Rich mums taking all the second hand stuff first

[Housepartyatjustinshouse]

In a local mums group with lots of lovely mums.
We often post if we have toys/clothes to give free, that the children have grown out of.
Just recently I’m noticing more and more that when toys/clothes are posted, the same few mums get it there first.
They are mums that don’t work (don’t need to) and live in million pound houses and clearly don’t need to worry.
It just seems a little unfair that I and the more *Average mums seem to lose out, when they could buy a lot easier than we could?
I’m in a two bed flat and missed out (again) in a huge selection of toys my Ds would go crazy for. I can’t afford to buy them new and it would’ve really helped at Christmas.
Is this fair? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Haha Purple! ‘I scrimp on the bill so waiters don’t feel like I own them’ yeahhh I’m sure they will be very grateful…

@JennyDune haha I didn’t think it mattered that much to me! But here I am feeling really quite passionate about it! I guess I don’t like stingy people that scrimp at the expense of those less well off.

@AuntieMarys

We are comfortable. I have bought dh's grandchildren secondhand things for Xmas....a wooden dolls house and train track, dh will put cash in their account. The other grandma thinks I am awful. She has spent a fortune and has taken out a payday loan to pay for it. Who's the mug????

I think if I were the child, I’d prefer the other grandma though. Soz. Just being honest.

I order what I want to eat and drink because it's what I want to eat and drink. It has nothing to do with the waiter and little or nothing to do with the bill. If selling me the items I order at the price they charge isn't sufficiently profitable, they can change their prices any time they want. It's on them to readjust their prices as needed, not on me to rearrange my eating habits to ensure maximum profitability for the restaurant.

And I rather doubt someone who orders water because they can't afford anything else is "more well off" than the restaurant owner, or even the waiter.

And I rather doubt someone who orders water because they can't afford anything else is "more well off" than the restaurant owner, or even the waiter.

Poster on this thread ordered tap water to save for their million quid house 😂

The where's the line? If someone can afford the most expensive filet mignon and wine combo on the menu, is it morally wrong for them decide they'd rather have spaghetti and a soft drink?

@Glassofshloer

And I rather doubt someone who orders water because they can't afford anything else is "more well off" than the restaurant owner, or even the waiter.

Poster on this thread ordered tap water to save for their million quid house 😂

You don’t want to address this do you 😆

My last post was addressing it. Clearly she could afford it, and instead chose to spend her money on other things. Most would agree that saving for a house is a better use of funds than buying alcohol, or even than buying soft drinks. Why does the fact she could afford something obligate her to actually buy that thing, to the point where it's morally wrong for her not to?

@Glassofshloer

And I rather doubt someone who orders water because they can't afford anything else is "more well off" than the restaurant owner, or even the waiter.

Poster on this thread ordered tap water to save for their million quid house 😂

Just to clarify, the tap water was a specific example of a wider lifestyle. At the end of the day it was all the little things that added up. (E.g. second hands toys/books, tap water, staycations, not wasting money, buying during sales, no sky, etc...)

Sorry im probably going on a tangent.

Yes, all the yummy mummies were mingling with folk on the breadline at sure start. Cos they wanted Arabella and Tarquin to have an enriched childhood experience, n'est pas

@Lougle

This is why a lot of Sure Start centres were shut. Their 'reach' was to the yummy mummies who wanted their children to have every experience, etc., when they were trying to get to the hard to reach families.

The Sure Start centres are still open where I am and the staff themselves report that the 'yummy mummies' using the services (as well as the people in need) are one of the things that have kept them open!

The paid for classes etc I should say.

TBH it sounds like you either need to split your break or just eat something cold like cereal. Also, it is hard for many people to eat breakfast early, before work. I don’t have any choice so either have to force myself to eat or go without until lunch.

Haven’t read the whole thread but every one commenting on yummy mummies and million quid houses using sure start centres. I used them and I don’t have a mortgage. I had severe PND after my kid was born, no local family support and was excruciatingly lonely. Sure start centres saved my life. So maybe stop judging on people’s need to use these kind of services. Just because you’re wealthy doesn’t mean you don’t need access to services after a baby is born. Plus some “wealthy” mums I know have no access to money. That’s why they buy second hand stuff. The husband keeps them poor and they have to kit out their kids on whatever housekeeping they are given.

