Girls having to say when they have their period

[Cliff1975]

My daughter is 13, year 8. On friday she got into trouble for answering a teacher back and arguing (agree totally out of order). However, it was over asking to go to the toilet in PE, 5 minutes after lunch (although it was after they had changed so can't have been 5 minutes. Anyway it all escalated out of proportion but my question is this, is it reasonable for a teacher to say that if agirl says it is her time of the month she will be allowed to go if not no. I mean why should they have to share this? Ho will the teacher know if they are being truthful anyway? My daughter, who is no shrinking violet was mortified that the teacher ended up shouting this with about 5 teachers present. I have told her not to answer back, argue etc but I have to admit part of me is proud of her. Some girls would be mortified being asked if it is the time of the month. Honest opinions please. I was a teacher myself for 20 years so I know kids try it on to get out of lesson but is that worth humiliating girls for who are genuine? I can't help thinking this is a power tri p for the teacher.

Yanbu. It doesn't matter if it was only 5 minites into the lesson. Maybe she was stretvhing/warming up and her tampon/pad started to become unsecured? Perhaps she had a sudden heavy gush. Perhaps she didn't have time to go at lunch because there was a queue for food/she had a lunch time activity to attend etc. Who knows? One of my friends had a miscarriage in a PE lesson at school. Can you imagine if the teacher hadn't let her go? You know what will really disrupt a lesson - even more than someone popping to the loo? The teacher making a song and dance about the situation and dragging other teachers into the debacle!

@claymodels i'm totally on the 'let kids use the loo when they need to' side. (X TA, i always let kids go to the loo when they asked).

But what Tittyfilarious81 has said is that there are some teachers who would always say no and the passes stop them being able to say no.

Personally i think the teachers who routinely refuse should be taken to task, rather than making the kids get a 'toilet pass' to get round them. But i guess it's step in the right direction?

Secondary school teacher and only this last year (following a thread on MN) did I start to think - hang on, it's not right to deny a teenager (or anyone) the right to go to the loo. Ten or 20 years ago I'd have told you that teenagers take the piss, that they arrange to meet their mates in the loo, that they're places where safeguarding can be an issue (bullying, sexual assaults, drug taking etc), and it's always the same kids who ask, who just want to get out of doing work and getting up to no good.

But now I think that the issue is that schools can't adequately protect children if they go to the toilet in the middle of the lesson. There are no staff to supervise because they're all in lessons. As a teacher I was used to not drinking so that I didn't have to go to the loo all day, or I'd have to hold it all day. With periods I spent time really worried I'd flooded, or stained the back of my clothes and it was really awkward and unhealthy at times.

[quote Laiste]**@claymodels i'm totally on the 'let kids use the loo when they need to' side. (X TA, i always let kids go to the loo when they asked).

But what Tittyfilarious81 has said is that there are some teachers who would always say no and the passes stop them being able to say no.

Personally i think the teachers who routinely refuse should be taken to task, rather than making the kids get a 'toilet pass' to get round them. But i guess it's step in the right direction?[/quote]

I know what they are saying, it just chips and changes a bit to suit. The pass is given to people who need it, the pass is given to anyone, the pass is given to those who need it - there is little consistency in the posts which are essentially defending the use of what seems to be a useless pass.

I don't think a pass is a step in the right direction at all, it's just another way to exercise control over children using the toilet, done at a different level.

@claymodels of course it has to be given to anyone who needs it can you imagine if it was just girls it's not chopping and changing it's just how it is and it's mostly girls who need it for periods

Pass by tutor is given to anyone who needs it . Teacher pass is given to anyone who is lucky enough to get the teacher to say yes

[quote Tittyfilarious81]@claymodels of course it has to be given to anyone who needs it can you imagine if it was just girls it's not chopping and changing it's just how it is and it's mostly girls who need it for periods[/quote]
I didn't differentiate between boys and girls. My issue is that you do not seem to know whether the pupil has to tell the tutor why they need a pass.

@Tittyfilarious81

Pass by tutor is given to anyone who needs it . Teacher pass is given to anyone who is lucky enough to get the teacher to say yes

Oh so now you have 2 kinds of pass

Goodness. There is no sense to be had here.

Teacher pass is given to anyone who is lucky enough to get the teacher to say yes

So they have to tell the teacher why they need it and plead their case, just to use the toilet? Or am I misunderstanding?

The reason i feel the pass is a step in the right direction is because it's introduction shows that someone in the school is taking notice of the fact that some teachers are routinely saying no and that that is wrong.

One would hope that they will eventually move on again, this time to a more progressive attitude which allows toilet breaks within a structure which stops piss taking by the few.

The pass would not be what i would want to see as an end game.

What i would like to see for starters is the teachers who routinely refuse permission being made to disclose their personal medical details to anyone who says they need to know and then sit in their own mess for a couple of hours.

