No 2 minutes silence at gym. AIBU

[Mushypeasandchipstogo]

I went to my gym today for a class in the swimming pool. I had totally expected the class to finish just before 11am so that those who wanted to could observe the two minutes silence. By 10.55am it was apparent that this was not going to happen so I just took myself out of the pool and sat in the changing room by myself.
So as to not drip feed, I am from a Forces Family and the wrong side of 50! I found this totally disrespectful of the instructor. He could have, at the very least, mentioned that he had intended to not stop before the class. AIBU to be upset by this?

It seemed to gain popularity about the same time as Blair's Wars, so unfortunately I now see it as political rather than anything else. I used to always go to Rememberance Sunday services, but the whole thing has lost its meaning for me.

YABU. Why go to a class if it’s so important? Stay home and observe it yourself, don’t go out and expect others to join in.

It’s a weekly swimming class! It’s expensive/I can’t change it and frankly it didn’t even occur to me about the timings until I got into my car at 11.30 and was a bit “oh fuck”. In no way do I blame the swimming instructor etc I was just saying I feel bad about it.

People on this site are such dicks 😆

I agree that it used to be only a minute silence but when I grew up it really was a thing in the 1970s and 80s!

@FangsForTheMemory

If you're the wrong side of 50, you'll remember that nobody in this country used to observe two minutes' silence except those attending Armistice Day ceremonies. It should be a personal thing.

This.

@QueenofKattegat

You're being unreasonable. Are you one of those people that complain if they see a news reader not wearing a poppy? Forced respect, for fear of judgement, isn't respect.

Forced respect, for fear of judgement, isn't respect.

Precisely.

I observe it in the least possible virtue signalling way. At our schools the kids have been working really hard on fabulous displays; it would have been discourteous not have respected their effort and thought. I also attend a Service of Remembrance on Sunday and find it deeply moving.

Then again my maternal grandfather fought and my paternal grandfather was the Captain of a Little Ship that rescued soldiers from Dunkirk, so I do think four minutes a year is not a high price performative action.

What nonsense. 2 minutes silence in the gym??

Armistice Day (today) and Remembrance Day are different memorial days, remembering different yet overlapping events. Armistice Day is only about WW1. It’s only been since 1995 since the two-minute silence was noted on 11/11. If the OP is the wrong side of 50, they must know this. Remembrance Day was brought in especially to prevent people stopping work on 11/11 - in order to help the war effort in WW2. It could be argued that those who stop today are not only a bit ignorant but are also disrespecting the memory of those who died in WW2.

It's a personal choice. Observing the silence isn't compulsory.

I don't think the world should stop turning for it. I was in an meeting with overseas colleagues from Brazil at 11.

YABU @Mushypeasandchipstogo Maybe he didn't want to annoy people who were in a hurry or aren't into that. His job is to provide the class he provided.

Not everyone is into Rememberance Sunday, for instance pacifists etc, so some people might've complained if he did it, especially if all they wanted was a class. It's an ideological thing in a way (though I approve of it myself) and it's best for people ruunning classes etc to avoid stuff like that and just do what they've paid for.

I used to run a class and happened to respond to someone's discussion about an issue. Some people didn't like what I said and didn't come back.

You mightn't think Rememberance day is controversial/divisive @Mushypeasandchipstogo , but it is for some people so bet avoided by an instructor.

I would assume that anyone wanting to observe the silence wouldn't be in a gym class at 11am.

Ah ok @Lemonsyellow , that makes sense. A more obscure day then that an instructor/gym mightn't even know about. And even if they do Rememberance day, they're not going to do the silence on 2 days.

Agree that forced respect isn't respect. If I've ever had to stop in Tesco I'm not thinking about soldiers, I'm thinking about what I'm in that aisle for and where I'm going next. At school today I was thinking about "Fucks sake they're still washing their hands why won't they hurry up. Gah that child is fidgeting, better make eye contact. Oop better make a shush gesture to her"

@Mommabear20

I don't think YABU at all! I had to take DC to do the weekly food shop this morning and at 1 year old got my DD to (mostly) partake. There wasn't one done by the store which I was upset by but made sure to stop and pay my respects. Sadly, it seems we as a nation have indeed forgotten them 😢

They haven't been forgotten, don't be dramatic. It should be a very personal observance, however you choose to do it. We don't all need to bow our heads solemnly in a supermarket- I had a look through our old family photos as the men we lost, and imagined the grief of my ancestors.

