Playdate étiquette - are dads automatically invited too?

[immersivereader]

I often organise a playdate at the park for the kids at the weekend. This is always with another mum from school.

A lot of the time, the dad comes along too. Even if it's with different families. I find it really odd? I would never expect DH to come with me to the park on a playdate with another woman.

What do you think? Is that the norm these days?

At the weekend lots of people spend time as a family, both dads and mums? I suppose my perspective would why is it assumed dad isn't included? Is the playdate for the children or is it really more of an arrangement for you to socialise with the mum?

Yes I would assume dad is invited- why wouldn't he be? In fact if it's a play date for the kids then he could take the kid without mum surely?

It’s not that odd is it, if it’s over the weekend?

I’m sure the women don’t expect their husbands to come along. Maybe they just want to - it’s the weekend, and they’re out and about together anyway?

I agree with PP, weekends are family time for many people. Dad might not see the DC much during the week, want to spend time with them at weekends and enjoy getting to know their friends and parents.

At the park at the weekend yes I’d expect dads. Some don’t see their dc much through the week.

At the weekend in the park, I wouldn't be surprised if dad came too.
After school, in your own home, may be less so.

Ehhh I don't know. If I arranged something with another person then I'd assume it would just be them unless they said otherwise. Don't think I'd be overly bothered but it does change the dynamic a bit for sure.

It is the weekend and therefore (being stereotypical) Dad (and likely mum) have been working all week and not seen much of their children who no doubt were at school Monday to Friday so yes of course dad probably wanted to spend time with his children.

Personally how nice for the Dad and children to have that time together with mum at the park with other families too.

Weekend meet up in the park then I wouldn't be surprised if the whole family came.

I think it's weird and if you had invited me it wouldn't have occurred to me to invite dh.

But then I arrange 'playdates' as a chance to see my friends and have a chat, not just for DD. I don't really organise them with people I don't want to spend time with.

So you organise for several kids from several different families to meet in the park of a weekend so the kids can play? If I was invited to that either me or DH would go. We might both go if we were feeling enthusiastic! 🤣

Also I love it if DH comes to kid stuff if one of my friends is going to be there. Means I can have coffee and a good old catch up and he'll run about after the kids!

This is going back years but I met a very nice mum with a DS the same age as my DS ... I thought we would all get on so I arranged a play date - the Dad came with the DS but the mum didn't, he was perfectly pleasant but I did find it rather odd ...

The weekend is family time, so yes I would always assume a partner is invited.

I think you are being unreasonable and sexist.

I don't get this obsession with "family time". Doesn't mean we're all joined at the hip all weekend. Honestly if I said to dh, I'm meeting Jane in the park with the kids, do you want to come? He'd be totally and wouldn't come along

@Comedycook

I think it's weird and if you had invited me it wouldn't have occurred to me to invite dh.

Neither, if it was a play date at either of our houses.

At the park though, over the weekend? Then maybe DH might come along. Or, at least, I wouldn’t find it odd if someone else’s DH came along.

DH has never been to a playdate with dd.
He has done plenty of drop-offs at parties but never went on a playdate😂

I'm confused by the concept of "often organising playdates in the park at the weekend"

How old are the dc ?

V odd- I have a mum friend whose DH comes to every bloody thing, tbh it stops be making impromptu play date plans. Not everything is a family day out- sometimes it is just lets ware out the kids for 1hr.

I hd a friend who often brought dh along while mine worked weekends, it changed the dynamic of the day so I stopped meeting her on weekends and just did after school. I wouldn't have minded if we both had whole family there

Is this for the kids or the adults?
Playdate suggests kids to me so either parent would go... for adults we would arrange to meet for coffee and make it somewhere child suitable if necessary.

I presume that play dates are for the kids to play together. So it would be whichever parent was available willing to sit through it who would attend.

If you wanna catch up with the mums, organise something without the kids.

Depends on the specific dynamic I think. If you and another mum are really good friends and have arranged to meet for coffee, and take the kids to the playground then I’d agree it’s a little odd for a partner to come.
But if it’s more kid focused, and the adults socialising is just sort of incidental, then I’d say it’s more normal for dads to come. Why shouldn’t they.