@PiglingBlonde
And even less so if Alice was wrong and it wasn't an affair. How long should a separated person wait before dating again? Is there any point at which IG would be allowed to do so?
It depends on individual circumstances which we don't know about in this case. Personally, if my DH left me now, after twenty five years plus of marriage, I wouldn't want another relationship with anyone else, ever.
We don't know the circumstances about when IG started getting serious with this other woman. Eighteen months seems quite short a time after a 20 year relationship and a fourteen year marriage and two DC. I certainly wouldn't have recovered from my theoretical break up by the eighteen month stage, but that's just me. Other people move on much quicker.
And yes, to answer other posts, one is allowed to fall out of love and leave a marriage of course, providing, imho, that both parties give one another the opportunity to do everything they can (providing relationship isn't abusive of course) to discuss and sort out the issues between them , and give the relationship and the offspring from it, the proper respect they deserve.
Slightly off the point but I once saw some talk show bod talking about meeting friends who had split up, slimmer, fitter, bubbling over with enthusiasm about new hobbies, saying that it was a shame there wasn't the space for them to do that within the original relationship as the grass isn't always greener, and the same issues tend to follow people around, whoever they are with, unless they confront them honestly. I think there is a lot of truth in that.
So I think sometimes it's impossible but other times more work could be put in to a relationship before you leave it, and if it can't be saved, each party know that they have done everything they can and the issues are clear. The couple have communicated openly before splitting, and there has been an opportunity to air grievances. Woman often feel a need to be heard in those circumstances.
Unfortunately what happens in reality is that a man closes down, despite questioning from his wife over many months about what is possibly wrong, he pretends everything is fine, and then he leaves suddenly with no communication, leaving the wife to think that it's all her fault and their entire marriage has been a lie.
And not always but more frequently than you might imagine, a few months or a year or so down the line, another , usually younger , woman emerges out of the wings. It happened to my best friend who is the loveliest, funniest, most positive and selfless person I know. So AE isn't imagining things that are beyond the realms of possibility tbh but that's just my personal opinion.