Girls having to say when they have their period

[Cliff1975]

My daughter is 13, year 8. On friday she got into trouble for answering a teacher back and arguing (agree totally out of order). However, it was over asking to go to the toilet in PE, 5 minutes after lunch (although it was after they had changed so can't have been 5 minutes. Anyway it all escalated out of proportion but my question is this, is it reasonable for a teacher to say that if agirl says it is her time of the month she will be allowed to go if not no. I mean why should they have to share this? Ho will the teacher know if they are being truthful anyway? My daughter, who is no shrinking violet was mortified that the teacher ended up shouting this with about 5 teachers present. I have told her not to answer back, argue etc but I have to admit part of me is proud of her. Some girls would be mortified being asked if it is the time of the month. Honest opinions please. I was a teacher myself for 20 years so I know kids try it on to get out of lesson but is that worth humiliating girls for who are genuine? I can't help thinking this is a power tri p for the teacher.

Going for a wee before a lesson seems like a pretty basic standard of life skills. Luckily most kids seem to have worked this out.

I worked in a school that had two loos for adults. One for the women, one for the men/disabled.

There were 40+ women to 5 men. Those breaks were fun...

@claymodels

Probably should be encouraging girls not to feel embarrassed about periods though.

You are struggling with the basics here, aren't you?

Not really.

@claymodels ask for pass in the morning go toilet no questions asked . Ask to go to toilet in lesson teacher decides if you can go so a gamble if they say Yes they give you their staff pass which says you have permission to be out of the classroom you come back give it back to teacher .

No not lucky. I just go to the loo during breaks. It’s not rocket science. I used to use 12 pads between 8.45 and 3.45 on my first day and often on my second - there weren't enough breaks.

No-one should have to explain that they have their period (or that they're menopausal, which seems to be the hot topic nowadays).

Pupils often wait until after the bell to go to the toilet so that they don't have to face the people hanging out in there. Any girl might want to have the toilets to herself while she deals with blood and sanitary protection. I often waited until everyone had gone - and I was the teacher.

[quote Tittyfilarious81]@claymodels ask for pass in the morning go toilet no questions asked . Ask to go to toilet in lesson teacher decides if you can go so a gamble if they say Yes they give you their staff pass which says you have permission to be out of the classroom you come back give it back to teacher .[/quote]

I know what you said. But it's meaningless because you also said they don't have to give a reason for asking for the pass in the first place. So anyone could have one.

I’ve been a secondary school teacher for 23 years and I have never refused to let someone go to the toilet. Occasionally, if I sense someone is trying it on, I might say “Ask me again in five minutes” and sometimes they don’t as they have forgotten (so didn’t really need to go) but to be honest I don’t even really mind if someone feels they need a few minutes away from the classroom. If I am in the middle of some vital info, I might ask them if they can wait until I am finished but, to be honest, students are usually pretty good at waiting until a less important moment in the lesson to ask. Obviously, if it happens regularly with a particular student (very rare) then I try to address the issue by talking to them after the lesson. Sometimes it can be a sign that something is worrying them. The way I see it, it is very difficult to learn effectively if you need the toilet and I want happy students who feel like they are in a purposeful, respectful environment.

@claymodels apologies what I meant is if a girl goes to her tutor in the morning and asks for a pass that day the teacher won't ask her which reason she needs it .

@Lavender1974

I’ve been a secondary school teacher for 23 years and I have never refused to let someone go to the toilet. Occasionally, if I sense someone is trying it on, I might say “Ask me again in five minutes” and sometimes they don’t as they have forgotten (so didn’t really need to go) but to be honest I don’t even really mind if someone feels they need a few minutes away from the classroom. If I am in the middle of some vital info, I might ask them if they can wait until I am finished but, to be honest, students are usually pretty good at waiting until a less important moment in the lesson to ask. Obviously, if it happens regularly with a particular student (very rare) then I try to address the issue by talking to them after the lesson. Sometimes it can be a sign that something is worrying them. The way I see it, it is very difficult to learn effectively if you need the toilet and I want happy students who feel like they are in a purposeful, respectful environment.

I had 1 teacher like you , he was lovely never refused just asked us to give him a few minutes if he was going over something really important sadly alot of the teachers are not like this now .

Absolutely not ok for a teacher to ask a student if they are menstrating, especially not loudly in front of others.

Yes I imagine managing access to toilets with a rowdy class of teenagers is difficult. However it doesn’t mean you can ask inappropriate personal questions. Shows a real lack of boundaries.

I would contact the school, if I were in your shoes.

This is a weird thread. Honestly OP, just get her some period pants, there are loads out there, I know you can't always predict but this problem is so avoidable.

