To tell dd to save her "lunch" money

[grecianurn82]

My 15 year old gets 20 euro a week for money for lunch. She buys a roll and a drink every day which costs 4 euro a day. Then at weekends she's usually looking for another 10 to go out with her friends. Aibu to tell her she needs to save her money during the week and bring lunch from home a couple of days?? Her dad (we're separated) is trying to tell me I'm being unfair and apparently the maintenance he gives me is for this. I think 30 a week is a ridiculous amount to be giving a teenager..Aibu??

So you are not "giving her money for lunch" then expecting her to use that as pocket money too. You are letting her choose to spend the €20 on lunch or take lunch from home and keep the €20 for the weekend.
That is different.

@grecianurn82

Prior to this year she was getting 20 a week pocket money and bringing lunch from home every day.

This changes my opinion then. Ask her what she'd prefer. The €20 + bring a roll and drink, or spend that €20 on lunch and less money at weekends.

If you can't afford to give her more, then she can bring lunch from home agaín surely?

I think as her parent, you should be making her packed lunch or giving her lunch money, entirely seperate from pocket money.

I don't think you should be expecting her to make her own lunch or sacrifice her pocket money. Ensuring adequate food is part of being a parent

I can't imagine begrudging my child €10 a week because they also need money for food.

Surely taking lunch and getting €20 is about the same anyway? Unless you are skint, it's a stupid argument to get caught up in.

That is NOT a lot of money for a teenager that age.

DS16 is always telling me how unfair it is that his mates get £10 a day to buy lunch and mean old me only gives him £25 a week. Teens spend an inordinate amount on food and drinks out these days, there’s just an expectation to eat out. Definitely get her to take a packed lunch on some days.

A 15yo can definitely make their own packed lunch 😂

If you can’t afford to give her more she will have to take a packed lunch 😁

Lunch money should be separate from pocket money.
Your DD should get a set amount of € every week as pocket money. €10 per week is decent amount.

Lunch money should be discussed separately. If you can’t afford for her to buy lunch every day, then you should help her make a packed lunch from home. But you shouldn’t be telling her to use pocket money to buy any lunches.

Does she choose to buy lunch? Because I’m more inclined to see your point if it’s a case of you saying “here is your pocket money, and I have bought things for you to take to school for lunch” and she’s saying “nah I’d rather spend my pocket money on lunch”

I think a lot of people here have missed the point that it is choosing between buying lunch (in a shop) or bringing in lunch to school every day, not a choice between eating or not eating!
I think you should say to her, she can have €30 per week. It's up to her if she wants to bring a lunch from home and spend the €30 on whatever she likes at the weekend or buy the rolls. I know what I would have chose. I presume she is getting the hot chicken fillet roll/ drink/ tayto deal every day, what she brings from home will be far healthier and she will have more spending money.
I don't see the need for them going out for lunch every day anyway, most school weren't allowed and we all managed to survive!

I think food and pocket money should be separate. £20 per week pocket money and a packed lunch from home. If she wants to use her allowance to buy food then that's up to her.

Give her the €20 on a Monday and ensure she knows that there’s bread, ham, cheese, crisps etc in the fridge.

Even meet her 3/4 of the way and buy her a new flask/lunchbox so she can take hot food as leftovers from the night before if she wants.

It’s not that she’s meant to use her pocket money for lunch it’s that’s she’s using her pocket money for lunch because it’s easier. That’s a decision she has to make - buy a roll daily or pack one and have €20 for weekend.

My daughter gets £10 a week on an account for lunch, if it runs out she takes packed lunch. She also gets an allowance separate to that.

Give her €X on the Saturday and tell her it has to last until the next Saturday. If she runs out during the week she'll have to take a packed lunch.

@SickAndTiredAgain

Does she choose to buy lunch? Because I’m more inclined to see your point if it’s a case of you saying “here is your pocket money, and I have bought things for you to take to school for lunch” and she’s saying “nah I’d rather spend my pocket money on lunch”

I think it’s this isn’t it? OP is providing food for packed lunch. DD is instead choosing to spend allowance on different lunch and then asking for more allowance.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable. You’re not making her starve, you’re giving her €20 a week and she’s choosing to spend it on lunch. She can make pack lunch some days and save her money for the weekend

@SickAndTiredAgain yes thats exactly what's been happening the last few weeks.
@Irishfarmer yes thats basically what she's buying. She spent a fortune on reusable water bottles which she "forgets" to fill most days and so ends up buying a couple of bottles of water every day. I'm not complaining about having to provide her with food which is how it seems to have come across!

@Moonbabysmum

I think as her parent, you should be making her packed lunch or giving her lunch money, entirely seperate from pocket money.

I don't think you should be expecting her to make her own lunch or sacrifice her pocket money. Ensuring adequate food is part of being a parent

@Moonbabysmum

She’s 15!
I would be embarrassed if my 15 year old couldn’t make herself a simple packed lunch, surely most 8 year olds can do that?

Yeah it sounds like she’s choosing to spend her pocket money on lunch at school because she can’t be arsed to make herself a packed lunch.

That’s her choice. I’d have took my own lunch and pocketed the twenty quid for the weekend.

She's old enough to make her choices, budget a bit and make her own lunch.

If she's choosing to spend her money on food at school when there's perfectly adequate packed lunch food available then the natural consequences are that she has less at the weekend..

I'm actually gobsmacked at the number of posters that seem to think you should be handing over 50euro a week or more because your DD doesn't want to take a packed lunch.

As for your ex, tell him if he's so bothered he needs to give her some pocket money himself.

The Dad needs to contribute separately to her pocket money, the £30 is keeping a roof over her head, he has some cheek judging the amount she has.
He can cough up an 15 a week for pocket money.
Teenagers are very expensive unfortunately £20 isn't enough to cover lunches too.

My youngest DS is 16 and gers £35 a week, thus us £15 pocket money and £20 lunch money.

I think that is a fairly generous amount tbh, but SS is a very hungry teenager

To have a bit of mo eg to treat yours at that age is so nice, I think, and I can afford it, sohave decided it's OK

Can you afford it?

You sound a bit tight