Rich mums taking all the second hand stuff first

[Housepartyatjustinshouse]

In a local mums group with lots of lovely mums.
We often post if we have toys/clothes to give free, that the children have grown out of.
Just recently I’m noticing more and more that when toys/clothes are posted, the same few mums get it there first.
They are mums that don’t work (don’t need to) and live in million pound houses and clearly don’t need to worry.
It just seems a little unfair that I and the more *Average mums seem to lose out, when they could buy a lot easier than we could?
I’m in a two bed flat and missed out (again) in a huge selection of toys my Ds would go crazy for. I can’t afford to buy them new and it would’ve really helped at Christmas.
Is this fair? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Could you suggest a 'fair offer policy' which would mean the person chooses someone at random after a certain amount of time? Would give more people the chance to see it and add their name to the hat.

they are probably rich from getting all this free and cheap stuff!
some people do seem to be glued to their phones 24/7 so get in quick

Gosh, I feel like this thread is turning into a SAHM and “rich family” bashing. I’m neither by the way but it just seems some people are using this an opportunity to be very judgemental and nasty!

Rich ppl aren't rich through being careless with their money. DP's aunts and uncles live in million pound houses and are all tighter than a duck's arse

My neighbour owns twenty houses and four shops but drives around in a 53 plate Zafira with a missing wheel trim

My friend owns four houses and always goes straight to the reduced section in Tesco first

OP I totally agree with you. I'm sorry you're getting some nasty comments here.

I suspect most of the people saying you're unreasonable are also the type of people who say rich people work hard for their money and anyway 100K/year doesn't actually make you rich.

Just ask that people don't give to the first people that respond. Ask if they could draw a name after 24 hours. That's what I do

[quote Housepartyatjustinshouse]@halloweenqwueeeen ‘Scummy mummies’ what are those? The ones with less money?[/quote]
The opposite to the often discussed yummy mummy’s

Lead the way OP. Post a giveaway but explicitly say you’d like to prioritise those who would struggle to buy and haven’t benefitted from giveaways before. I’d also say that you’ll leave up for 24 hours as a simmer, again so working mums get the chance to bid.

My two most well off friends both volunteer at a centre for processing donations for a charity shop chain. The are allowed to cherrypick all the best stuff for token payments, and then all the grubby Primark stuff heads into the stores to be marked up at £5 for a top...

You sound very entitled. How can you be sure you wouldn’t be taken something someone who had less than you would have wanted? If people want it give to charity they give to charity. If people want to give to other mothers for convenience or environmental reasons then it’s there for anyone who wants it, not just those you think should have it.

My local area has a children’s clothes exchange, lots of ‘rich mums’ use it too as it is a reasonably wealthy area. The premise is that you bring in clothes you’ve outgrown and then take whatever you want.

I use it and certainly could easily afford to buy all new clothes if I wanted. It seems wasteful though, especially when children go through them so quickly particularly for nursery and messy play clothes.

I also volunteer with them and the quality of the clothes is excellent, mostly John Lewis, Next, M&S, Jojo, Joules and Boden. They get so many donations at the exchange that it takes between four and six of us a couple of hours each a week to sort them into the correct categories and size. More towns should set things like this up for everyone to use, whether they are ‘rich’ or not.

Oh and also I favour mums who are young and single and live in crappy areas.

I give quite a lot of stuff away for free via Facebook.

OP would probably think I am 'rich'. I work long hours too, so I post stuff at weekends and evenings.

Usually on a first come first served basis. Although sometimes I don't give stuff to people who don't ask nicely. I cannot possibly tell how well off the people asking are however.

We should all be getting things second-hand if we can. Regardless of income level.

That said, I would tend to buy things second-hand rather than take things being offered for free (unless by a close friend) because we can afford to do so.

@GatoradeMeBitch

My two most well off friends both volunteer at a centre for processing donations for a charity shop chain. The are allowed to cherrypick all the best stuff for token payments, and then all the grubby Primark stuff heads into the stores to be marked up at £5 for a top...

Name and shame the chain.

I suspect most of the people saying you're unreasonable are also the type of people who say rich people work hard for their money

Err sorry you think rich people don’t work hard for their money? How so? Do you shadow them in their jobs or?

Tough OP.
Go and search for 2nd toys elsewhere. Get creative & use some initiative.

@THisbackwithavengeance

I haven't experienced this type of group tbh but agree that a lot of rich people sell things on Facebook etc.

I always remember picking up an item that would've cost £15 new from Facebook marketplace; she was selling for a fiver. She lived in a mansion with a Bentley in the forecourt. I have to admit handing over my fiver with my eyebrows somewhere in my hairline.

Why? You were obviously happy to pay £5 for the item. Why would someone give things away for free when they could sell them? Also posting things for free is always a nightmare with absolute chancers and time wasters so it's often worth charging a token amount just to weed out those people

If you’re struggling to clothe your child through bad weather that indicates an inability to adequately provide to me. Very tough for the op no doubt but not the job of other mothers to fix when they’re just being eco conscious as we’ve all been told to be.

So it's more important to be eco conscious than human-conscious? To care more about saving a few pieces of plastic than other people?

YANBU, it doesn't seem remotely fair.

Well I don't work currently - not because I don't need to, the extra money would be nice. We just about getting by on on dp's 35 grand a year earnings... never got much spare though. I do tend to buy what we do have new though. cba with selling sites.

Anyway, I know what you mean I guess. I know some rich people who buy hardly anything for their kids new. Maybe this is why some people are rich because they are super frugal!

There's a woman over the road from me and she sells things on fb for like 20p each. Every little helps I guess but what she's selling is complete crap and not even worth 20p. She's loaded too 😅

If anyone lives in Leeds I volunteer at a children’s clothes bank. It’s about recycling mostly & we are drowning in clothes! Please take them off our hands

@Thatsthewaytis

It’s unfortunate but they are doing the right thing getting second hand stuff. It’s unfair to say they’re not leaving it for the poorer mums as they shouldn’t be doing this to then go buy brand new versions of likely wasteful plastic stuff for their children.

This.

Plus agree with PP that you could be more proactive eg post on group something like "wow thanks so much for sharing. Looks great! If anyone else has anything similar they are getting rid of I'd love to know as always miss these posts when I'm working " ..

@dreamingbohemian

If you’re struggling to clothe your child through bad weather that indicates an inability to adequately provide to me. Very tough for the op no doubt but not the job of other mothers to fix when they’re just being eco conscious as we’ve all been told to be.

So it's more important to be eco conscious than human-conscious? To care more about saving a few pieces of plastic than other people?

Have you listened to the news lately?

and that is why they are rich.