@Lavender1974

I’ve been a secondary school teacher for 23 years and I have never refused to let someone go to the toilet. Occasionally, if I sense someone is trying it on, I might say “Ask me again in five minutes” and sometimes they don’t as they have forgotten (so didn’t really need to go) but to be honest I don’t even really mind if someone feels they need a few minutes away from the classroom. If I am in the middle of some vital info, I might ask them if they can wait until I am finished but, to be honest, students are usually pretty good at waiting until a less important moment in the lesson to ask. Obviously, if it happens regularly with a particular student (very rare) then I try to address the issue by talking to them after the lesson. Sometimes it can be a sign that something is worrying them. The way I see it, it is very difficult to learn effectively if you need the toilet and I want happy students who feel like they are in a purposeful, respectful environment.

What a fab response.

Not period related but my DD was refused permission to go to the toilet during "lessons" in reception She was 4.

She came home from school having wet herself a couple of times. (She had no additional needs and was quite fine at using the toilet at home) I asked what happened and she said she needed to go during the afternoon and asked but the TA said she should have gone at lunch time.
I queried it with the TA and she said that was right - they encourage them to go at lunch but they couldn't use the toilet after that which was cubicles in the classroom because if one went, they'd all want to go and it would be disruptive!
I was astounded given that at that age kids are very easily distracted and often don't notice they need a wee until 30 seconds before they about to wet themselves! I couldn't believe it was easier to let kids wet themselves and just sit in it for the afternoon, than just allow them use the toilet which was a few metres away in the actual classroom!!

@Fizbosshoes that is disgraceful. I’d be horrified if a child wet themselves because I refused them access to a toilet.

The way I see it, it is very difficult to learn effectively if you need the toilet and I want happy students who feel like they are in a purposeful, respectful environment.

I agree, and couldn't work somewhere that had a blanket refusal of using the toilet in lessons. One school I taught in locked the toilets during lesson times due to repeated vandalism. It was one of the reasons I quit that place.

If there's repeated vandalism then what other choice did they have

@Lavender1974 You sound like a lovely teacher, thank you for being understanding and thoughtful.

@Pippi1970

If there's repeated vandalism then what other choice did they have

All your responses are so bizarre Pippi1970.

Another choice would be not to lock the loos and find a way to deal with the vandalism issue.

[quote Tittyfilarious81]@claymodels apologies what I meant is if a girl goes to her tutor in the morning and asks for a pass that day the teacher won't ask her which reason she needs it .[/quote]

Tbh I don't think you know what you are saying at all...

in our secondary school the girls if they are on a period tell their tutor in the morning they need a toilet pass that day

you can also ask for a pass if you feel poorly

you can get them for other reasons

These comments indicate they have to tell the tutor why they need the pass

They don't have to tell the tutor though it's a simple case of saying you need a pass that day they don't ask why

This contradicts the above and now you say they do need to tell?

I have no idea what it is now but the idea that anyone needs a pas to use a toilet is ridiculous.

@Lavender1974

Thank you so very much

I get that it seems daft that you can get a pass without giving a reason. It makes the pass seems pointless.

However Tittyfilarious81 has said that the point of the passes is in fact to stop certain teachers saying no.

Awful really, that that is necessary.

If there's repeated vandalism then what other choice did they have

1. Actually deal with the behaviour problems across the school. Kids don't just decide to vandalise the toilets in isolation. They push boundaries and when they can get away with "low level" poor behaviour it escalates.
2. Ask teachers to keep a list of students let out of lessons so that the list of potential suspects is low.
3. Have a key available at the office for students with a real need.
4. Put CCTV in the toilet corridors so that they can identify suspects.

@Pippi1970

If there's repeated vandalism then what other choice did they have

Deal with the issue of vandalism by not punishing innocent pupils who need to use the facilities

I'm struggling to take you seriously at this point. Your posts on this thread display a real worrying attitude.

@claymodels You seem so annoyed about it but in the secondary school my children are in there is no issue with it if even 1 parent said I'm not happy about it they would say fine everyone asks and if told no tough ,they were brought in because parents were upset that their daughters were being refused the toilet when they were on a period .

[quote Tittyfilarious81]@claymodels You seem so annoyed about it but in the secondary school my children are in there is no issue with it if even 1 parent said I'm not happy about it they would say fine everyone asks and if told no tough ,they were brought in because parents were upset that their daughters were being refused the toilet when they were on a period .[/quote]

But if anyone can get a pass this makes no sense? Don't you see how contradictory your comments are? And now you say without a pass they may be told they can't go to the toilet?

I'm annoyed about passes in general, yes, because going to the toilet is a basic human right.