I think it is a shame. As for the wrong side of 50 - so am I and I have an memory of being about 7 and walking through Parliament Square with my sister when everybody around us just stopped. I had no idea why, but was told after it was the 2 minutes silence. It really had a big impact on me and I think it is a shame it is not observed so much any more.

I think when people want to squeeze in their two minutes' silence at the end of gym class, they themselves are not being especially respectful.

YANBU in my opinion. You did the right thing but there is a lot of imperfection in the world. You can expect people who are self-centre all year round to make an exception today.

"and the wrong side of 50*

So you're no older than 49 ....

YABU, I always observe it but I don’t get cross if other people don’t, particularly while working.

Also surely you didn't expect a shop to force its customers to stand in silence.

I used to work in Waitrose and we did. We’d announce it on the tannoy at 5 to that it was happening, and then at 11 announce the start. They had someone at the door stopping people come in during it. We had to stop work on the tills, which was always a bit awkward if the particular customer you were serving didn’t want to wait but you couldn’t (in a totally silent shop where no one was moving) just keep beeping things through. One year there was a complete arsehole who continues walking round the shop (totally fine if you don’t want to do the silence) but he was also whistling a jolly little tune.

@BeyondOurReef

I’m sure it also used to be a minute of silence. There’s been inflation.

I agree that the whole performative and judgemental nature of it these days is actually disrespectful if anything. As is the very odd commercialisation around it - buying special poppy broaches with a ‘donation’ to charity included in the price and so on.

It’s quite depressing really.

You mean like this special edition rum in a grenade-shaped bottle isn't a sincere, thoughtful remembrance?

Or if you prefer your remembrance a bit more literal, we could all follow the very remembery example of this family and their skip...

Or, my personal favourite, these custom poppy Adidas. Y'know, founded-by-a-Nazi-Adidas.

I find it all really weird. If you want to remember those who fought for the country, fantastic. But it used to be about quiet reflection and respect and now it seems to be "how much poppy tat can we flog in November, how red can we paint the outside of our pub, and how upset can we get if someone refuses to remember the hardest they've ever remembered and wear a giant poppy on their head to show such remembrance?"

YABU.
They fought for our freedom to make decisions, and not be dictated to.

Until fairly recently people weren't expected to stop at 11am on 11th Nov - that is why we have remembrance Sunday. So most people can attend ceremonies, parades, services together on what always used to be a nonworking day. You can still go and do that on Sunday.
Or you could have gone to the numerous ceremonies that have happened today, in all sorts of places.
Or watch the ceremonies that will be on TV over the weekend.
Or, you could have missed your class.

Or, you could have got out early as you did.
Or, you could have taken a few minutes at any point today to be silent and reflect.

I would have been quite cross if something I had booked and paid for for an hour was cut short, when I fully expect to pay my respects and fall silent at the weekend.

We either have a minutes silence to honour the sacrifice made in war, or we don't. I was in a yoga class when 11am fell and we all observed a minutes silence & reflection-there was a tannoy announcement just beforehand so everyone could observe this. Is yr gym part of a chain OP? I would mention it to management.

I wish we could go back to how things were before the Blair-era politicisation of war commemoration, when remembance was sincere, low-key, private, and tinged with a sense of tragedy rather than jingoistic pride.

I believe that the Blair govt's ramping up of public symbols of commemoration began in a harmless enough way -- there was a general feeling that the generation directly affected by the second world war was slipping away, and it felt important to honour them as the 'big' round-number anniversaries of major war events came and went.

But it has ended up making remembrance performative, confrontational, tribal, nationalist, inauthentic. The antithesis of what remembrance used to be, especially in the years after the First World War, when it was a recognition of the pointlessness of slaughter, and didn't spin it into grand patriotic feel-good tropes. Tropes that are so bland now that (as I remember from a couple of years ago) they can be woven into adverts for Sainsbury's and biscuits.

As it happens, I was at a gym class too, and ours did stop for the silence. Fine - I was plaesed to have a chance to join in. But I would ahve been equally happy if they had carried on with the class. I can takes a short reflective silence whenever I need to, alone and at home.

I didn't observe it and I would not have been happy to have it forced on me. You did want to partake and did so. It would have been unnecessary for others to have been forced to to please you. Leaving it to personal preference is ideal.