AIBU to remove DD from this childminder?

[Grabmygran]

DD is 14 months old. She gets all excited about fruit and yoghurt so I really don’t see any need to give her anything else sugary. I have told childminder this and she has continued to give her sweet things - e.g a donut, a lemon curd sandwich, a chocolate biscuit. There is always a reason such as ‘oh I didn’t think you’d mind as it was X’s birthday and all the other kids had one’. Every time I have repeated that she isn’t to have anything like that. It’s more the not listening to me that worries me than what she’s eaten. I’m well aware a bit of chocolate won’t harm her but she doesn’t need it! On her birthday she happily munched on some raspberries while the rest of us had her cake. I’ve sorted out a new childminder and she won’t be going back but have I overreacted?! Should I tell her why I have removed DD?

I understand you are not happy with the childminder as she should be following ur instructions. However, to sit in front of your own child eating her birthday cake whilst she had raspberries is very very odd A bit of cake won’t hurt her and how u could just do that in front of her is beyond me!!! Very bizarre 🙄🙄🙄

You ate your kids cake???? Seriously? Why even bother getting her one then? Btw I have seen this 'No sugar for as long as possible thing' play out SOOOOOO many times working with kids, even with my youngest sister, and man, when they finally realise they are in control of what they eat, a lot of kids will become so damned fussy and terrible around food!

@MummyMayo1988

I was ready to agree with you till I read; you gave your daughter raspberries and then ate her birthday cake for her?! Who does that?! How can you as a parent do that?! Completely baffled! Your allowed cake but she isn't? If I was present at your DD's birthday party and saw you doing this; I'd be incredulous! Why did you even get her a cake?

Did you miss the bit about her being a baby?

You should put her in nursery where cake is pretty much not available. However what was the point of a birthday cake if you ate it?! Did you even offer her a bit? I'm.rveruthing in moderation. Nothing is off limits apart from fizzy drinks and my 6 year old still chooses apples over cake often!

@WheelieBinPrincess

I’m sorry but now I can’t get over the image of her eating a bowl of raspberries while you all tuck into her birthday cake 😂

@WheelieBinPrincess me too 😂😂 poor kid.

If she was a good childminder and daughter was happy and settled I think you are unreasonable, surely moving a baby to another stranger is more detrimental than an odd sweet treat !

YANBU. My daughter is almost 3 and I've never added salt to any of her food. My mum thinks I'm being OTT but I disagree. Why would I willingly put salt into my child's body? I'm a bit more laid back about sugar I suppose and I can't say I would deny my child to have cake on her birthday but I absolutely understand where OP is coming from.

Yanbu, well done for moving her.

Her refusal to follow a clear (and reasonable!) instruction is worrying.

Not even bothering RTFT. My memory of my children's early care is marred by a few occasions when I did not remove my kids from minders/nurseries that I had a bad feeling about. Some possibly did no harm, some resulted in emotional harm to my kids. No biggie, they won't remember, but I do.
Basically never leave your kids with anyone that does not treat them the way you specifically want. The end.

I agree with the fact that she hasn’t listened to you. I also understand why you wouldn’t want to introduced sugar before it’s needed. What I don’t understand is why you wouldn’t give them their birthday cake but eat it in front of them. If it’s not needed maybe don’t get one at all? But that is my opinion

@Sorcha1205

YANBU. My daughter is almost 3 and I've never added salt to any of her food. My mum thinks I'm being OTT but I disagree. Why would I willingly put salt into my child's body? I'm a bit more laid back about sugar I suppose and I can't say I would deny my child to have cake on her birthday but I absolutely understand where OP is coming from.

You do need salt, but there's a bit of salt in food usually. It's the western diet i.e processed food we have has too much salt in it,

Not giving a one year old a piece of cake isn't really denying her a piece though.

@MrsFin

I think it's a bit mean to say your DD can't have a birthday treat when another child at the CM has a birthday. "Lemon curd tarts for everyone, but sorry grabmygran's daughter, you're not allowed. Have an apple"

This. Children get labelled for being different.

