I think if you bang the 'we're downplaying the holocaust' drum too hard - it silences people. It freezes people. Is that what you want? For us to be too scared to discuss?
I would absolutely like people to stop using the Holocaust to try to justify their views on this issue. Or any issue that is not, in fact, the Holocaust.
No one is forcing you to rely on the Holocaust to be able to discuss this issue. Discuss away. It’s a live issue, it should be discussed.
But comparing any choice-based discrimination to racial discrimination is problematic, on first principles. There is agency in the former that is absolutely lacking in the latter. Those choices might be incredibly uncomfortable and make life significantly worse, but conflating them with racial discrimination wipes away the total lack of agency for people to opt out from that discrimination.
But then you do get to questions of scale, and modern impact. On the Holocaust question, Holocaust denial and diminishment is an active component of modern antisemitism.
Who’s stopping you discussing this without talking about yellow stars and ghettoes? Are people saying ‘stop bitching, it’s not the Holocaust?’ Point me in their direction and I’ll tell them they’re being twats and the two aren’t even remotely comparable.
But in the meantime - why can’t this be discussed without bringing the Holocaust into it? If you’re concerned about people like me ‘freezing’ discussion by pointing out how it absolutely downplays the Nazi atrocities from their conception, there’s a real simple solution. Just don’t bloody do it. Don’t co-opt that tragedy for your argument, and the risk of anti-racists criticising the argument totally disappears.
And don’t do it with racial segregation in the South either. Though people don’t seem quite so quick to reach for that one. I can’t think why.