To report this mum to the police - let my DD ride without a seatbelt

[YourFinestPantaloons]

DD (9) attends football and another mum from school (whose DD also is part of the club) offered to take them to football practice after school tonight.

I said yes, and had no reason not to trust her, I'd taken her DD before. I said shall I leave a car seat at school reception - she said no, they have a spare they will bring.

It turns out that not only did they forget the spare car seat, the seatbelt in the back (middle) wasn't working. She was giving another child a lift, meaning 4 children in total (including her 2 DC) were in the car. She made DD, as the oldest, sit in the middle in the back and drove 5 miles with no seatbelt on and no car seat.

I'm absolutely furious. I rang her after DD grassed and she said they were running late and didn't want to call me at work and couldn't think of another way to get to football, and it's '5 miles of quiet road'.

WIBU to report her to the police or should I calm down? I'm so angry, I would not be going to football if this was me, they'd have to skip a week, I can't believe she put my DD at risk.

You're not wrong to be angry, but she knows that now. Going to the police would be a massive overreaction.

I wouldn't report, no. If she had ended up taking the bus due to no car seats then no one would be wearing a seat belt. It's not great but nothing happened and you can choose to not ask her for any more favours next time.

There’s no evidence except the word of a child

She confirmed it

I totally understand why you are so angry, she was incredibly irresponsible and if she thought it was OK should have put her own child in the middle seat.

However - I am not sure you can phone the police. If you really want to you could phone 101 and ask them whether it is even reportable.

What you definitely can do now is never let your child in her car again and tell everyone why.

You are massively overreacting . I agree that what she did wasn't right but quite honestly you've done what you need to and told her you are not happy. In future take DD yourself and that's the end of it.

I think police are massively snowed under with work so I doubt they'd want you wasting their time with it. They can't do anything, they didn't see what happened and it would be your word against the other parent,

@Dutchesss

I wouldn't report, no. If she had ended up taking the bus due to no car seats then no one would be wearing a seat belt. It's not great but nothing happened and you can choose to not ask her for any more favours next time.

Good point

"She confirmed it" isn't going to be a great help to the police or in a court of law.

Calm down and don't let her take your child anywhere again,

I wouldn’t report it but I wouldn’t let her transport my child again.

You are massively overreacting

Disagree with this, why do people minimise so much? The law was broken and it was the OP's child who was put at risk. It really wasn't acceptable.

Why would you even consider wasting the police's time with this?! Massive overreaction on your part.

I would possibly take the risk for the journey you describe. But with my own child. You can't take a risk with another child without the knowledge of the parent.

I completely agree with this. I don't think it's the end of the world but the fact that she put someone else's kid in that seat and not one of her own is very telling. As pp have said, just don't let DD ride with her again as she's clearly somewhat untrustworthy

I'd go ballistic.

I'd report - the police will ring her and have a word. She's not going to get a criminal record or anything but hopefully it will bring her to her senses a bit.

This would seriously piss me off. I wouldn't call the police, but I would be very angry at the person for putting my child's life in danger, just because they were the eldest. I would not be doing shared lifts again.

It's legal to do a one off short car journey without a car seat. I can take my 5 year old son in an Uber legally with no car seat. Wouldn't be happy about no seat belt though.

She's probably learnt her lesson by you having a go at her. Everyone got to a to b safely. Leave it there and don't let her drive your kids again.

Oh please ring the police. Please.

Then come back and tell us what happened.

For all those defending this woman, it's interesting that she didnt put either of her children in the seat with no belt....

You’re fine to be angry but the police don’t need to be involved, nor would they do anything!

Please dont waste police time with this

Please do ring the police and then pop back and let us know if they've attended on the blues & twos.

Alternatively you could get a hold of yourself and collect your own children from activities.

Do 9 year olds really have car seats these days

The police don’t even investigate rape and sexual assaults.
And given that it’s legal for children to travel in taxis without car seats…
Just have it out with the mum and don’t let her go again

I wouldn't call the police but I'd have nothing to do with her in the future.

The bus point isn't a good point as buses tend to fare safer in crashes than Renault Twingos

Police won't do anything as they need to catch someone in the act. Regardless of what you say