No 2 minutes silence at gym. AIBU

[Mushypeasandchipstogo]

I went to my gym today for a class in the swimming pool. I had totally expected the class to finish just before 11am so that those who wanted to could observe the two minutes silence. By 10.55am it was apparent that this was not going to happen so I just took myself out of the pool and sat in the changing room by myself.
So as to not drip feed, I am from a Forces Family and the wrong side of 50! I found this totally disrespectful of the instructor. He could have, at the very least, mentioned that he had intended to not stop before the class. AIBU to be upset by this?

When did it become two minutes? I definitely remember it being 1 minute and 2 minutes for key anniversaries (25 years/50years etc) now it's 2min every year.

I also dislike the feeling of enforced performance that surrounds Rembrance these days and the commercialisation of the poppy symbol. I prefer to reflect in my own way and time.

@monkeysmum21

YANBU in my opinion. You did the right thing but there is a lot of imperfection in the world. You can expect people who are self-centre all year round to make an exception today.

I didn’t observe the silence today. However I will be taking my pack of Brownies (who I give hours of my time to every week, all year round) to the remembrance parade on Sunday where we will march together with the community and observe the silence together. Self centred, me.

Personally I had no idea there was a minute's silence today. Obviously I am aware that remembrance type activities have been going on recently, but I didn't have a clue of 11am today. I believe that there are two reasons I didn't know -

(1) I detest the jingoistic and nationalistic right wing flag waving that goes on. Remembrance day looks like an opportunity for the right to further it's aims, as opposed to a genuine attempt to commemorate the dead and consider how important it is not to stir up nationalism which itself increases the likelihood of war
and
(2) I detest the jingoistic and nationalistic right wing flag waving government, to the point that they are so despicably immoral and corrupt that I can't abide listening to the news where I get to be made depressed by their latest depravity, and which is where I might have heard that the 11 o'clock thing was happening.

I don't think anyone has the obligation to participate in remembrance day - indeed I feel obliged not to. In an ideal world the country could unite against the futility of the nationalism that lead to wars and death, and the wars and death itself.

I think that perhaps sadly - you are being a tad unrealistic to expect the silence to be observed in the way you imagined. Being from a forces family probably gives the two minute silence more significance in your mind than the minds of other gym goers. Given the circumstances I think you did the best thing for you. I don't think you would be unreasonable to mention your concern to the gym's manager but I think in future you might have more realistic expectations of what the public do.

@Random789

I wish we could go back to how things were before the Blair-era politicisation of war commemoration, when remembance was sincere, low-key, private, and tinged with a sense of tragedy rather than jingoistic pride.

I believe that the Blair govt's ramping up of public symbols of commemoration began in a harmless enough way -- there was a general feeling that the generation directly affected by the second world war was slipping away, and it felt important to honour them as the 'big' round-number anniversaries of major war events came and went.

But it has ended up making remembrance performative, confrontational, tribal, nationalist, inauthentic. The antithesis of what remembrance used to be, especially in the years after the First World War, when it was a recognition of the pointlessness of slaughter, and didn't spin it into grand patriotic feel-good tropes. Tropes that are so bland now that (as I remember from a couple of years ago) they can be woven into adverts for Sainsbury's and biscuits.

As it happens, I was at a gym class too, and ours did stop for the silence. Fine - I was plaesed to have a chance to join in. But I would ahve been equally happy if they had carried on with the class. I can takes a short reflective silence whenever I need to, alone and at home.

I agree with every word of this.

@happydappy2

We either have a minutes silence to honour the sacrifice made in war, or we don't. I was in a yoga class when 11am fell and we all observed a minutes silence & reflection-there was a tannoy announcement just beforehand so everyone could observe this. Is yr gym part of a chain OP? I would mention it to management.

What do you mean we either have it or we don’t? As a mandated thing, we don’t. And nor should we. As a personal choice, we do. Which is the right way to do it.

@FangsForTheMemory

If you're the wrong side of 50, you'll remember that nobody in this country used to observe two minutes' silence except those attending Armistice Day ceremonies. It should be a personal thing.

Quite. It's a fairly new thing, I'm 66 and we never did it when I was young. Having said that I take part now if it's happening where I am but it's not compulsory. You could have checked when you went in to the gym.

You wanted to observe the silence. You stopped. No-one else needs to if they don't want to.

We're all from Forces families - pretty much everyone in this country, including most immigrants - had relatives who fought in WW1 and WW2.

I do a lot of work with the British Legion, including (until recently, as sadly most are no longer with us) WW2 veterans. They all feel it is important to honour fallen comrades but many of them hate the modern virtue-signalling around this. Commemoration should be a personal choice.

