DH against flu vaccine - pregnant

[LaLaDe]

My DH doesn't want me to get the flu vaccine. Im 6 weeks pregnant and we were discussing it tonight; I indicated that I would be getting it and he called me a fucking idiot.

He said we shouldn't need vaccines because our bodies should be able to fight things themselves.
He had no medical or scientific background whatsoever.

This all started throughout lockdown/ covid. He believes the whole thing is about government control. He was NEVER anti-vax before this. I can kind of understand being wary about the covid vaccine during pregnancy, however, surely the flu jab is pretty standard and uncontroversial?

He watches Doctors and scientists on various platforms who have been "cancelled" by mainstream media. It's very difficult to have a conversation about this with him. If I say something he doesn't agree with, he'll get up and walk away.

Wwyd? Any advice? :(

The good news is you could be divorced before the baby arrives.

The bad news is you’ll still be associated with this muppet

Have you thoroughly considered what having a child with this man will be like?

@DGFB

Pregnant women can get seriously ill with the flu. He’s the idiot. Myself and millions of other women have had the flu vaccine in pregnancy with no side effects. I’d just go and get the jab and not tell him… but I’d find his belief of utter nonsense on the internet quite worrying

^ This

Pregnant women have massively compromised immunity.

It's possible he just doesn't know this.
Have you told him?

If he thinks our bodies should be able to fight off illnesses naturally and vaccines are stupid he needs to Google "smallpox".

I would tell him to take a more active interest in the health of pregnant women, as a way of supporting you, and to find out some details about things he can do to help you with your pregnancy. He could start with not exposing you to viruses in your immunocompromised state.

"He said we shouldn't need vaccines because our bodies should be able to fight things themselves"

Well our bodies clearly don't do that else vaccines wouldn't have been invented, would they??

If anyone's a "fucking idiot" here, it's your husband, dear.

If you want it, then you have it. I’d be concerned having a partner who thinks he can tell you what you can and can’t do.

He was like this before you got pregnant, it’s too late now, but it may not have been the best decision having a child with a controlling man. I’d tell him how things are going to be, make sure he knows you’re serious and if he doesn’t accept it, get rid of him.

Hi OP. I have similar issues with my DH and haven't had the covid vaccine as a result. It's complex and very stressful. Please feel free to message me if you would like to chat.

I desperately hope you've had the covid vaccine. If not, get it as soon as possible.

Have the flu vaccine.
Have the COVID vaccine.
Consider losing the husband - especially if he's going to be a full blown antivaxxer who will oppose your baby being protected against serious illness and death.

It really isn't complex at all.

Firstly I wouldnt want anyone giving me their opinion without backing it up with some sort of science or logic or you know...facts.

Secondly it's not acceptable to call you a fucking idiot,even if you're being a fucking idipt (which isnt the case here). Ita abusive and shows he can't argue by getting his points across in a normal way, he will resort to name calling and acting like a dick if he thinks he is right, which is a horrible trait and shows a massive lack of respect

Lastly if his only argument is 'our bodies should be able to fight it off'...has he never heard of suppressed immune system in pregnancy?

I'm sorry I honestly would be reconsidering the pregnancy and and relationship. What are you going to do if you have the baby, and there is a measles outbreak in your area and he withdraws his consent for the vaccine? There is a 15% chance of lifelong complications and he thinks your little baby should take their chances with their future health because science is evil?

If

You don’t have to tell him if you have it.

Your biggest problem is he thinks it’s ok to call you a fucking idiot if you disagree with him. That’s not ok.

Yes some people are lucky enough to be able to fight it without having the jab and there are some that are not. Its an individual choice and he is absolutely out of order telling you not to have it if you want it. I wouldn't even tell him and get it done. What are his thoughts on the baby having all the important jabs are you going to have to go through difficultly with this too?

I couldn’t stay with a man of such limited intelligence, nor with one who presumed to tell me what to do with my own body. And certainly not with one who spoke to me like that.

Leave him.

What would I do?

I'd tell him never to call me a fucking idiot again, then I'd get the vaccine. Then I'd spend a lot of time considering whether I wanted to raise a child with a fool. Then I'd leave him.

Get the covid jab while you are at it. Too many pregnant women in serious condition or dying of covid now. The original advice against covid was becuase of lack of clinical date. They have it now. Get both jabs

Tell him you're getting it and the baby will be having all their vaccines when they're born too.

He said we shouldn't need vaccines because our bodies should be able to fight things themselves.

Tell that to the 5million dead...

He's an idiot

"He said we shouldn't need vaccines because our bodies should be able to fight things themselves."

Well if that was true, no one would ever die of any diseases would they?

Why are you listening to such rubbish? What do you think would happen if you went against his views and had the flu and Covid vaccines?

Poor choice for a father.
'Our bodies should be able to fight things' lol. Pregnant women are less able, they're immunocompromised during pregnancy. Ask him if he knows why and what that means.

Christ on a bike, if my DH had been at this nonsense since the start of the pandemic, his penis would have been nowhere near me since.

He has no rights over your body. And he mustn’t be allowed to interfere with your child’s vaccination schedule.

Carry on and have your vaccine. Then decide if you want to live like this, and make plans accordingly.

Get the vaccine. Consider your options.

How dare he call you names and try to deny you autonomy over your own body while pregnant? I find threads like this really antagonising, these men are awful human beings.

Can he read?
Then he reads this before opening his mouth again
www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/cold-and-flu-during-pregnancy

As a midwife I would advise all women to get the flu vaccine as your immune system is compromised during pregnancy (I'm also 25 weeks pregnant and had my flu vaccine a few weeks ago and my whooping cough vaccine last week so I also follow my own advice) is he also against you getting the whooping cough vaccine after 16 weeks? Our profession promotes autonomy over your own body so would never guilt nor pressure a woman to do anything she wasn't comfortable with but instead give the facts to enable her to make an informed choice. Do what you feel is best. That is just my input from both a professional/medical and personal viewpoint. Best of luck.

If our bodies fight off infections, ask him why millions die of infectious diseases each year.

@Cooperjay

Hi OP. I have similar issues with my DH and haven't had the covid vaccine as a result. It's complex and very stressful. Please feel free to message me if you would like to chat.

It may be stressful, but it's not complex. Your husband is controlling what you do with your body and you are allowing it.