Friend refusing to share bottle of spirit at party

[IreneSmith]

So, I want some opinions, who is right, me or my friend?

A group of friends get together for a party, we then move onto drinking games.

Now usually whenever anyone brings spirits or anything to a party (myself included) its for everyone to drink...at least I thought.

So, I start pouring the next drink to be used in the game when one of my friends grabs the bottle out of my hand forcefully (literally).

This one friend refused to allow her bottle of spirit to be used in drinking games, as according to her it was a gift to the host (another friend) and not for wasting in drinking games.

My issue it 3 fold:

1. It was outside on the main table and open, so I thought its fair for anyone to drink/use it. (If host wanted to keep it, they would have out it away)

1. It was a bottle of Jack Daniel...which imo is only good as a mixer or for drinking games. (I.e. it wasn't a proper whisky, brandy, cognac or fine wine)

1. It was very rude to just grab the bottle out of my hand forcefully. She could have let me finish pouring the drink, then explained how she felt and asked if we could use something else / another bottle going forward.

The host looked perplexed when this happened and didnt say anything, they didnt care either way / it got awkward.

Imo, I think my friend was being awkward and rude (the bottle grabbing really annoyed me). Am I wrong, is she wrong?

Fucking hell, there’s some real party animals on here tonight. It’s reasonable to assume that any booze that’s put out at a party is for the guests to help themselves to. And yes, JD is a bog standard mixing whiskey.

@CSJobseeker

If someone gives me something in my hand (i.e. a bottle) and its good, I might keep it safe, or if its normal leave it outside for everyone.

OP - Do you realise exactly how rude this reveals you to be? I guess not, but Mau be you should think about it.

No matter how shit the booze that's given, if it's given to me as a gift, it goes in the cupboard, not on the 'general party alcohol' table.

Bottle in hand doesn't equal gift though. Plenty of people hand things to the host to show that they brought something rather than quietly it out. I always ask, but the answer is usually that it's mine to do what I like with unless they brought multiple bottles.

Sometimes though I think people are just being polite on the basis that once given it's up to the receiver to decide what to do. I've had people upset that their £70 bottle of champagne shared wasn't appreciated. Ironically it's the same issue in this thread with the OP's friend thinking the JD was too expensive to waste on drinking games.

Which is why if an alcohol 'stands out' in my judgement and someone says I can do what I like I tend to keep it away.

Bottle in hand doesn't equal gift though. Plenty of people hand things to the host to show that they brought something rather than quietly it out.

Ah, see in my circles it does.

Bottle in hand, possibly accompanied by a card or in a fancy bag = gift for you. Normally they say "this is for you" as well.

Bottle for table - They normally say something like "I brought this as a contribution, shall I just pop it here?" While pointing at the booze table.

Different circles I guess.

Jack Daniels and drinking games

🤮🤮🤮

I'm so glad I'm past this shit.

Lol back at this thread because it’s so fascinating

At uni me and my mate were renowned for making the most deadly wash bowl cocktails, causing all our friends to get wasted and have the most appalling hangovers. (Just poor a couple of random spirits into a bowl then add two boxes of fruit juice and some lemonade)

Seems to have continued as myself and DP usually rock up to a party with a bottle of vodka and start offering shots. We barely drink in ‘real life’ only at the odd party.

We( as in my circle of friends and not just me ) don't take bottles + a gift to a party.
I usually take a case of beer and it's put with the rest of the drinks and that's it! Everyone else does the same with their drinks and host usually puts on a chilli and provides the soft drinks.

As for the friend inthe Op, everyone feels different I guess. I wouldn't have given it another thought. It wouldn't cross my mind if she was rude or awkward. Just her view on things.

Your friend was very strange. You don’t cling on to your own alcohol at parties. You bring a bottle or two and you share it.

Your friend might have been embarrassed that you felt her contribution to the evening was so shit that it was only fit for slugging down in a drinking game.

This thread! LMAO

Maybe your friend was drunk and genuinely thought the JD was a lovely gift and was standing up for the host, giving the host an out incase host didn’t want it used in that way? The fact that the host wasn’t like “omg do NOT worry we can play the game with it!” Suggests that the friend was actually in the right and the host didn’t want it used in that way? Your friend might have also loved JD and was looking forward to nursing it all evening rather than it being glugged down in a quick drinking game? If that was the case they should probably have let one round of drinking game happen and then been like “oh can we switch to tequila now? I’d love to save the JD for my delicious JD & Cola later”

I thought the rule was you come to the party with a drink and hand it to the host, and then they put in kitchen - and then if you’re a polite host you offer a drink and say, “we have XY & Z open, or would you prefer I open the bottle you bought?”

