DH against flu vaccine - pregnant

[LaLaDe]

My DH doesn't want me to get the flu vaccine. Im 6 weeks pregnant and we were discussing it tonight; I indicated that I would be getting it and he called me a fucking idiot.

He said we shouldn't need vaccines because our bodies should be able to fight things themselves.
He had no medical or scientific background whatsoever.

This all started throughout lockdown/ covid. He believes the whole thing is about government control. He was NEVER anti-vax before this. I can kind of understand being wary about the covid vaccine during pregnancy, however, surely the flu jab is pretty standard and uncontroversial?

He watches Doctors and scientists on various platforms who have been "cancelled" by mainstream media. It's very difficult to have a conversation about this with him. If I say something he doesn't agree with, he'll get up and walk away.

Wwyd? Any advice? :(

You’ll never change him op.
People who fall for this utter tripe often have other issues at play.

I would consider leaving him, as he will probably insist his baby not have their regular immunisations and that would be a big issue for me as yes ur body ur choicrle but what about baby! Its awful my family have been sucked into anti vax rubbish and its caused some massive issues but they dont get to control me or my family

Get the vaccination! I had flu at 6 weeks pregnant in 2011 - it was horrific and along with pregnancy sickness it took me weeks to recover and I lost a 10lbs in weight in less than a week. I've had 4 more children since then and had the vaccination as soon as possible - it was just unlucky that in 2011 I feel pregnant during Xmas and caught flu pretty much straight away!!

@Cooperjay

Hi OP. I have similar issues with my DH and haven't had the covid vaccine as a result. It's complex and very stressful. Please feel free to message me if you would like to chat.

Why would you message her to chat if you haven’t even gotten the covid vaccine putting your child at risk of everything from premature birth to stillbirth and yourself at risk of death. What possible point is there to this conversation unless you just want to commiserate that you’re both having babies with idiots…. @Cooperjay

I also don't think hes thick hes been sucked into a cult and thats got nothing to do with intelligence , its about brainwashing

Just get it and don't tell him. Make it clear your baby is getting vaccinated.

Does he often call you names?

He sounds like an uneducated bore. How is that attractive as a partner and father? Eww.

Have either of you had the covid jab? I do hope that you won't let him talk you out of getting your baby jabbed with standard immunisations.

If your dp was in any way medically qualified or even reasonably intelligent and discerning in where he gets his information then he'd know that your immune system is designed to weaken in pregnancy (so it doesnt attack the foetus its hosting) leaving you particularly vulnerable to infection.

One of my neighbours died of swine flu a few years ago. She was 33, pregnant, she died, her baby died, leaving a husband and 3 year old daughter. Fucking tragedy.

Oh God.
It's not too late to leave him. He sounds like a fucking idiot and a controlling one at that. Dont spend your life with a knobhead.

Not cool at all. As per pp he can't make that decision for you.

I got flu when I was 7 weeks pregnant. I ended up I hospital with oxygen support and was limited in what drugs they could give me because of the pregnancy. It was awful, basically paracetamol only at the maximum spacing over 24 hours to stay in guidelines. Couldn't get my temperature down and it barely touched the muscle aches.

I'd had the flu shot and tolerated it just fine but was a couple of days after when exposed to flu via a colleague.

I wasn't going to have the flu jab when pregnant because I never bother usually, but my consultant told me that every winter they have a number of otherwise perfectly healthy pregnant young women admitted to intensive care with flu. There's no guarantee they or their babies will be ok. It's not how healthy you are, but if I understand it correctly, it's the way your immune system basically over reacts because of the pregnancy.

@LaLaDe

I'm definitely going to get the vaccine. I showed him some websites detailing how important the flu vaccine is for pregnant women.

He said there were no actual statistics or numbers - and the people who die have probably had other underlying conditions too.

Apparently I should just be eating more fruit and veg and that will help me.

I want to change his mind and bring him back to reality. For his own sake and for the baby - I'll be getting him/her vaccinated and I do not want an argument about every single one.

I am so frustrated. Everything I say or show him he has some comeback for. It's utterly draining.

He's a fucking imbecile.

The underlying condition they had that predisposed them to dying was being fucking pregnant.

Fruit and veg do not confer magical powers upon people to resist infections that have been killing people ever since people have existed.

Are you absolutely certain that you want to be tied to this fuckwit for the rest of your life when he's prepared to abuse you in order to get you to risk your life?

What a fool. Would he prefer you have a jab or end up on an ecmo machine?

Have it without telling him. Then no argument/repercussions. If you tell him, anything that happens to your child in the future will be "the fault of this jab". I mean what if your child starts talking later than average? Will he say it's the flu jab?

Does he realise that pregnancy has to suppress your immune system so that your body doesn't destroy the baby, thinking it's an invader?

And his good points are?

I bet he will try to stop your baby getting his/ her vaccinations too. What a prick.

@ImUninsultable

Oh God. It's not too late to leave him. He sounds like a fucking idiot and a controlling one at that. Dont spend your life with a knobhead.

This ^^

Does he get that pregnancy is an underlying medical condition that depresses your immune system, putting you at greater risk?

The stress caused by living with a science-denying twat can’t be great for your immune system either. I’m not sure a courgette or two will offset it.

In 2017 at just gone 12 weeks pregnant, after a great 12 week scan I got the flu. The worst flu I've ever had. At just gone 13 weeks I started bleeding. At 14.5 weeks I gave birth. I won't go into further details but it was the most traumatic event of my life. There was nothing with the tests after to show anything wrong with my baby. The only thing was that awful flu. My consultant felt that given how awful a flu it was it triggered the miscarriage. Please, please all women get vaccinated. Covid and the flu can be lethal and even if not lethal can make you very poorly indeed. The only reason I hadn't had my flu vaccination with that pregnancy (and I have with both my others) was just timing.

I would seriously be considering ending our relationship because I think fundamentally our views wouldn’t align.

I respect someone’s individual choice to have a vaccine or not. I do not respect people who roll out tripe like “our bodies should be able to fight it”, “eat more fruit and veg” or that “covid is a conspiracy theory”. It shows a complete lack of understanding of the situation and is hugely disrespectful to the many people who are seriously ill or sadly die with flu each year (and now Covid).

I wouldn’t be able to be with someone who thought he could tell me what I put in my body. I discussed the covid vaccine with my DH, not because he told me what to do but because I wanted to sound it out with him to help me understand the risks to me and the baby. If he thinks he can tell you not to get a vaccine, where does it end? Does he think you’re weak if you get an epidural? If you suffer birth injuries should your body just have been strong enough to birth a baby, as that is what our bodies are meant to do?

Can you get the flu vaccine at any time in pregnancy? I literally just got a positive test last week and was always planning on getting it but all these stories are making me think I should get it ASAP.

Speak to your Dr/midwife and make your own informed decision. Please do not listen to your 'D'H who is obviously an uneducated idiot in these matters

People have a bad cold and think they have flu, they haven’t! I’ve had it once and was completely floored, to have it in pregnancy is a huge risk

I had an ex who got flu every year and survived. He was an uneducated idiot in these matters as well

I'm married to one of these too @LaLaDe, it's very wearing

I just ignore him and do what I want. Also vaccinating DC isn't negotiable to me, I will do it unless he literally takes me to court to stop me and he knows that