Isn't the official silence on Sunday?

@Wheresmywoolyjumpers

I think it is a shame. As for the wrong side of 50 - so am I and I have an memory of being about 7 and walking through Parliament Square with my sister when everybody around us just stopped. I had no idea why, but was told after it was the 2 minutes silence. It really had a big impact on me and I think it is a shame it is not observed so much any more.

^^this in spades!!

we don't know we're born.

It's the very least we can do. I am extremely grateful to all those who fell giving their life so we can live ours.

It's about reverance and respect.

I'm 45 if that makes any difference.

@Wheresmywoolyjumpers

I think it is a shame. As for the wrong side of 50 - so am I and I have an memory of being about 7 and walking through Parliament Square with my sister when everybody around us just stopped. I had no idea why, but was told after it was the 2 minutes silence. It really had a big impact on me and I think it is a shame it is not observed so much any more.

I suspect that was on Remembrance Sunday not 11/11

You are being bonkers. It’s optional. He’s not got to stop a class because how does he know who wants to observe it and who doesn’t? If you do, you make an individual decision to, as you did.

I usually follow it myself, but it’s a complex concept, for many people tangled up with unjust wars etc, or they may simply not be interested. Any response is fine. It’s there for people who want it.

@Libertaire

YABU.

If you wish to observe two minutes silence, carry on. Nobody is stopping you.

Others are free to ignore such public virtue-signalling if they wish.

I agree.

A couple of years ago DD’s karate class fell on Remembrance Sunday. They had the class do the silence holding the plank position.

If it was that important to you why did you go to an exercise class when you knew it was going to happen?

I intensely dislike how performative remembrance has become. Same as with the poppy police who love coming out every year.

YABU.

Why on earth did you go swimming at that time if it was so important to you? As others have said people would quite rightly have complained if they'd paid for the whole of the class but not had the whole time. YABU

@QueenofKattegat

You're being unreasonable. Are you one of those people that complain if they see a news reader not wearing a poppy? Forced respect, for fear of judgement, isn't respect.

Agree.

When I was at school in the 1970s we never had a 2 minutes silence, it was done on the nearest Sunday to the 11th. inb the 1980s it was the same at work, no one stood silent for a minute, it was done on th nearest Sunday to the 11th

now you have two chances to do this 1 minutes silence, I did the silence this morning - but it was interrupted by customers.

@HireStarter

The two minute silence doesn't mean anything imo.

The respect, care and support current and ex military people get isn't synonymous with whether people stand in silence for 2 mins. What do you do, aside from observe the silence, that supports them?

I'm glad you were able to observe it yourself but you have no right to make others do so. It's very possible they've done other (or more effective) things to help the cause.

It sounds like you likely spent the 2 minutes stewing on the fact that you were alone.

Also agree.

It's the very least we can do. I am extremely grateful to all those who fell giving their life so we can live ours.

So patently untrue. The least you can do? Not even a fiver to a charity? “Fell” is such a euphemism and insulting - to poeticise it all. They died, they didn’t fall.

I come from a country that ,in a way, suffered even more than the UK during both wars as the German troupes invaded my country and I've always found the seemingly compulsory wearing of poppies (even on light entertainment shows on the TV) and the minute of silence done in Asda,just bizarre. Where I come from,it's done on the Sunday at the war memorials.

I was on the phone to a customer and advised them of it, and that I would be putting them on hold. They said oh yes of course, I forgot but anyway... and then went into a long monologue until 11.05! I tried 🤷🏽‍♀️

If I am somewhere and remember or other people are observing it then I'm quiet with them, at home alone I might forget but I remembered last night and spent a few minutes thinking of my grandad

The worst was one year at work when we were told about it, we all went quiet at 11am and my colleague came off a call "why is everyone so quiet? What's going on? Tell me! OI BOSS why is nobody talking?"

’I wish we could go back to how things were before the Blair-era politicisation of war commemoration, when remembance was sincere, low-key, private, and tinged with a sense of tragedy rather than jingoistic pride.’

It was the 50th Anniversary of VE Day in 1995, pre Blair, that changed things.

@rookiemere

He probably didn't know , it was down to the gym management to tell him and they obviously didn't. I had an awkward training session starting at 11 - there was no way I could notify the organisers but thankfully most of us sat silently until 11.02, so the message must have got through. I do think though it's not helped by having silences for other things like the NHS - it would be better IMHO to keep the two minutes silence only for it's original purpose.

I agree with you that the 2 minute silence should be for this occasion, and this occasion only. I think as a nation, we could take two minutes out of however minutes there are in a year to show our respect and gratitude.

And I do understand there will be some that have neither to show but I would hope they are the minority.