Blimey....I'm pushing sixty and I still love a boozy party game.

< Hides >

I just want to know where you can get Jack for £20 a litre?

@Diva66

I just want to know where you can get Jack for £20 a litre?

Asda. Right this second.

groceries.asda.com/product/american-whiskey/jack-daniels-old-no-7-tennessee-whiskey/6037087

Hi op, are you still drunk? It sounds like you all were and when drunk some of us get aggressive, some of us get depressed some of us get very stubborn in our rightness and opinions and some of us puke up.
Maybe knock drinking games on the head for a bit?!

If I had friends, was invited to a party, and brought the hosts a bottle of anything, I wouldn't start demanding how that should be drunk. Your friend was weird.

YABU playing drinking games if you’re out of your teens

@ParkheadParadise

We're you drinking it straight, it's been year's since I drank JD straight in a drinking game🍷🍷

When my friends come over and everyone pished we always make cocktails 🍹 or a fish bowl😂😂😂
Vodka, whisky, gin, Irn bru, tequila, wine and Bacardi and diet coke.
And get the music and karaoke on.💃💃💃
Your friend sounds a pain in the arse.

Nice username chick. 😉

Did the friend arrive, clutching her bottle, and tell the host "here's my donation, but I'm drinking it ALL myself"? Bloody hell! That's totally ridiculous. You do not, as an adult, go to a party with a bottle that you do not intend to share. Leave the expensive stuff at home, or share it.

There are, however, exceptions to this rule... I live in Fife. That kind of thing happens around here. But ONLY when it involves Buckfast. You can walk into a party and see many moody looking people lined up against the wall, cradling their own personal bottle of Bucky, glaring at every new person arriving: Even though this person is also guarding their own bottle of the stuff. Which, btw if you have never tried (please don't!) is ghastly, and tastes like old (as in off) v cheap sherry mixed with the roughest cough syrup found at the back of your gran's bathroom cupboard. You may think that sounds vile, It's worse. But wars can break out over it. I don't understand this any more than I understand the behaviour of a so-called adult at the bash you went to OP

@josbd

Did the friend arrive, clutching her bottle, and tell the host "here's my donation, but I'm drinking it ALL myself"? Bloody hell! That's totally ridiculous. You do not, as an adult, go to a party with a bottle that you do not intend to share. Leave the expensive stuff at home, or share it.

There are, however, exceptions to this rule... I live in Fife. That kind of thing happens around here. But ONLY when it involves Buckfast. You can walk into a party and see many moody looking people lined up against the wall, cradling their own personal bottle of Bucky, glaring at every new person arriving: Even though this person is also guarding their own bottle of the stuff. Which, btw if you have never tried (please don't!) is ghastly, and tastes like old (as in off) v cheap sherry mixed with the roughest cough syrup found at the back of your gran's bathroom cupboard. You may think that sounds vile, It's worse. But wars can break out over it. I don't understand this any more than I understand the behaviour of a so-called adult at the bash you went to OP

It's entirely normal to take your own bottle... that's why its called 'bring your OWN bottle' (and you bring your own specifically so you can drink what you like) I have yet to see a party invite that says 'bring a bottle for everyone'.

Do you go to parties expecting others to supply your alcohol?

Honestly, all the people who expect everyone else to bring alcohol for them to enjoy look cheap and tacky. If you are offered a drink it's a nice gesture not because you are automatically entitled to have it.

Most parties I've gone too have been BYOB and that's yours too drink why should the host and other people supply your booze?

@Americano75
My username is the best 😂💚😂
HH

If you were all drinking then perhaps I would just put your friends behaviour down to being a little bit drunk. Do they normally behave like that? I’d just let it go and avoid using bottles of JD in drinking games in future.
Personally, I wouldn’t use JD in a drinking game as I don’t consider it to be a cheap drink. Just be mindful that your version of “cheap” might be another persons version of “pricey”.

[quote ParkheadParadise]**@Americano75
My username is the best 😂💚😂
HH[/quote]
Hell yeah. 🍀🍀🍀🍀

Dear god. Erm this seems very very silly. Obviously you should have asked if it was ok.