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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report this mum to the police - let my DD ride without a seatbelt

490 replies

YourFinestPantaloons · 08/11/2021 19:53

DD (9) attends football and another mum from school (whose DD also is part of the club) offered to take them to football practice after school tonight.

I said yes, and had no reason not to trust her, I'd taken her DD before. I said shall I leave a car seat at school reception - she said no, they have a spare they will bring.

It turns out that not only did they forget the spare car seat, the seatbelt in the back (middle) wasn't working. She was giving another child a lift, meaning 4 children in total (including her 2 DC) were in the car. She made DD, as the oldest, sit in the middle in the back and drove 5 miles with no seatbelt on and no car seat.

I'm absolutely furious. I rang her after DD grassed and she said they were running late and didn't want to call me at work and couldn't think of another way to get to football, and it's '5 miles of quiet road'.

WIBU to report her to the police or should I calm down? I'm so angry, I would not be going to football if this was me, they'd have to skip a week, I can't believe she put my DD at risk.

OP posts:
FreeBritnee · 08/11/2021 20:50

You sound completely unhinged. Go to bed.

Vickles20 · 08/11/2021 20:51

I’d be pissed and would let her know I wasn’t happy. And I wouldn’t allow my child to go with her again. Calling the police is an over reaction

Original poster
YourFinestPantaloons · 08/11/2021 20:51

@Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov

What in the honour of god value is there in a child holding a seatbelt together. Give me strength. I didn't do physics but surely you can work out that that's a waste of time?
Don't you know children when travelling have Hulk-like strength in their arms and in the event of a crash, the seatbelt simply stays in place 🤣🤣🤣🤣

That's only done to pretend that a child is wearing a belt in case the police etc pass the car

OP posts:
Original poster
YourFinestPantaloons · 08/11/2021 20:52

@FreeBritnee

You sound completely unhinged. Go to bed.
No, I'm watching MAFS, go to bed yourself

Unhinged because someone drove my child without a seatbelt Confused god some people live by really poor standards

OP posts:
WonderfulYou · 08/11/2021 20:53

FFS don’t call the police. They are over stretched enough as it is.
It was a 5-10min journey so just let it go. In future just take her yourself.

Pascal80 · 08/11/2021 20:53

Leave it out fgs the police have enough to do.

Againstmachine · 08/11/2021 20:55

Unhinged because someone drove my child without a seatbelt confused god some people live by really poor standards

No you don't let her do it again, obsessing is unhinged.

Sweettea1 · 08/11/2021 20:56

Yes call the overworked under staffed police am sure they have nothing better todo.

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 08/11/2021 20:56

@YourFinestPantaloons
Where in the country are you ? My force has a website where you can report antisocial driving, seatbelt wearing comes under it. There is a special team of civvy staff that send out letters and deal with frequent offenders. It's called Op Crackdown.

Skyla2005 · 08/11/2021 20:57

No I wouldn't call the police and I don't think a nine year old needs a seat ! I would be annoyed but chalk it up to experience and don't let her take her again. Move on

Thatsplentyjack · 08/11/2021 20:57

Fucking hell mumsnet is a mind fuck sometimes. On one thread you've got people adamant that children should be in 25 point harness rear facing seats until they are are at least 16, and then on another people claiming that a 9 year old in the middle seat of a car with no seat belt is no big deal!

itsallgoingpearshaped · 08/11/2021 20:58

I'd be furious. Note she didn't put her own child in the seat that didn't have a functioning seatbelt; she put OP's child in that seat.

I wouldn't call the police, but she wouldn't be travelling with her again.

ballsdeep · 08/11/2021 20:58

@Willyoujustbequiet

I'd go ballistic.

I'd report - the police will ring her and have a word. She's not going to get a criminal record or anything but hopefully it will bring her to her senses a bit.

How much time do you think the police have FFS
LuckyHindleyBells · 08/11/2021 21:01

Are you actually serious OP? This is a wind up isn't it? Of course yabu to report to police! Wow.

CheshireChat · 08/11/2021 21:06

My just turned 7yo is 4ft2, didn't realise it's only needed until 4ft4, he's still in one of those full booster seats!

Aren't seat belts pretty useless until 5ft or so (that's my height!). Airbags as well.

Original poster
YourFinestPantaloons · 08/11/2021 21:07

@Againstmachine

Unhinged because someone drove my child without a seatbelt confused god some people live by really poor standards

No you don't let her do it again, obsessing is unhinged.

What makes you think I'm obsessing Confused it's a MN thread about the very situation, am I supposed to make idle chit chat? Please don't make things up it's very embarrassing for you
OP posts:
shouldistop · 08/11/2021 21:07

I can't believe some people think this isn't a big deal Shock

I'd be absolutely furious and my child wouldn't be going in her car again. The police will do absolutely nothing though, they don't go around telling people off.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 08/11/2021 21:07

@itsallgoingpearshaped

I'd be furious. Note she didn't put her own child in the seat that didn't have a functioning seatbelt; she put OP's child in that seat.

I wouldn't call the police, but she wouldn't be travelling with her again.

Agree with this
Original poster
YourFinestPantaloons · 08/11/2021 21:08

@Skyla2005

No I wouldn't call the police and I don't think a nine year old needs a seat ! I would be annoyed but chalk it up to experience and don't let her take her again. Move on
Mine does, according to the law.

And all humans need a seatbelt

OP posts:
shouldistop · 08/11/2021 21:09

@BlameItOnTheBlackStar

This exact thing happened to me today! Went to drive son's friend home and for some reason the belt just wouldn't work.

He held it in place and I drove really carefully.

If his Mum phoned the police on me I would be absolutely fucking gobsmacked.

What would my alternative have been? To make a 9 year old walk three miles home over fields in the pitch dark?

Your response is absolutely ridiculous.

Taxi? Phoning someone else for a lift?
Luredbyapomegranate · 08/11/2021 21:09

@Wondergirl100

OP please calm down. The police will not be remotely interested and you will hugely sour your relationship with local mums.

She probably thought oh shit I have to get them there and just drove slowly - of course its wrong but not everyone feels as strongly about car seats and belts.

I have a 9 year old and this wouldn't bother me - I would just be glad another parent had got my kids to football and would make a note not to rely on them again. I am not saying you are wrong to be upset but I think you have to just take a deep breath and realise you and this woman don't see this in the same way.

This.

Completely understandable you are annoyed, but your reaction is very strong - there’s no point taking it any further. Nothing happened. Let it be.

whynotwhatknot · 08/11/2021 21:11

they all need a car seat up to a certain height or age 12 whichever comes first

shes out of order op ignore the idiots on here

shouldistop · 08/11/2021 21:12

@Skyla2005

Children must normally use a child car seat until they're 12 years old or 135 centimetres tall, whichever comes first. Children over 12 or more than 135cm tall must wear a seat belt.

MintyGreenDream · 08/11/2021 21:12

This happened to me,I just didn't let ds go in that car again

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 08/11/2021 21:13

I wonder how many posters would be as blasé as they think the OP should have been had this been one of their own children.

Nobody knows when they are going to be involved in an RTC and unfortunately I am involved in too many serious injury and fatal accidents at work to laugh off someone letting my daughter travel without a seatbelt for 5 MILES.

She should have called you, OP, and asked what you wanted to do.