AIBU to remove DD from this childminder?

[Grabmygran]

DD is 14 months old. She gets all excited about fruit and yoghurt so I really don’t see any need to give her anything else sugary. I have told childminder this and she has continued to give her sweet things - e.g a donut, a lemon curd sandwich, a chocolate biscuit. There is always a reason such as ‘oh I didn’t think you’d mind as it was X’s birthday and all the other kids had one’. Every time I have repeated that she isn’t to have anything like that. It’s more the not listening to me that worries me than what she’s eaten. I’m well aware a bit of chocolate won’t harm her but she doesn’t need it! On her birthday she happily munched on some raspberries while the rest of us had her cake. I’ve sorted out a new childminder and she won’t be going back but have I overreacted?! Should I tell her why I have removed DD?

Exactly this, @worriedatthemoment I have a professional duty to set an excellent example. We grow a lot and promote ground to fork, with the children joining in.

My high school boys love coco pops. I’m not anti treats, just don’t think they have any place in the diets of young children.

[quote worriedatthemoment]@Thehop but if the parent asks you to give coco pops why wouldn't you? Its the parents choice, if you agree in this case the childminder shouldn't as parents choice then works both ways and isn't your decision on wether someone else gives their child sugar
Do you not eat any sugary things at app either ? [/quote]
I do, however, completely see your point about me eating rubbish. I eat far too much and have real food issues which is perhaps why I’m a bit militant with my children and so committed to healthy eating with the ones I care for.

As this parent has done, it’s easy to see the approach of the childcare setting you choose and vote with your feet I guess!

@AwaAnBileYerHeid I stand by nasty. A child doesn't have to ask to be included before they are excluded from something.

If someone posted here that every child in a class was given a slice of cake except the birthday child, there'd be absolute carnage.

@girlmom21 calling the op nasty is ridiculous!! I think you might need to think about your apparent dependency on sweet foods to provide happiness! 😆
It's a BABY. Not a 5 year old in a class. As far as any of us are concerned when we are born we aren't aware of cake, we don't know if it's better or worse than other foods. OPs BABY was delighted with the raspberries.

Nasty is just ridiculous.

@notsurewhattheproblemis let's agree to disagree.

I'm not saying a baby should have cake. I'm saying it's nasty to specifically buy a cake for a baby, make a big deal of it, then let everyone sit around the baby eating it and not giving the baby a taste.

I don't care how old they are. Leaving someone out is nasty.

I think you are absolutely right.i never gave my baby/child any sweet stuff.gues what, she never missed it and when it comes to a choice,she very happily eats her fruits.She will never be in an endless cycle of sugar addiction and obesity.we simply dont have sugar in our household.when she is in another household,it is so natural for her to ask for a fruit as snack,rather than chocolate.

@Thehop healthy eating is all about moderation though , not banning certain foods, my nephew had certain foods banned and he is overweight and has no self control because food was made such an issue, so I think its all about just being sensible ,a 1 year old having a small taste of cake on a birthday is fine, my 2 did and actually neither of them eat birthday cake as they don't like it , it never turned them into sugar craving monsters, one tiny taste.
As the Op story unfolds it wasn't a conscious decision to not give her cake as such, just how it worked out.

Ooh someone has called me nasty. I wonder what nerve I have touched now?

Too early for more popcorn?

This thread is absolutely brilliant - it's got everything, even drug dealing!

OP - clearly your baby will grow up to be a bulimic drug dealer unless you give her rubbish to eat IMMEDIATELY

Meanwhile, in the real world, most parents don't give cake/biscuits to a baby - why would you? You'd not feed a baby a McDonald's either! I think a lot of posters have completely missed the fact that OP's DD is 14 months old!!

Nasty.
Setting your child up for ed or drug dealing

🤣🤣
People can be bonkers.

The DD wasn't even 14 months old when cakegate occurred
She was 12 months old

[quote worriedatthemoment]@Thehop healthy eating is all about moderation though , not banning certain foods, my nephew had certain foods banned and he is overweight and has no self control because food was made such an issue, so I think its all about just being sensible ,a 1 year old having a small taste of cake on a birthday is fine, my 2 did and actually neither of them eat birthday cake as they don't like it , it never turned them into sugar craving monsters, one tiny taste.
As the Op story unfolds it wasn't a conscious decision to not give her cake as such, just how it worked out.

