Dinner Lady told my class I was pregnant

[RosieLemonade]

I am 22 weeks pregnant. I hadn't told my class as I'm quite anxious about things going wrong and also I'm planning to work a good few weeks yet. I share my class with another teacher and she is taking over my days so it isn't a huge change for them. Obviously I have a bump so some have probably noticed but I do try and wear lose clothing.
Today loads of them came to me after lunch and told me they knew I was having a baby boy next year! Then later some of the older children I have taught came and said the same thing. They told me the dinner lady had been telling people. I hadn't even told the dinner lady! Am I being unreasonable that I'm a bit miffed I didn't get to tell my class myself?

Yanbu that's shit.

How was she supposed to know? Particularly if, as you say, you're obviously pregnant.

I can understand how the dinner lady might not have realised but still you are right to be a bit miffed.

P.s. congrats 🥳

How old are they? If you're a secondary school teacher they were always going to ask around to see if anyone knew whether you were pregnant.

However, nobody should be gossiping about you.

The dinner lady probably didn't know it was to be kept quiet and probably thought that if she knew then it was common knowledge. I'd want to know who told her.

Why would someone do that!!

YANBU, but I guess it's possible if someone else told the dinner lady then she didn't realise that it wasn't common knowledge and the children didn't know.

Which year group are they? If they're young and you don't mention it for a while it's possible they'll forget and you can tell them yourself later on.

She probably thought you'd already told them by now.

Could be worse, I'm pregnant and have 4/5 different students ask me if "miss X" is pregnant too.. she is not turns out people had asked her directly too!

Did you tell anyone not to tell the class, probably not.

So the dinner lady would have heard and not realised it was a secret. She’d probably be upset if you tell her and you’re gutted not to tell the class yourself.

Yes it sucks that you werent the one to tell people but tbh the minute the bump shows it’s common knowledge and nobody would expect you’d still be keeping it secret.

At 22 weeks and visibly pregnant, she probably assumed it was common knowledge.

I'd be furious

Of course you are not being unreasonable. It is nobody's place but yours when and how you decide to tell your class, although as you admit, at 22 weeks it is fairly likely that the more astute of them may have suspected something.

You didn't tell the dinner lady. So ask her where she got her information from and why she felt it appropriate to inform your class herself. I'm sure she didn't intend any harm, but it was very thoughtless and intrusive. She needs pulled up on it.

Did whoever told her explain that you didn't yet feel ready to discuss such a personal issue with your class?

So you've only got the kids' word that it was the dinner lady? Maybe one of them worked it out and they're testing you, but thought they'd say they heard it from the dinner lady just in case they'd got it wrong!

She probably assumed everybody knew as you are now 22 weeks.

I just wouldn't say do you know Mrs X is pregnant? If the children mentioned it I would probably join in the conversation.

@RosieLemonade

I just wouldn't say do you know Mrs X is pregnant? If the children mentioned it I would probably join in the conversation.

I highly doubt the dinner lady is going around blurting it out to everyone

Quite a few children told myself and at least 3 other members of staff in various conversations over the day.

I doubt the dinner lady knew it was a secret.

If it was common knowledge among staff and you're quite far along with a bump, then normally it wouldn't be hidden.

Dinner lady was probably just chatting with a child "Isn't it lovely Mrs Jones is having a baby".

I think you are both unreasonable.
She shouldn't have told them.
However, I think it's unreasonable for you not to tell your class that you're pregnant by 22 weeks, and to expect people not to talk about your pregnancy when you've told some people but not others - how are they supposed to know who you have and haven't told? And if you have a visible bump some people will work it out anyway.
I can understand waiting until after your 20 week anomaly scan but then i think you should tell them. (Unless you have a history of late miscarriage or still birth, or higher than usual risk of serious complications.) And if you don't tell them, it seems a bit silly to get upset about them finding out by other means. Sorry.

@RosieLemonade

I just wouldn't say do you know Mrs X is pregnant? If the children mentioned it I would probably join in the conversation.

Depends what the conversation was: Child: my mummy's having a baby in April Dinner lady: oh lovely, just like Mrs Jones

Child: Mrs Smith is my favourite teacher
Dinner lady: you must be pleased that she's taking over your class while Mrs Jones is on maternity leave then

My secondary pupils guessed at 7 weeks as I was bloated. One asked and I went bright red... had to go and tell head I had a positive pregnancy test but this was not 14 week notice ( head was delighted for me)definitely not her news to tell but schools do plan and talk .

My daughter's Primary school even when all of us parents have worked out the teacher is pregnant we don't tell the kids until it's in the Newsletter. Sort of an unwritten rule....is she new.

Or even
Child: Mrs Jones is so fat now, she must have eaten too much cake
Dinner lady: don't be silly, her tummy is big because of the baby

@RosieLemonade

Quite a few children told myself and at least 3 other members of staff in various conversations over the day.

What, they all told all of you that this specific dinner lady has told them?

The dinner lady should not have been speaking about such a personal matter.

If she wants to share her own personal business with a bunch of kids, that's her perogative. I would be very angry and would ask her supervisor to remind her about confidentiality, privacy and boundaries!