To ask if it’s common these day to live at home

[Liketheappthatdidnt]

At 27

@Snoozer11 I wasn’t actually sure why you mentioned my husband. I’ve just realised it’s because you asked me how attractive I am.

You aren’t suggesting only attractive people get married are you?

I went to university in the early 2000s and never went back home as did most of my friends.

There still must be decent percentage of young adults renting who have decided to move away from their home town aren't there? My children are young but I'd like them to look for jobs they want, not just because they're close to where we live.

I also think not all renting is a waste. We lived in 4 or 5 different towns before we bought a house, we moved for work. We couldn't have bought and sold every time. We also got to live in properties we would never have bought too which was nice (city centre apartment, converted barn etc)

I think it's very common to move back home around that age, and save like mad for a year or two for a deposit. That's what I did, moved out for uni at 18, worked abroad for a year, then in a house share and with a boyfriend.

Ended up moving back home very suddenly at 27 when my relationship ended and saved like mad for 2 years to get a deposit.

As long as everyone is happy and there is a plan to move out eventually I don't think it's too much of a problem. Not many 27 year olds want to live at home by choice.

I went to university in the early 2000s and never went back home as did most of my friends.

That was totally normal in my social circle too. One person went back after university to set up a business in their home town and still lives there married to a local. Most of us moved around a lot and lived overseas in our early careers.

I'm always bemused by comments about people having to live with their parents to avoid spending thousands per month on rent - I moved out at 18 and lived in houseshares, never spent any more than £350-£400 per month (including when I lived in London) and was still able to save money each month even as a student/minimum wage earner. Worked my way up in my career and now have a sizeable house deposit.

I think that it can be financially sensible to stay with parents to save up a deposit but it's not strictly necessary. Aside from cases where people struggle with physical and mental health issues, I do think it suggests someone hasn't fully matured or isn't as independent or driven.

To echo a pp, I wouldn't date someone who had never left home by 27. I'd expect they would have missed out on a lot of learning about independence, housekeeping and financial management.

I have two siblings that age. One just moved out, buying a house with their partner. The other still at home though spends at least half the week with their partner (who also still lives at home - their parent relies on their income to cover the rent). I think it’s approaching the limit of “acceptability” but they’re in the south east and as much as my parents will help them out with deposits they still need significantly more savings than I needed living elsewhere in the country.

I disagree about the "rent money is wasted money". Renting gives you independence and flexibility. I didn't have the option living at home as an adult but even if I did, I would have hated it. Independence was everything to me, can't imagine leading my own adult life when my DP sleep in the next room.

I dated a lot throughout my 20's and never met a guy who still lived with his parents.

I never spent "thousands" a month either, all my houseshares in London were £250-£400 per month. But I was quite canny at finding the really cheap places . They of course weren't in trendy parts, most in zone 4 and not near a tube. But hadn't I done the housesharing in my 20's, I feel like I would have really missed out. I met so many different kind of people, some were loons, some have become friends for life. I also had a chance to live in some interesting properties which I would have never been able to buy.

It may be sensible and comfortable to stay at home but IMO young people do miss out.

I think it's more common now as young people save for a down payment. I left young to study and never really went back. My DS is always welcome.

@MapleMay11

I went to university in the early 2000s and never went back home as did most of my friends.

That was totally normal in my social circle too. One person went back after university to set up a business in their home town and still lives there married to a local. Most of us moved around a lot and lived overseas in our early careers.

Yes, that’s another aspect of why moving home for an extended period is not a good thing in terms of maturity, independence, freedom, and psychological adulthood — you have to restrict yourself in terms of jobs, friendships etc to the place you grew up and its vicinity, at a time in your life that’s generally the best opportunity you’ll ever have to be able to live, work and travel anywhere without ties and dependants.

@iwishiwasafish - I was in my mid twenties then, and in 1994 alone I went to 12 weddings. The average age for a first marriage among my friends and family was 24. That's not counting the many who cohabited and bought houses together.

I guess it depends on your area, class, etc etc. Looking at the national average, it was 30 back then.

My granny married in 1928 aged about 30. May parents were younger butt put off babies for about 10 years into their 30s so my father could first qualify as a doctor and then psychiatrist whilst my mother worked full time as a teacher so they could buy a house. I unusually married at 21 but my husband was 7 years older and already owned a house and I was already finished a first degree in law and then post grad. law exams and was about to start my first law job. Those of my children who are married married in 20s or 30s and had their first child in their early 30s, My father's father did not have my father until he was 49 as again even back in the 1920s it was so expensive to buy a house and keep a family!

In general since about 1950 this family has bought a property (where they were ever able to buy) and bought it with two full time professional wages and before babies arrive. Those seem to be the core reasons for ability to buy - that both int he couple work full time and in professional jobs and the first property is bought before a baby comes. Buy before you breed and ideally in my view buy a freehold house even if you have a long commute.

I lived at home until I was almost 26.

My younger brothers were 27 and 23 when they moved out.

@julieca

Interesting redwingboots. I do not come from a well off family. My young adult relatives have jobs like working in Amazon warehouse. They all live independently by their early twenties.

In many areas, working minimum wage jobs (and being single) means you can only afford a flat-share.

It generally makes more financial sense to stay home, pay nominal rent to your parents and save for a deposit than it does to waste most of your income on rent.

To add to my previous comment - I have four children and they are welcome to live here as long as they want, as long as they pull their weight. I don't want them to have to leave when they're 20 to live in a dingy house share. I'd rather them be safe and comfortable at home.

@UglyModernWindows how old are you? As most of those areas with cheap houseshares aren't now not cheap.

I lived in them and so did lots of my social circle particular those who weren't British. There were some interesting properties available and they weren't all slums.

@maddiemookins16mum

There’ll be people piling on here saying that because of house/rent costs young people have no choice etc, frankly I think it’s odd and can’t imagine wanting to be living with parents at that age. I can understand a few years after Uni etc, but at 27? Nope.

Where do you live? How much is average rental? You won't find much for less than 1800 pm around here for a 1 bed

I've just checked and ds could get a house share, including bills for £595 pcm. Food and travel on top. That's over a third of his salary. Why do that,when he pays £200 a month at home? Furthermore, he is not sure where hiss career will take him, so why tie you self down with a rental contract?

@icedcoffees sure they rent, just like I did. Parents subsidising adult children is only possible in better off families.