[/quote]
This. I’m not saying that my way is the right way or that kids are harmed by small amounts of sugar.

For me, one of the easiest ways of keeping my children’s diets healthy is to not introduce unhealthy foods until they actively want to try them. It’s no effort and it works for us so why one earth not? Inevitably DD will see older DD eating those foods and want to try them earlier than older DD did .. and that’s fine with me.

@IncompleteSenten

Nasty. Setting your child up for ed or drug dealing

🤣🤣
People can be bonkers.

To be fair the drug dealer thing was from an anecdote one poster told - and we’ve clung onto it (mainly because of the comedy value)

There were quite a few (entirely serious) comments saying I was going to give my daughter an eating disorder though

I’m still disappointed nobody bit on the salt level in prawns though. We could have got another 10 pages out of that. Although somebody did just go there by mentioning Macdonalds…

I used to be really uptight about this sort of thing with my DDs. As soon as they hit 10/11 and were out and about on their own they went mad for sugar …. bought all sorts of shite. Much more than friends who’d had reasonable amounts of sugary treats all their lives 🤷🏼‍♀️

I've seen a few parents letting their young DC eat P*ingles walking when walking round the supermarket.

Should I speak to the parents and suggest that the salt level is too high for young children, or should I point the m to the cakes aisle?

Actually I didn’t know that prawns are high in salt! That’s really good to know. Sounds like it was a while ago the poster gave her 6mo prawn dumplings but might be useful for others to know not to do the same.

I have a friend who’s brother's dogsitter's aunt restricted processed foods for her 12 children until they were 18 MONTHS OLD ..when then they were finally allowed whatever everyone else was having.

Each of the younger ones had to sit and watch their elder siblings tuck into cake, chocolate, crisps, bags of sweets and cans of red bull for breakfast and they are sat there as babies, unable to talk to describe the trauma they are feeling watching their older siblings enjoying such a marvellous breakfast, that now as adults they are all sickly, fat, drug dealing bulimics due to not having the processed foods their older siblings had for those 18months. It’s tragic. 🤣

I agree on the whole. I may be OTT because of my own issues……I’m certain my parents made me the fatty I am and I’m desperate to fix things. it’s something I’ll have to think about, but touch wood my husband is more laid back so the kids seem quite well balanced so far.

I do think the childminder in the Op was lazy and fed rubbish though. Lemon curd sandwiches? I can see why OP was concerned and felt ignored.

@Cowpad its not just sugar that makes people overweight though ? And some fruits have high sugar so if consuming large amounts you also have to be careful

This thread is the gift that keeps on giving...

Nasty you OP! Buying a cake for guests at a party and eating it IN FRONT of your 12 month old! I hope you don't do this with other foods-curries, crisps, chocolate, msg fuelled Chinese takeaway, beer and alcohol? I hope all of this is offered to your child otherwise the poor love will feel left out....

@MsTSwift

As a late teen I nannied for some children who weren’t allowed sugar. They were thin and weedy and would have melt downs in the corner shops as they were desperate for sweets. One ended up a drug dealer despite them being a very upper middle class family.

That’s quite a stretch! Goodness me!

OP, don’t listen to the madness. Your DC is 14months old, still a baby.
I gave my DC a taste of cake on their first birthdays. They both gave a wth-is-this look and weren’t interested.

@MoneyConfused

OP, don’t listen to the madness. Your DC is 14months old, still a baby. I gave my DC a taste of cake on their first birthdays. They both gave a wth-is-this look and weren’t interested.

Thanks. I’ve absolutely no problem at all with not giving her cake/sweets right now (including flaunting a large cake in front of her and then not letting her have any ) and it’s not what I asked about in the OP but I’m enjoying the range of opinions here!

@BlusteringBoobies

This thread is the gift that keeps on giving...

Nasty you OP! Buying a cake for guests at a party and eating it IN FRONT of your 12 month old! I hope you don't do this with other foods-curries, crisps, chocolate, msg fuelled Chinese takeaway, beer and alcohol? I hope all of this is offered to your child otherwise the poor love will feel left out....

This and comments like it have made me realize just how PFB I was with mine, even though he did have cake on his birthday, because I followed the BLW principle of 'baby eats what you eat' to the extent that I didn't eat anything in front of him that I didn't share with him, which might be bonkers . I still wouldn't and he's 3 - if we get something like a takeaway it's while he's in bed - but then he'd be very vocal now about it if I tried!