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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No 2 minutes silence at gym. AIBU

543 replies

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 11/11/2021 17:52

I went to my gym today for a class in the swimming pool. I had totally expected the class to finish just before 11am so that those who wanted to could observe the two minutes silence. By 10.55am it was apparent that this was not going to happen so I just took myself out of the pool and sat in the changing room by myself.
So as to not drip feed, I am from a Forces Family and the wrong side of 50! I found this totally disrespectful of the instructor. He could have, at the very least, mentioned that he had intended to not stop before the class. AIBU to be upset by this?

OP posts:
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6
PrivateHall · 11/11/2021 18:09

YABU. I would be very surprised to have a gym class stop to observe a 2 min silence - it should be optional. You were able to leave and do so which is great, everyone else clearly didn't want to, so the class continued - also great. I was running a clinic today and it wouldn't cross my mind to pause and enforce this on my patients. You can pause and reflect at any convenient time, not just that one prescribed point each year.

Mommabear20 · 11/11/2021 18:10

I don't think YABU at all! I had to take DC to do the weekly food shop this morning and at 1 year old got my DD to (mostly) partake. There wasn't one done by the store which I was upset by but made sure to stop and pay my respects. Sadly, it seems we as a nation have indeed forgotten them 😢

MadeOfStarStuff · 11/11/2021 18:10

YABU If they’d stopped class early they would have other people complaining they hadn’t had the full time they paid for.

People who want to observe the silence could do what you did. Or had the option of not taking a class at that time today. People can likely also observe the silence on Sunday.

ftw163532 · 11/11/2021 18:10

@CupCalamity

I feel the same OP, and I'm not from a Forces family and the other side of 50 to you. Do we really live in such a self centred world that we can't spend 2 minutes thinking of others? So sad. I always observe it, it's really not hard. It should just be a given. In my workplace we all stopped and joined together in the waiting room for it.
I think you missed the point of living in a democracy. So sad that you don't respect what people died for.
Waxonwaxoff0 · 11/11/2021 18:11

@CupCalamity

I feel the same OP, and I'm not from a Forces family and the other side of 50 to you. Do we really live in such a self centred world that we can't spend 2 minutes thinking of others? So sad. I always observe it, it's really not hard. It should just be a given. In my workplace we all stopped and joined together in the waiting room for it.
I don't need a specific date and time to spend 2 minutes thinking of others.

It can't be a "given" in everyone's workplace either, hospitals for example.

Seeingadistance · 11/11/2021 18:11

@FangsForTheMemory

If you're the wrong side of 50, you'll remember that nobody in this country used to observe two minutes' silence except those attending Armistice Day ceremonies. It should be a personal thing.
This.
Europilgrim · 11/11/2021 18:13

So 2 minutes silence on the 11th is a thing now? Why not just on Sunday?

TurnUpTurnip · 11/11/2021 18:14

I went to Sainsbury’s today and didn’t realise you had to stay still as well as be silent, so I carried on walking around until I realise, got some nasty looks! I don’t think I’ve ever been in a shop when its happened, felt so stupid

PrivateHall · 11/11/2021 18:14

@Mommabear20

I don't think YABU at all! I had to take DC to do the weekly food shop this morning and at 1 year old got my DD to (mostly) partake. There wasn't one done by the store which I was upset by but made sure to stop and pay my respects. Sadly, it seems we as a nation have indeed forgotten them 😢
But if it was so important to you, why on earth would you go shopping at this time? I don't generally partake in these sorts of things as I prefer to reflect in my own way, but the odd time I have done, I have made sure to be in a appropriate location at the time. I find it quite emotional and deep so I wouldn't want to be standing in a supermarket. Also surely you didn't expect a shop to force its customers to stand in silence.
ButtonSister · 11/11/2021 18:15

@Suzi888

YANBU but no one seems to care anymore. Generation ❄️ We wouldn’t win a war these days!
Remembrance Day is a much bigger thing nowadays than it was decades ago, I am 60 and the 2 minute silence on 11/11 was never a thing growing up. And by "bigger thing" I mean performative, just like the standing on doorsteps for the NHS last year was performative.
QueenofKattegat · 11/11/2021 18:15

You're being unreasonable. Are you one of those people that complain if they see a news reader not wearing a poppy? Forced respect, for fear of judgement, isn't respect.

