To ask how I make her feel more secure

[Partnersworries]

NC for this as outing on several finance bits.

Partner and I have been together for nearly 2 years. Last year we bought a house; she owns 50% of the house with the exception of my substantial deposit (62k which I legally ringfenced as this came from inheritance pre our relationship).

I’m the main earner of the two of us, my salary is just north of 95k and hers 30k. As such we split the mortgage 50/50 (It’s a house we chose together, small 3 beds and affordable for both).

I pay 3/4 of the other bills and for joint holidays etc. I also pay for my dog as he’s an old boy and quite expensive in insurance etc

However, she has raised some concerns that she feels that there is big financial inequity between us and worries about being dependent upon me financially. I don’t see it that way, but I wouldn’t would I!

I also have about 80k in ISAs (stocks and shares and cash ISAs)

How do I make her feel more secure? I’ve suggested she reduces down her bills contribution to save more (to give her a financial buffer) but she still seems worried.

What do I do? Do I just give her a 3 month financial buffer? I could do this without much hardship TBH but worry it would make things feel even more inequitable.

I don’t want this to impact our relationship but am a bit of a loss on how to make her feel better about this without a)being a dick and b)keeping her happy

@Valeriane

"She has said it makes her feel better knowing that."

Really? I thought her concern was her inability to save?

Yeah now she knows she doesn't need to bother.

So now you have all of these replies from women about what would be deemed acceptable by many/most women, how are you going to deal the situation now?

What does she mean by she worries about being dependent upon me financially? She's not if you're both paying for the house. Your financial split sounds fair.

Talk to her. Ask her what she means. We don't know!

22 months is very early to marry. I wouldn't rush into that.

I think if a woman has posted this, they'd be getting very different replies. Don't rush to share all your assets with a woman you've only known for 22 months, I'd say. Protect yourself.

Just read your update. I'd be careful. It sounds as though she's a bit too keen on your money.

Didn't you discuss what you'd do about wills and the house if either of you died, so the other could pay off the mortgage??

Why can't she work harder to save instead of relying on you? How old is she?

Be careful, op. Seriously.

And I certainly wouldn't make her your main beneficiary after such a short time. Red flags...

OP knows exactly where they stand financially, you don't earn his/her salary and have investments to that degree by being financially naive.

OP has a financial adviser who should probably be fired

22 months is plenty to decide about marriage. My DH proposed to me (the first time) after 3 months. I said no because he was drunk at the time. He proposed again, sober, the next month and we've been happily married for 17.5 years now. Together 19.5 years.