I have done various waitressing jobs when I was younger and have literally never anything negative about people who just ask for a jug of water the table - not everyone drinks alcohol, and lots of people see fizzy drinks as more of a kids thing.

Wow so many people on this thread with an outrageous chip on their shoulders.

@Glassofshloer so because you drink excessively with your food everyone else has to too? No one is allowed to eat or drink what they want? They have to keep ordering more . I like one glass of wine with a meal that’s it. I don’t want to guzzle multiple glasses of wine and sugar laden soft drinks whenever I go out for dinner like you do.

Love the poster too who said wealthy people who care about the environment shouldn’t be buying anything at all. So we’re really now in a place where people think the children of wealthy people should have no toys at all - shouldn’t buy new re environment and aren’t allowed buy or use second hand cause apparently because that’s only for children of less well off people.

Never heard such nonsense.

Op sounds so entitled. If it was for less well off people she shouldn’t be taking it either - she said she can provide just fine for her child so really the stuff should be going to someone who can’t then surely?

@PurpleOkapi

The where's the line? If someone can afford the most expensive filet mignon and wine combo on the menu, is it morally wrong for them decide they'd rather have spaghetti and a soft drink?

Indeed! I can't believe @glassofshloer is ordering £6 glasses of wine. Disgusting when they could order a more expensive glass. Yuck.

Yabu. I buy my DD toys and clothes second hand (always have) and it's first come first buy. People are really struggling this year

@Glassofshloer

What have you got against water? Out of everything I'd ever enjoy drinking, it's by far the healthiest choice. I have water with meals all the time at home, too. Sorry my dietary choices don't meet with your approval, but I'm not "ripping people off" by ordering what I want to eat/drink rather than what would be most lucrative for the restaurant. Neither is @JennyDune.

Great, so sit and drink water at home. There’s nothing wrong with ordering it alongside wine or soft drinks, but as a sole drink, is tight and mean. Order a proper mineral water and pay for it if you are only drinking water. People who expect to be served ‘free’ tap water all night make me cringe.

And no I’m not Jenny; I’m just somebody who expects to pay for everything I receive in a restaurant, and not penny pinch the people who are waiting on me.

ODFOD

I'm not ordering soft drinks because I don't want to drink sugary drinks. I don't order alcohol because I don't like it either.

So yes I'll carry on ordering tap water thanks. And no I won't buy mineral water when what comes out of the tap is fine.

There isn't huge profit margins on bottled water anyway. But there is on food. So if a restaurant doesn't want my custom cos I'm tap water drinker then they lose more money than they would if I came, ate and drank tap water.

That’s why they are rich and you aren’t.

It is grabby to take everything for free if you are well off or comfortable and not leave it for someone who is struggling to get by.

And tap water has been drunk before.

Sorry I've not read the thread, but the debate on water seems worthy of a thread in its own right.

I came on to say I remember a similar situation when DS was younger. I work so am desperate for holiday care, and there was a prized and oversubscribed almost free sports camp at a neighbouring school, except you had to know when booking opened and be on the phone straight away.

Never managed to get a place, but some non working DMs I knew always got one as they had time to check the dates and didn't have to commute into work so could dial on the dot of eight.

Obviously it was open to all, so completely my fault I didn't keep up to date with the details, but it struck me as unfair when I absolutely needed childcare that other DCs were going who didn't require it.

I'd order a glass of tap water if having a quick lunch , but fizzy water if out in the evening.

@THisbackwithavengeance

I haven't experienced this type of group tbh but agree that a lot of rich people sell things on Facebook etc.

I always remember picking up an item that would've cost £15 new from Facebook marketplace; she was selling for a fiver. She lived in a mansion with a Bentley in the forecourt. I have to admit handing over my fiver with my eyebrows somewhere in my hairline.

Why?

This thread is ridiculous.
What on earth is wrong with someone in a Bentley buying off FB?!
Maybe put a disclaimer on next time '' for sale, but only for people I think look poor enough. ''

Just re read that comment, it was her selling, but that's just as ridiculous - why can't someone with a Bentley and a big house sell their old toys cheaply on FB?!