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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dinner Lady told my class I was pregnant

146 replies

RosieLemonade · 12/11/2021 17:32

I am 22 weeks pregnant. I hadn't told my class as I'm quite anxious about things going wrong and also I'm planning to work a good few weeks yet. I share my class with another teacher and she is taking over my days so it isn't a huge change for them. Obviously I have a bump so some have probably noticed but I do try and wear lose clothing.
Today loads of them came to me after lunch and told me they knew I was having a baby boy next year! Then later some of the older children I have taught came and said the same thing. They told me the dinner lady had been telling people. I hadn't even told the dinner lady! Am I being unreasonable that I'm a bit miffed I didn't get to tell my class myself?

OP posts:
drpet49 · 12/11/2021 17:55

Some batshit answers on this thread. YABU- telling some and not others. I imagine most people have figured it out already, people aren’t blind.

Mantlemoose · 12/11/2021 17:55

You're quite obviously pregnant so YABU.

pumpkinpal · 12/11/2021 17:55

I think YABU. Sorry. 22 weeks is quite visible. Can't imagine it was said with malice.

Is there a reason you're sensitive? If a previous loss then I can understand but people probably happy for you.

Congratulations

GreyhoundG1rl · 12/11/2021 17:55

@DreamerSeven

At 22 weeks and visibly pregnant, she probably assumed it was common knowledge.
This Confused Did you really think nobody's noticed, op? She probably just talked about it, rather than realising she was the one "telling" people.
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 12/11/2021 17:56

I expect she assumed everyone knew if you're 22 weeks with a bump.

Mantlemoose · 12/11/2021 17:57

@Muchmorethan

The dinner lady should not have been speaking about such a personal matter.

If she wants to share her own personal business with a bunch of kids, that's her perogative. I would be very angry and would ask her supervisor to remind her about confidentiality, privacy and boundaries!

OP quite obviously is pregnant so hardly a secret?
GreyhoundG1rl · 12/11/2021 17:58

The things some people consider "my personal business" never ceases to amuse me 😂

HollowTalk · 12/11/2021 17:59

@TwinklyBranch

So you've only got the kids' word that it was the dinner lady? Maybe one of them worked it out and they're testing you, but thought they'd say they heard it from the dinner lady just in case they'd got it wrong!
How likely is that, really?
WorraLiberty · 12/11/2021 18:00

Am I being unreasonable that I'm a bit miffed I didn't get to tell my class myself?

But you didn't want to tell them, did you? Confused

I mean, I get not telling them before you're visibly pregnant but you are, and you still didn't say anything.

campion · 12/11/2021 18:06

You should have told them earlier if you wanted to make a thing of it. You misjudged the moment.

Summerfun54321 · 12/11/2021 18:08

How long were you planning on trying to conceal your pregnancy for? 22 weeks is already a stretch for most people.

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 12/11/2021 18:11

YABVU I don’t think it’s a secret when you’re 22 weeks pregnant and it’s obvious.

Flowerlane · 12/11/2021 18:13

Yabu

If you wanted to tell the children before anyone said anything I think you should have before 22 weeks when you have yourself said you are showing. Kids are not stupid. I guarantee some of the parents have already suspected and it’s been discussed.

Also do you know how the conversations went? Are they infant/junior school? I very much doubt it was the dinner lady mentioning it first for no reason. Something must have been started by a child.

Sally872 · 12/11/2021 18:13

It's annoying. But not really dinner ladies fault as if visible and/or whoever told her didn't say kids don't know yet I can understand how it happened. Tbh it would probably have happened any day now parents have prob noticed too.

GreenLunchBox · 12/11/2021 18:17

YABUA

You made it awkward by getting to the stage where you're visibly pregnant without saying anything. The kids have obviously been asking why your belly is suddenly big and what are people meant to do....lie for you?! How does that work Confused

GreenLunchBox · 12/11/2021 18:17

*YABU

Walkingthedog46 · 12/11/2021 18:17

Why do some people love to announce other people’s news! Does it make them feel important?

GreyhoundG1rl · 12/11/2021 18:18

@Walkingthedog46

Why do some people love to announce other people’s news! Does it make them feel important?
Nobody will have assumed this is news to anybody Hmm
minniep · 12/11/2021 18:18

Sorry but I think YABVU. My sons teacher is also pregnant. Obviously absolutely none of my business but i did think she looked great and Ive been silently admitted her maternity clothes. These things cannot be kept hidden.

samesign · 12/11/2021 18:20

I do get what you mean, it's your news to tell but if your showing then it can't be kept a secret, I think your lucky you've managed to keep it under wraps this long, I had people asking me if I was pregnant by 10 weeks.

opalescent · 12/11/2021 18:21

Yabu.
You can choose to not want to talk about your pregnancy- but there comes a point when it's just obvious to everyone else.

The dinner lady probably had no idea it was a secret so far along into your pregnancy.

Idontlikeprosecco · 12/11/2021 18:29

This reminds me of earlier this year in lockdown but my child was still going to school and I noticed that the teacher had a bump.
Nothing was mentioned and the bump kept growing, I assumed she was waiting to announce the pregnancy when all the children came back in March.
Still nothing and all the children and parents had noticed, some children had asked her and she snapped that she wasn't pregnant and some parents had even congratulated her and she embarrassingly said she wasn't pregnant.
She looked very far gone and we were all confused and worried as to what's going on.

A few weeks later on a Thursday we got a message from the head saying that the teacher had been to the hospital on the weds (she was off sick that day) and discovered she was pregnant.. very pregnant and due in the next 4 days.
No one understood how she didn't know herself as she was all bump and blatantly pregnant.
The most bizarre thing to happen, thank god she wasn't a biology teacher.

Op, as for your dinner lady, she probably thought it must be common knowledge seeing as it's obvious to anyone with a pair of eyes.
You left it too late to drop your surprise news as everyone knew already anyway

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 12/11/2021 18:30

When I opened this thread, I assumed you were going to be about thirteen weeks along and quite reasonably upset. But you’re 22 weeks and have a bump - how on earth was she meant to know that you still imagined that no one knew 😂

MsWalterMitty · 12/11/2021 18:32

It wasn’t her news to tell. Yanbu

CurzonDax · 12/11/2021 18:33

YANBU - Even if the dinner lady thought it was common business, she shouldn't be discussing the personal lives, of other members of staff, with the students.

I could understand a slip in a nice tone, e.g. if the students were talking fondly of you, and she said something along the lines of, " Oh, isn't it lively that she's having a baby." However, the surprised reaction from the children would have told her that they didn't know. So why then did she continue to go and tell others (you said multiple children had said they'd heard it from her)? Sounds like gossiping to me, and it's not her business to do that, with children, about your personal life.