TreaslakeandBack · 11/11/2021 18:15

Remembrance- autocorrect or after work wineGrin

QueenofKattegat · 11/11/2021 18:15

And by "bigger thing" I mean performative, just like the standing on doorsteps for the NHS last year was performative

Very much agree with this. Performative is exactly the word.

TurnUpTurnip · 11/11/2021 18:16

Everyone in Sainsbury’s took part, didn’t even know it was a thing in shops but the whole shop was silent so I looked like a right cow for not realising

ftw163532 · 11/11/2021 18:16

@Mommabear20

I don't think YABU at all! I had to take DC to do the weekly food shop this morning and at 1 year old got my DD to (mostly) partake. There wasn't one done by the store which I was upset by but made sure to stop and pay my respects. Sadly, it seems we as a nation have indeed forgotten them 😢
Sadly, it seems you have forgotten what it is that they died for.

Trying to limit anyone's freedom in the name of people who died to defend that freedom is disgusting.

If you're going to behave like that you have no right to claim to have been "paying respect" to them.

MrsFin · 11/11/2021 18:17

If you're the wrong side of 50, you'll remember that nobody in this country used to observe two minutes' silence except those attending Armistice Day ceremonies. It should be a personal thing.

I agree. It's not something I remember doing until maybe 25 years ago - not sure, but I was born in the 60s and I don't remember "enforced" silences until well into my working life.

ConstantlySeekingHappiness · 11/11/2021 18:17

YABU.

Why go swimming at that time if it was so important to you.

Same to the PP who went food shopping!

Why?! At that exact time?! To then complain that the moment wasn’t observed in the way you thought it should be?

ImUninsultable · 11/11/2021 18:17

A lot of people just wait for the Sunday.

My kids' primary school did it today but I remember that my school never did it.

pickingdaisies · 11/11/2021 18:17

Sorry but I can't get worked up about a gym not stopping lessons. If I'm shopping and the store announces it, I'll observe it. But it's a working day, Sunday is for remembrance. Lots of services to go to if you want to pay your respects.

WheelieBinPrincess · 11/11/2021 18:20

Bit odd to plan a swim sesh then if it was going to be that important to you. You could have gone and stood by the memorial on your local cemetery instead. A public swimming pool isn’t an ideal place for reflection.

Not the reflection you mean anyway.

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 11/11/2021 18:20

YABU

It’s a personal choice to observe a silence, at any time of your choosing. Virtue signalling is bad enough, but forced group virtue signalling? no thanks.

Mantlemoose · 11/11/2021 18:21

We wouldn't stop in the office as an organised thing. If people want to do it, like OP, they make it happen. Why do people always want others to control their lives?

HireStarter · 11/11/2021 18:22

The two minute silence doesn't mean anything imo.

The respect, care and support current and ex military people get isn't synonymous with whether people stand in silence for 2 mins. What do you do, aside from observe the silence, that supports them?

I'm glad you were able to observe it yourself but you have no right to make others do so. It's very possible they've done other (or more effective) things to help the cause.

It sounds like you likely spent the 2 minutes stewing on the fact that you were alone.

CSJobseeker · 11/11/2021 18:22

If it's really important to you, don't book a class at that time.

BeyondOurReef · 11/11/2021 18:22

I’m sure it also used to be a minute of silence. There’s been inflation.

I agree that the whole performative and judgemental nature of it these days is actually disrespectful if anything. As is the very odd commercialisation around it - buying special poppy broaches with a ‘donation’ to charity included in the price and so on.

It’s quite depressing really.