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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell dd to save her "lunch" money

182 replies

grecianurn82 · 13/11/2021 11:56

My 15 year old gets 20 euro a week for money for lunch. She buys a roll and a drink every day which costs 4 euro a day. Then at weekends she's usually looking for another 10 to go out with her friends. Aibu to tell her she needs to save her money during the week and bring lunch from home a couple of days?? Her dad (we're separated) is trying to tell me I'm being unfair and apparently the maintenance he gives me is for this. I think 30 a week is a ridiculous amount to be giving a teenager..Aibu??

OP posts:
JurgensCakeBaby · 13/11/2021 11:58

It's not thirty euros a week though, most of that is for her lunch which shouldn't come out of her pocket money. If she spends 4 euros a day give her 4 euros a day. Then give her her pocket money separately

WhoWants2Know · 13/11/2021 11:58

It doesn't sound tremendously extravagant to me. Can she do some jobs around the house to earn pocket money?

Toomanyradishes · 13/11/2021 11:59

Does she get pocket money/an allowance, thats where her spending money should come from, not her lunch money. That said if you need to save money from somewhere to give her an allowance packed lunches seem reasonable

Viviennemary · 13/11/2021 11:59

Its a very small amount indeed for somebody of her age.

redtshirt50 · 13/11/2021 12:01

Separate the lunch and the pocket money.

Give her an amount and say it’s pocket money for the week - then it’s up to you if you want to carry on giving her €4 for lunch or not everyday. Maybe twice a week she can buy lunch and the rest she should bring it from home?

Then if she’s runs out before the weekend she can’t blame the fact she needed to buy lunch.

She’ll be able to get a job soon and then she can buy lunch everyday if she wants.

Toomanyradishes · 13/11/2021 12:01

Your attitude does seem kind of wierd though, yiu arent giving her 30 euros, you are giving her 10 euros and providing her lunch, the lunch part is a pretty fundamental part of being a parent

TotallySuper · 13/11/2021 12:03

YABU you're only giving her €10 a week. Her dad has a point.

starcocoon · 13/11/2021 12:03

10 euros a week for a 15 year old is not much at all. Give her a pack lunch and give her 30 euros a week.

Pedalpushers · 13/11/2021 12:05

Well, minus the lunch cost it's 14 euros a week, which isn't a huge amount at all especially for a 15 year old? If she didn't ask for this would you not give her any spending money except for lunch costs?

ANameChangeAgain · 13/11/2021 12:06

Agree with all of the above, lunch money isn't pocket money. I also think its dangerous to tell a teenage girl she has the choice between eating lunch at school or using her money to socialise. My dc have always had to work for their pocket money - cleaning, moving the lawn etc.

NeedsCharging · 13/11/2021 12:07

YABU if DDs pocket money is what you give her to buy lunch.

I pay for my DCs lunches and give pocket money separately I think most parents see feeding their child as their responsibility.

Does her dad give her pocket money or does he just pay CM?

VividGemini · 13/11/2021 12:07

What's she supposed to forgo to save money on lunch? The roll or the drink?

Agree with others that you and her dad need to sort her lunches out, pocket money is separate.

Cheerbear23 · 13/11/2021 12:08

Lunch money is different to general spending money IMO. If you can’t give her more, get her to take a packed lunch and drink a few days and then she can save the money for weekend??

VividGemini · 13/11/2021 12:09

@Pedalpushers

Well, minus the lunch cost it's 14 euros a week, which isn't a huge amount at all especially for a 15 year old? If she didn't ask for this would you not give her any spending money except for lunch costs?
Where are you getting the €14 euros from?

€4 x 5 days = €20

mycatisannoying · 13/11/2021 12:09

YABU.
If I didn't want my 15 year old to spend money on food at school, I'd make her packed lunches myself. She's my child!

Notimeforaname · 13/11/2021 12:10

That's not a lot.

I was 15 in 2002 and got my lunch separate from the 20 euros I got on a friday...to enjoy the weekend with.

Original poster
grecianurn82 · 13/11/2021 12:10

Thanks for the opinions, its just more than her friends get, most of them bring lunch in and then get 10/20 pocket money. I'm obviously not asking her to choose between having money for food and spending money, i always buy food for lunches with the weekly shop as the younger kids bring packed lunches.

OP posts:
Chilesstanton · 13/11/2021 12:10
Confused
Notimeforaname · 13/11/2021 12:11

Make her lunch for her. Give her the 20 for weekends..

Original poster
grecianurn82 · 13/11/2021 12:11

Prior to this year she was getting 20 a week pocket money and bringing lunch from home every day.

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 13/11/2021 12:12

Well that's the better option..

flapjackfairy · 13/11/2021 12:13

A roll and a drink isn't much anyway for a full day at school.

SprogletsMum · 13/11/2021 12:13

Actually I think you're right. As long as there is food in to make a lunch for school and you'd still give her that 20 euros if she took a packed lunch shes effectively choosing to buy lunch instead of making it. My 10 and 13 year olds make their own lunch, at 15 shes more than old enough.

NoDecentHandlesLeft · 13/11/2021 12:14

the lunch money is completely separate. It's intended for her to eat at lunchtimes.
If you can't afford both, she takes a packed lunch, or you suggest free things she can do with her friends instead.

woodhill · 13/11/2021 12:14

I think she should be making her own lunch at 15.

I'm shocked how much money is spent on takeaway food by young people rather than bringing a packed lunch