Men in the female changing rooms!

[ewchoc]

I know this has been done to death, but I'm sat here waiting for my children to come out of their swimming lessons and getting increasingly annoyed at the number of men in the female changing rooms.

Tiny swimming pool attached to a school with two small changing rooms, clearly marked male and female. Every week there are at least one or two men who insist on bringing their daughters (all under 7) into the female side to change before & after lessons. It's just one open space, no cubicles or individual spaces, and my DD (9) is getting more and more anxious having to change in front of these full grown men!

Am I being precious or should I ask them to use the men's? Their attitude is that it's their daughters who are getting changed, so they can't take them into the male side with all the boys!

This is what I love about our leisure centre, one big changing room with cubicles. Then 2 small changing rooms female and male for those who don't fancy the family one, even some of the individual showers are in cubicles so no one sees anyone.

@Cordyceps

Just curious- what on earth to do transgender women have to do with any of this? Did I miss a post where someone said that any of these mothers, fathers, or children were trans?

I think maybe because on a previous thread, a woman said that her husband would go into the female changing rooms and if he was challenged, would (falsely) claim to be transgender so no one could stop him being there.

It's not appropriate at all.

There really needs to be something done across the country about this issue with changing facilities. I was never comfortable about sending 8 year old boys on their own into the gents either and it's not always the case that a same sex parent is available.

I was once told I was being v unreasonable for being annoyed that men in the boys changing rooms were standing on their phones because it just wasn't possible that they were filming naked boys right? The boys in question all being old enough to change themselves btw, he just didn't want to wait, he wanted to hurry his child up.

In your case DC should be in the room appropriate to the parent or go in by themselves.

There is a name for an adult male who think he has the right to stroll into a female changing room where a bunch of female children are getting undressed.

I don’t give a fuck what his excuse for doing that is, and I would be asking him very loudly why he is in a female changing room where 9 year old girls are getting undressed.

It is the father who needs to find a solution to his problem, and that solution should not involve availing himself of the female facilities and/or making female children uncomfortable.

Adults in the correct changing room for their sex, kids in the same changing room as their accompanying parent. It’s not complicated

Complain, complain, complain.
I'm sure they and their sons wouldn't be delighted if mothers were herding young boys into the men's changing room to help them change their.

Young girls is a men’s changing room is just as awkward imo. Dh used to really struggle with what to do as in the men’s they be parading around naked and doing naked press-ups that dh didn’t want our 5yo twins to see. He never felt he would be able to go in the women’s though. He spoke to the staff who gave him permission to use the disabled changing room. The other dads with girls were told to use the toilets as there were cubicles (dh couldn’t fit himself and 3 dc in a cubicle).

YANBU. Report them.

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My child swims twice a week all year round. We found wearing a two piece costume (rash vest and briefs useful) and these coats are great. Doesn’t solve the actual problem but so much easier as often we’d just pop on the coat and go home to our warm house and shower.

Presuming that as this is a school pool being hired for swimming lessons, in this case there will be no men doing naked lunges. If there is then that's a bigger problem

Swimcoats? Change them at home a d drive them there in it and pop it into suit and drive straight home? An option if it's all too tricky

Yes, Heaterstanhope has shared a link above ^^

Why don't fathers just ask the other men in the changing-room not to do naked push-ups and lunges when there are children about (both male and female children)? You rarely see women parading about without a stitch on in the women's when there are young children about.

I think we should move away from different sex changing rooms and toilet rooms with lots of cubicles. Start building new facilities with separate, roomy cubicles on the coridoor. Saves issues like this and everyone gets privacy.

www.amazon.co.uk/s?ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_2_3&crid=1D6Z7WCI6UTPD&sprefix=dry%2Caps%2C181&k=dryrobe&tag=mumsnetforu03-21

It's down to the management to arrange a suitable place for mixed-gender family changing. The women walking into the area where these fathers are have no warning and no choice; the men themselves have the choice of asking the centre to make suitable arrangements.

This happened to us. I told the dad he shouldn't be on there and he started to argue with me but then did take his daughter out.
He then took her to the boys side (there were no other dads only).
Otherwise I would have told the swim school.

This has made my blood boil OP

Go to reception complain. I did this a few years back when some idiot thought it was ok to FaceTime a man in the ladies changing room - with her phone propped on a shelf facing into the open plan changing area (next to the showers where women did wander around naked).

I was a bit startled to hear a man’s voice and yes he could see into the room because as I walked behind the woman I waved at him and he waved back.

I am at a complete loss as to how any female Or male over 8 can find themselves in the wrong changing room. And the mental gymnastics people use to justify it is amazing. And I'm sorry mixed cubicles are not the way forward.

Funny isn't it - they don't want their daughters exposed somehow to other men, but don't give a shit about yours or the other women in there.

Funny isn’t it - how there’s an entire thread of posters supposedly caring about girls not getting changed in front of men - unless it’s a girl they don’t know, then they couldn’t give a shit.

I absolutely agree that there shouldn't be a man in the women's changing room. But this guy is between a rock and a hard place. If he takes his little girl into the men's then he knows she will stick out like a sore thumb- there will probably be boys staring at her, and also possibly naked men that he doesn't want to expose her to. So from his point of view, it makes more sense to go in the ladies. He has of course failed to actually understand it from the women's point of view.

It's ridiculous that venues these days aren't set up for this exact scenario.

let's be clear that this is about a false perception of danger because a man in a changing room with his own child, with other adults around, is absolutely no threat to any of the other children in there. None whatsoever

Ah, so men who are with their children are no risk to anyone.
That's really helpful to know, thank you.

This is a school changing room for kids swimming lessons. There won't be any naked men in there.

Start screaming. He'll not do it twice.