@claymodels if you need a pass that lets you go without question it is a tutor pass. Every student who leaves a classroom must have the class teachers pass to say they have permission to be out of the lesson it's really not hard to understand eg girl starts period before school feels shitty so asks tutor can I have a day pass she's given it can go the toilet when she needs no questions. Boy needs the toilet asks teacher can he go gets lucky and he can he uses the class teacher pass to go it's really not hard to understand , you also need the teacher pass to leave the classroom if you a running an errand

@Tittyfilarious81

The only reason I am finding it hard to understand is your posts don't explain it very well. You have contradicted yourself and when that was pointed out you added in another pass. I don't even want to understand anymore.

@Laiste

The reason i feel the pass is a step in the right direction is because it's introduction shows that someone in the school is taking notice of the fact that some teachers are routinely saying no and that that is wrong.

One would hope that they will eventually move on again, this time to a more progressive attitude which allows toilet breaks within a structure which stops piss taking by the few.

The pass would not be what i would want to see as an end game.

What i would like to see for starters is the teachers who routinely refuse permission being made to disclose their personal medical details to anyone who says they need to know and then sit in their own mess for a couple of hours.

I do understand what you are saying, however a verbal 'let them go to the toilet if they ask' is every bit as understandable to an adult teacher as a pass is.

Let's be fair here
She should have gone during lunch

Also why are there so many pps talking about shame and it being "too personal" when it comes to disclosing your period.

Why tf is this still taboo and why are Daughters still raised like having your period is something you should hide and be ashamed of :(

@claymodels in our high school any pupil the needd to leave a classroom for any reason needss a teachers pass to show that they aren't out of lesson without permission . Tutor pass toilet without question

@Marvellousmadness

Let's be fair here She should have gone during lunch

Also why are there so many pps talking about shame and it being "too personal" when it comes to disclosing your period.

Why tf is this still taboo and why are Daughters still raised like having your period is something you should hide and be ashamed of :(

It's not taboo. It's absolutely wrong to lay the responsibility of normalising periods on the young teens in schools who are just learning about their own bodies themselves though.

@Marvellousmadness

Let's be fair here She should have gone during lunch

Also why are there so many pps talking about shame and it being "too personal" when it comes to disclosing your period.

Why tf is this still taboo and why are Daughters still raised like having your period is something you should hide and be ashamed of :(

In theory you’re right menstration should not be embarrassing or something to hide.

However the reality is that in our society is it something that has been made taboo, and it’s not unusual for girls to want to manage and deal with their menstration privately.

Most grown women I know wouldn’t want to have their blood leak on their trousers, or tell their boss in front of all colleagues they are having a heavy menstration so need to leave a meeting for the toilet, so why don’t girls get 5his same access to privacy.

It’s fab if people are unashamed of their menstration. You can’t force that on others though.

@Marvellousmadness

Let's be fair here She should have gone during lunch

Also why are there so many pps talking about shame and it being "too personal" when it comes to disclosing your period.

Why tf is this still taboo and why are Daughters still raised like having your period is something you should hide and be ashamed of :(

My DDs started their periods at 10. They would've been mortified to have to tell anyone this, not because it's 'taboo' but because it's on one else's damn business.

And with school lunch lasting 30 minutes in some schools, how do you expect hundreds of students to use the bathroom, buy and eat food in such a small window?

Also did you miss the part where her DDs period started IN LESSON not in the lunch break?

The problem is that schools need staffing levels that allow them to deal with any problems that arise, and they need parental support so that they can let Mary out to the toilet, but deny Molly her fifth trip when they know she’s meeting friends/smoking in there without that resulting in molly’s parents causing WWIII about it.

The short lunch breaks in schools are a major issue because of things like this. They’re causing so many problems for kids.

Well come to that, why should they have to explain they need the toilet. That's a private bodily function too, why should they be forced to disclose it? Maybe we should just have a system that kids can walk out of class without a word to save embarrassment? I'm sure there's no way that would be abused.

Of course she should be able to go the bathroom. If you need to go, you need to go. It's a bonkers power trip for a teacher to say no. If they take ages or use it as an excuse to skive a lesson, then deal with that.

No not lucky. I just go to the loo during breaks. It’s not rocket science.

You’ve obviously been lucky not to have flooded a pad within ten minutes of putting one on then.

Someone’s else’s heavy period means they can change every 2 hours or so,

Not the case for everyone

@Porcupineintherough

Well come to that, why should they have to explain they need the toilet. That's a private bodily function too, why should they be forced to disclose it? Maybe we should just have a system that kids can walk out of class without a word to save embarrassment? I'm sure there's no way that would be abused.

Bit ott. Surely “im need to use the bathroom” is enough information for the teacher and still allows for privacy.

Teachers don’t ask “do you need to defecate”.

@LittleGwyneth

Of course she should be able to go the bathroom. If you need to go, you need to go. It's a bonkers power trip for a teacher to say no. If they take ages or use it as an excuse to skive a lesson, then deal with that.

Exactly. There'll always be those who take the piss (excuse the pun), but teachers tend to know who the trouble makers/skivers are in their class anyway.