@ILoveShula sorry I meant added salt, of course I season my food as usual, just a bit less than I would for myself and DH.

Yes, a 1 year old doesn't even know what cake is I suppose lol

I rarely season anything, but if I want salty, I have salty. I don't have chips and crisps very often but when I do

I doubt that a bit of salt harms a child, but the amounts in modern food is so high. The amount of sugar in food is ridiculous, but artificial sweetener is horrible and probably a heck of a lot worse

Childminders are supposed to promote healthy eating so should not be giving sugary treats. The odd one on birthdays etc but not on a regular basis. She should also be following parents wishes, as long as not too disruptive to her setting
This should have been discussed and agreed at first meeting.

@ILoveShula to be honest I think it's because generally speaking, all purpose and anything similar, has salt content anyway so I feel like it's overkill adding regular salt on top of that. For DD anyway. I can admit that perhaps I'm guilty of googling too much.

Yes, unfortunately DH has a sweet tooth so whenever he's home, she will actually say "can I have something sweet?" 😄😩

@Quartz2208
Hi, tbh refined sugar is actually quite bad for you. It's empty calories that your body has to get rid of. Better a baby doesn't have them.
My DD's are now 24 and 27 and only had health store sweets once a week when we went shopping til they were about 4-6 yes old. They have both said to me quite recently: thank you for not letting us have shit sweets when we were small. Neither have food issues. Both have extremely healthy BMI's.
I sometimes can't believe the shit people hand to babies who haven't even noticed the sugar bomb before it was offered. It's weird.

[quote Maximum71]@Quartz2208
Hi, tbh refined sugar is actually quite bad for you. It's empty calories that your body has to get rid of. Better a baby doesn't have them.
My DD's are now 24 and 27 and only had health store sweets once a week when we went shopping til they were about 4-6 yes old. They have both said to me quite recently: thank you for not letting us have shit sweets when we were small. Neither have food issues. Both have extremely healthy BMI's.
I sometimes can't believe the shit people hand to babies who haven't even noticed the sugar bomb before it was offered. It's weird. [/quote]
I am not sure why you have linked me - because you had said that 4-6 you introduced it in moderation

LTB, @Sorcha1205, monkey see monkey do

@ILoveShula lol tell me about it 🤦‍♀️

I sometimes can't believe the shit people hand to babies who haven't even noticed the sugar bomb before it was offered.

Where I live, the number of obviously overweight children, and adults, is shocking.
I'm not talking about chubby little children about to put on a growth spurt.
Children, and adults, walking around shops or the town centre eating and drinking junk.

It is so sad.
It's not because of poverty - they are eating and drinking stuff that is more expensive than an apple and a bottle of tap water.

@Starcaller

I also don't get the 'she doesn't need' it argument. Neither do you or the rest of the family, but you were all quite merrily scoffing her cake!

Yep. Double standards. Just wait till they are at school and if your child is odd one out not getting sweets it would be a shame.

Yep, change the minder but…. At 14 months it is easy to keep them away from sugar. At 3 years old they go to parties and gorge on everything sweet because they aren’t allowed it at home. It’s finding a happy medium

I’ve heard this before where the family enjoy the cake that birthday boy/girl doesn’t get to eat..! I was hardcore anti-sugar/processed stuff with pfb so I did the opposite and made him a sugar free carrot cake (with lemon cannellini bean icing 🤣🤣🤣) for his first birthday and all the adults had to eat that! Seems only fair!

Anyway I digress.. childminder is being a CF. I hope you’ve tried telling her straight. And if she hasn’t listened then quite right to tell her to do one. Hope your daughter is happy at her new place.

YANBU. If she doesn’t listen to your wishes about diet, what else does she ignore? Bordering on stupid and ignorant. Surely everyone these days appreciates the benefits of a sensible diet for little ones?