To Agree with Money Saving Expert?

[backtolifebacktoreality]

Martin Lewis said this a few years back. I think it's very very true!

"Christmas has become a retail festival and it shouldn't be. Christmas should be joyous but causes some people unhappiness, debt and worry. Many people feel obliged to buy gifts for others that they know they won't use, with money they don't have, and cause themselves stress they don't need ... The gift of giving can be selfish as it can mis-prioritise people's finances and create a financial burden. If you give a gift to someone they're effectively forced to buy you one back ... It's time for us to get off this gift giving treadmill. Sometimes the best gift is releasing others from the obligation of having to give to you. Let's work together to ban unnecessary Christmas presents ... (However, if you feel you want to give something) Do a Secret Santa or give to charity instead".

Should be noted that this was written in the context of suggesting introducing a 'No Unnecessary Presents Pact' (NUPP) - from memory.

So, not for everyone but probably relevant to a lot of threads discussing the exchanging of tatt/expensive stuff between people that don't necessarily want or are able to afford it.

He isn't saying 'no-one should buy any presents' just that it's a good idea to consider whether it's always the best idea.

Was some discussion here
www.moneysavingexpert.com/team-blog/2013/11/will-you-be-signing-a-no-unnecessary-present-pact-this-christmas/

Totally agree. When my children were younger the misery of buying tat just because it was Christmas spoiled the whole celebration.

YANBU, if surveys are accurate the UK spends over £2 billion on unwanted Xmas presents and the US over $15 billion. The planet really cant afford it, we cant afford it, we need to just stop doing it and not worry about people being offended.

This was actually something he said on his show in 2018. I remember hearing it and thinking how accurate it was.

I have friends who over indulge in their present buying. As lovely as it is, everyone around them then has to raise their game to keep up with them! It just gets out of hand!

I think everyone should be given permission to go out and spend what they'd usually spend on presents on themselves. Kids excluded I suppose.
I really agree there's so much giving of 'stuff' for the sake of it. It's also a bit weird when you have two sides of a family who do things differently - some are transactional, some love choosing nice presents, etc

Sometimes the best gift is releasing others from the obligation of having to give to you.

This is so true!

This is so true.

Who's going to be the first to stop giving though? Some people will be pleased and relieved. Some will be offended and get the hump.

It needs a conversation first, with the family and work colleagues and friends. To just stop buying gifts is risky.

He's so right.

@LittleDandelionClock

Who's going to be the first to stop giving though? Some people will be pleased and relieved. Some will be offended and get the hump.

It needs a conversation first, with the family and work colleagues and friends. To just stop buying gifts is risky.

Yes, a conversation definitely needs to take place first. The other party will probably be relieved too.

Growing up I knew a woman who always took out a loan every year to buy Christmas presents for her kids. Essentially giving money to the bank for the privilege of keeping a hedonic treadmill running for the kids. Madness.

I watched the show when he said that. Totally agree with him.

I would love to not buy presents at all
There is only one child in the family and they would still get presents even if I stopped for others
Sadly my family don’t agree so I feel I have to fit in

I started WW3 in the family several years ago as I asked for either book vouchers or a book or something.
Apparently speaking to my colleagues at work it turned out I was ungrateful cow because somebody made an effort to go and buy me lots of stuff and I didn’t appreciate it (stuff U neither wanted or needed)
It took a few years of upset and repeating ourselves and we made ourselves clear.
Nobody should feel obligated to give me a gift so no gift- no problem,I don’t expect it.
However,if you insist on buying me a gift I’ll point you to stuff I want- book or soap or chutney/jam from local maker. Nothing to break the bank,I’ll be delighted and the giver will hopefully feel fulfilled.
Now everybody gets what they want and everybody’s happy. No plastic tat,no crap and no 5 pair of gloves knitted from organically farmed llamas in Nepal 🙄 and similar nonsense.

We already kind of do this. We only buy gifts for our own dc and no-one else apart from a bottle of wine or something for my mum. We just don't have the money. In total, Christmas costs us about £150 all in including the food and the wrapping paper.

Something else that I think we should cut back on: Christmas themed things that get thrown away and bought new the following year such as Xmas jumpers (fair enough if you keep yours for use year in, year out), Xmas bog roll, tree decs and tinsel etc that people buy and then just throw away rather than save for next year, Xmas eve boxes and the associated shit that gets put in them and now there's even 1st December boxes. Yes, it's all too much.

It's not just Christmas either: look at Hallowe'en and Valentine's day and all the crap that people buy for that.

I'd also stopped sending cards a number of years ago and give a small donation to my favourite charity instead. It's not about the price of the cards as such, but stamps are expensive, cards get thrown away after a couple of weeks, I can leave a Happy Christmas message on social media and (the main factor) I can't be arsed to write them all out!!!

I know a couple who actually remortgaged to pay for Christmas presents for their 4 kids. Absolute madness.

We went down this route a few years ago. Kids all adults, three of my 4 have partners plus my brother and his wife, and my Mum and it was getting silly.
So now DD2 does a quick spreadsheet and allocates each couple in the family another couple to buy for.. Limit £100 per couple.
(My DS2 will probably never have a partner.. autism and LDs so he is supposed to spend less and we all get my Mum a small gift)

Works great! It means we think carefully about our gifts (or even better, tell our buyers what we would like) but no one is overstretched, there is no stress involved.

The Grinch has something to say about this

There was supposed to be a photo attached….

Oops!

We don't buy for anyone, haven't for years, and no-one buys for us.
We don't buy for each other either - not after the "plastic handbag incident"!

My family stopped doing presents, it is all pointless. My in laws love sending each other (and me) tat though, but I don’t get involved at all. It’s my husband’s problem and he can’t summon the courage to nip it in the bud. If he wants to buy tat for them and put my name on the card, fine.

I’m not sure I even agree about giving that many presents to kids either (I give my nephews a bit of pocket money). Surely it’s just setting them up for a lifetime of tat-expectations that they’ll have to break out of themselves? All the guff you read about the magic in their eyes on Christmas morning when they see the pile of presents - surely it’s just greed? Why encourage it?

And yes, humbug.

I do actually love Christmas, just not all the aspirational bullshit. A couple of weeks off work, peaceful evenings in by the fire, a twinkling Christmas tree and a cheese board. That’ll do.

We cut right back on the arms race several years ago by mutual consent. In our extended family we pull names out of a hat for adults so you only buy for one other adult, max. £50 budget. We all buy for the kids but a sensible amount and club together for more expensive items. Everyone talks to their giftee to get a wishlist or steer on preferences so there is no tat and wastage. It works really well and we focus on being together instead of stressing ourselves out buying stuff we don’t want or need.

Once we outgrew Father Christmas/Santa Claus in our extended family, we did Secret Santa, and all gifts had an upper price limit. Sure took the pressure off!