To think that going out drinking at 35+ isn't pathetic?

[CecilieRose]

I've seen quite a few posts on here lately basically implying that 'real grown ups' don't go out drinking/clubbing/to the pub/out late and I find it really irritating and patronising. What's with this idea that there's something immature about going out and having a good time?

I totally understand that people shouldn't be going out and getting smashed if they have young children to look after but what about childfree adults, and especially single ones? Are they just supposed to sit at home with a cup of tea because they're over some arbitrary cut-off age for having fun?

Before anyone implies it, no, I don't have a booze problem, but I do enjoy going out every other weekend or so, out for dinner and then onto a pub or bar, and often stay until closing. It hadn't occurred to me that being mid thirties, this would make me a tragic figure for some. There are plenty of people my age and older doing the same here in London so it's a bit baffling to think some people seem to consider it pathetic or immature. Why? If a grown adult has a good job and their life together, what on earth is wrong with going out at the weekend?

I would probably think anyone my age (40) carrying on like a nineteen year old being drunk and dancing at a club was immature

Why though? Why is it immature?

I’m with you OP! Love a boozy lunch especially! I don’t need to get drunk to have a good time but if a dinner/lunch/wedding/house party turns wild then great!

Ps I also love a quiet coffee and cake meet up too, just not all the time as it gets boring and repetitive, need to let my hair down every few months!

@bozzabollix

There are two things the joyless of Mumsnet condemn, booze and dogs.

Nothing wrong with having a good time, life is way too short not to.

No, but having a good time means different things to different people.

@Grayskelly

As most people get older our interests and priorities change. Social events revolve around conversation with people I know really well. I don't need or want overpriced drinks and earsplitting music to have fun. We sometimes go to the theatre or a live concert though. I would probably think anyone my age (40) carrying on like a nineteen year old being drunk and dancing at a club was immature, although I wouldn't actually care that much. It's hardly a criminal offence.

I really wish that social events didn't revolve around people we already know well but that does seem to be the case once people 'settle down' (awful expression). I think it is MORE important as you get older to spread your social wings and be open to wherever the night might take you. It prevents stagnation and confirmation bias. And yet another bloody conversation about our children's schools.

There's nothing wrong with going out and enjoying life in whichever way you choose, at any age.
Anyway I have quite a few colleagues in their 50s who party a Lot!

One thing this pandemic should have taught us is that life is too short.

I don't believe there's an afterlife so I believe you have to make the most of this life.

I'm in my 40s and go out drinking at least twice a month, I love a long walk followed by an early evening drink in a pub, followed by 3 or 4 more! Perfect Saturday for me

There is very much a difference though between going out to a pub for drinks and spilling out a nightclub pissed at 40 odd.

@authenticforgery

I'm 31 and I'd feel a bit silly in a nightclub now I think. I haven't been for years but I imagine they're full of 18-25 ish year olds? Out for dinner and then pub/bar drinks is normal though!

Nope. Why would all clubs be full of 18-25 years olds? I know some couples in their 60s who go clubbing together. They are brilliant.

@SagittariusDwarf that's nice... from my experience when I did go clubbing it was all young people. So I would feel silly in a club now.

I no longer work, but when I did works nights out would sometimes end up in a club and I did feel out of place - this was a few years back I was in my 50s. I don’t think this means I’m a boring old codger ready for the knackers yard.

Mid 60s, love having girls' nights out. Crawling into bed as the sun comes up, reminds me of the 70s Not every week as the pension won't stretch. Dp enjoys his nights out as well. Now the dc have left home who cares?

@SpinsForGin

I'm 40 and DH is 50 and we still love a night out drinking and dancing.

I totally understand that people shouldn't be going out and getting smashed if they have young children to look after but what about childfree adults, and especially single ones?

Why can't people with children go out drinking?

I literally wrote if they have children to look after. 'Look after' meaning the children are in their care.

@SpinsForGin

I would probably think anyone my age (40) carrying on like a nineteen year old being drunk and dancing at a club was immature

Why though? Why is it immature?

Nobody seems to be able to answer this. Interesting, isn't it? An adult having a few drinks and enjoying a dance is 'immature' or 'carrying on like a nineteen year old'. Why?

@Tal45

I remember going to a night club at 30, I have never felt so out of place in my life - and that was as someone who adored clubbing from 15 - 22 and went multiple times a week.

I think most people just grow out of wanting to go out and get drunk every weekend, I know I did. There are other things I'd rather spend my money on and do, I don't want a hangover and I'm not on the pull (which is pretty much what drinking revolved around when I was young). Now I'd rather travel, have new experiences and go out and see something new, I'm definitely not interested in sitting in with a cup of tea and doing nothing.

If you're having fun then go for it. Everyone's idea of fun is different, people are never all going to enjoy the same things.

This is alien to me. I go out in London and Brighton and there are people of all ages drinking and even clubbing. I know plenty of 40-somethings who regularly go to Fabric and places like that. I'm 36 and don't think I'm ever anywhere near the oldest person in a place.

The concept of clubs only being full of people under 21 sounds very 'small town' to me tbh.

@Undertheoldlindentree

Sorry, I do find the whole drinking culture a bit sad. One or two drinks seems adequate and seeing adults 'tipsy' feels like immature behaviour. Sorry, you did ask for different views!

I think it's very sad to think it's sad.

City/town centres are rammed full of older people anyway (a lot older than 30s people who are still young), especially through the day/evening.

I'm just over 35 and haven't been in a nightclub for a long time but go to gigs/pubs/bars. Plenty of people in their 50s and 60s doing the same.

@bozzabollix

There are two things the joyless of Mumsnet condemn, booze and dogs.

Nothing wrong with having a good time, life is way too short not to.

You forgot children playing happily in their gardens.

Yanbu, it's an attitude left over from when everyone was supposed to be settled down and 'sensible' by the time they were 30. These days a person might have been 'partying' for 20 years before they 'settle down, and you can't expect people to just drop it. Or indeed they may not settle down at all.

I'm 52 and go out out at least once a month to pubs and clubs. Sometimes with DP who is younger, sometimes with same age female friends and sometimes with adult DC and their friends. Often with all the above as a multi generational mix. Im not really a drinker, just love go dress up, and love dancing. My only rules for myself are:
Don't drink too much, as I can't handle it as I once could.
Only go to places where I know there will be a mix of ages, rather than the young person venues.
I don't think it makes me cool, but it certainly doesn't make me sad. Its just something I enjoy.

@CecilieRose - funny you mention Fabric :) My 41year old self was there on Sat!

I find older adults in clubs somewhat weird, but going out and getting pissed at bars, pubs or restaurants seems perfectly normal and quite fun?

I can’t be arsed most of the time but I don’t think it’s pathetic so long as it doesn’t get in the way of other responsibilities. I fully intend getting shitfaced on my Christmas night out with my friends next month and staggering in far too late.

Whaaaat!! No way. I'm 44 and my friends and I love a good night out. We tend to go to 'classier' places than when I was in my 20s like champagne bars etc. But we love a dance! And live music.

It sounds about as interesting as fishing or cycling for hours to me but you do you OP.