Ex dictating holiday dates - AIBU?

[GetSetJetSet]

Name changed as would prefer this post to be anonymous.

Curious to get other people's views on my current situation and what they'd do if they were me.

Separated from ex 5yrs ago. Do not have a good co-parenting relationship. Share one primary school aged child and communication is mainly through email.
Been through court for child contact and have had an order in place for 4yrs.

Court order states contact during school holidays is to be agreed at least 3months in advance. Ex has our child for 2 weeks during the summer holidays.

I've had an email telling me he's booked a week next summer abroad and that he hopes it's ok as it's the only time he can get a decent priced holiday and he wants our child to enjoy a summer holiday. Sounds reasonable enough but it's during the time I've always taken our little one away on holiday - historically he's always had the back end of the summer holidays for contact and I've had the beginning, and I usually have to remind him I need his dates so I can arrange childcare etc.

AIBU to say no, on the basis that he hasn't adhered to the court order? He hasn't agreed the dates with me before booking his holiday and actually our child will be enjoying a summer holiday with me across the same dates?

@BigYellowHat

YABU. He’s giving you plenty of notice.

🙄

@BigYellowHat and everyone else who said he's given lots of notice/ has followed the court order.
He hasn't.
OP has said dates should be agreed by both parties before any bookings are made. For whatever reason he's gone ahead and booked the holiday then told the OP it's a done deal. That's not giving her notice, it's getting in there quick to secure the most favourable date for himself.
OP has also said he always chooses his dates, which historically have been in late August, and she then books time off/childcare around his chosen dates.
I think her ex has been unreasonable, and from what the OP says this is not the first and probably won't be the last time he's U.
She has said he's a bully, and bully's like to get their own way.
If you let this go he'll see this as a green light and do it again.

@Ablemaybel cheers for picking on me 🙄 In her original post the OP said that the ex needed to give three months notice. This is more than three months.

@BigYellowHat I wasn't picking on you, sorry if it seemed that way.

I suggest you read the thread though, there have been several updates from the OP, and as I already said he's given her nil notice.... the holiday is already booked.

The court order says he has to give her 3 months notice of which dates he would like, then they mutually agree.

The OP can still say no to these dates, regardless of the booked holiday.

The holiday booking doesn’t break the court order. He’s booked at his own risk that she’ll agree to those dates.

He’s trying to force her to agree - but she doesn’t have to.

It’s not a breach of the court order.

It is selfish, manipulative and bloody annoying, that’s not disputed.

But now it’s a pick-your-battles moment and most people are saying that rationally, from the outside, unaffected by previous relationship issues and emotions, that this doesn’t seem like a battle worth dying in.