · 17/11/2021 22:15

The goal is not to win, it's to be happy (in relation to acrimonious divorce)

AnnaSW1 · 17/11/2021 22:19

To turn the pillow over to the cold side.

Also that learning to delay gratification is the key to a good life

Lovinglife45 · 17/11/2021 22:22

Loving these sayings!

The ones that resonate with me:

"If it costs you your peace, it is too expensive". This is why I decided to divorce stbxh after trying to reconcile. His infidelities, lying and years of deceit took away my peace. Nobody has a right to take your peace.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

Bells3032 · 17/11/2021 22:23

On the more serious side was a friend who asked me why I was always dumbing myself down in front of guys I liked. I had never even noticed I was doing it. It was then I realised I was always settling for guys who I didn't find intellectually stimulating but settled for anyway and was always afraid of showing my true intelligence (sorry if I sound arrogant here) for fear of intimidating them. 6 years later and I am happily married. If you ask my husband what he loves the most about me he will tell you my brain.

On a less serious note... To put your feet up on a stool whilst pooping. Absolute life changer