To make DD share her cake with her cousins?

[Sashimimimi]

DD turned 8 yesterday and MIL made her a special cake as she always does for all the grandchildren.

SIL lives across the street from us with her kids and although her kids don’t always see mine on birthdays (she shares custody with her ex), we always make sure all the cousins have some of the cake when it’s someone’s birthday.

Anyway this morning DH was cutting up some of DD’s cake to take to work and I asked if he was taking some for SIL’s kids (he works with BIL). He said no, and that DD has said her cousins can’t have any because she and DS didn’t get any of their cousin’s cake when he had his birthday two weeks ago.

I couldn’t even remember whether our kids got any of DN’s cake and I think it’s petty of DD to remember and hold a grudge about it. I do think it’s kind of understandable and she IS only 8 but it’s not the kind of attitude I really want to encourage from her. But DH thinks it’s fine.

Would it be unreasonable of me to insist that she lets her cousins have some?? I realise it’s not a huge deal and the cousins may not even have noticed (they are a bit older than DD), it’s more that I don’t want DD to grow up with a small minded score keeping attitude to life as I don’t think it will do her any good. AIBU?

@Dropcloth

Some responses on this thread —the tit-for-tat-ery of some posters, and their beady-eyed, transactional attitude to relationships, and their terrible, encroaching fear that someone’s getting something for nothing, or putting one over on them — is exactly why so many Mumsnetters are either friendless or stuck with wildly dramatic pseudo-friendships with continual fallouts, rising to insane dramas over stealing baby names, bridesmaids with tattoos, or the politics of hen parties..

There’s plenty of cake. Assuming the cousins aren’t evil child vampires or something, there’s no reason to assume this is anything like people-pleasing, or ‘rising above’. It must be absolutely exhausting living inside the heads of those of you who are continual high alert for Exclusion, No Effort, or Someone Got A Bigger Slice Than I Did.

I love everything about this post

Poor dd!
Ask her if she wants to cut a piece of cake and take it over to her cousins house. Maybe she will be thanked (to her face) for the lovely thought. That might take the sting out of being forced to share the not-reciprocated cake. I hope she got to choose which bit of cake she wanted for herself. Often there is a character or iced kisses or chocolate buttons which is 'the best bit'.

@Theunamedcat

Everyone going on about being forced to give away nice things the kid doesn't even like cake given the choice between cousins stomach or the bin I would give it to the cousins

Lots of posters have made this point which I don't understand - the birthday girl might have other people to give it to. The OP is about the cousins specifically receiving some not about not wasting cake in general. Also as @Skiptheheartsandflowers mentioned they haven't even seen the cousins for a while - the cake might never even reach them. They probably don't even know it's someone's birthday.