Why won't he SHUT UP?!

[fixlet]

I'm a teacher, so I usually work for about an hour on the laptop when I get home, replying to emails that stack up during the day, or planning etc.

My husband has usually been home for 45 minutes by himself by the time I get back from work. We have a quick catch up together, then I get on with my work before making a start on dinner.

However, during that hour of work, he makes constant noise, and it's PISSING ME OFF. He clears his throat constantly, blows his nose, slurps tea, chomps biscuits and tries to sing or talk with his mouth full, drums on the table, plays a game on his phone with the sound on, crashing around doing the dishwasher much louder than normal.... it's just constant. Even headphones don't make a difference.

He doesn't like it if I take myself off to the study to concentrate. If I go to the kitchen table, he follows me and sits next to me. Same if I take the laptop to the sofa.

Now, I do seem to struggle with eating noises generally. However, there is just something about that hour after work, when I'm tired and have dealt with noise and chat all day long from the kids, that is makes my blood boil.

I've told him and told him and told him that I can't cope with the noise and to leave me alone or let me go upstairs, but he gets all hurt and sad-eyed and mopes around.

AIBU to want to wring his neck?

Patio, shovel...

Go to another room and shut the door
If he follows you in order a door stop and shut the fucker out until you're ready to come out

What is it with men??

Noise cancelling headphones or ear-muffs. White noise playing on your laptop. USE THE STUDY.

DH talks when I'm writing the shopping list (terrible memory and have to concentrate), and when I'm trying to go to sleep. I hate that he's retired now.

YABU and oversensitive to complain about normal noises

How is drumming on a table normal noise?

Kill him.

Just go to the study. Just tell him you need quiet. Ignore the moping.

Do you have a quiet staff room at your school. Our teachers would go there after school to mark work and prep lessons, it was a no talking room. Many teachers when I was there (over ten years ago now) would work there after school instead of going home at the end of the school day.

Could you tell him that you’ll stay at work to do what needs doing if he can’t entertain himself for that time.

He sounds very annoying but my God, the references to violence on this thread... I know none of you are seriously going to stab/throttle your husbands, but it's a weird thing to take so lightly.

@fixlet

Oh god, *@Threewheeler1, yes. You're my soul sister :) He clicks and lip-smacks too! He also does this weird inward burp thing after having any sip of fizzy drink which drives me crazy at any point of the day. The peripheral vision thing too- that's why headphones don't work, because I can see* him doing whatever thing and then my brain tunes in to hearing it too.

The inward burp! With a little burst of air expelled out of the nostrils... Honestly, I'm feeling your pain!

He doesn't have to like it, he just needs to give you space

You are not AIBU. It sounds awful. Tries to sing or talk with mouth full - to sing!!! - oh my gosh. I do hope you just go upstairs, it isn't really up to him to "let" you go there methinks.

He sounds annoying and needy but you sound like you mother him, doing all the cooking because he can’t cook, not going to the study because he doesn’t like it. Just do it!

oh op that sounds dreadful! can I add mine?
where I wfh has 2 doors and JUST when I've packed the dc off to school and am settling down to work he comes in from his home office and BREATHES at me converstionally while standing at one door. I ignore, so THEN he circles the house and appears at the other door where our downstairs loo is off the foyer and proceeds to do a really graphic shit complete with groans.

I think any judge would let me off!

Just go to the study
I dont get why dont just do that ?

But his need for your company is not more important than your need for quiet while you work and, it seems as though you are both treating it as though it is.
It doesn’t matter whether he ‘likes it’ when you take yourself or to the study. He doesn’t get to like everything because no one does.

Just tell him you are working in the study for an hour and are not to be disturbed then he gets your full attention once you have finished

And do it, stop being a wuss about him being hurt and sad eyed and let him mope if he wants to

I wouldn't go home, I would buy a coffee and sit in the car, somewhere with a lovely view, and do my work, or stay at school and wind down for 15 minutes then do my work, Or just not go home . Ever.

Ps he sounds very immature.
It would give me "the ick "

I've said you are being unreasonable because you should just take yourself off to the study. Why on earth are you allowing this irritating excuse for a human being dictate to you?

Just go to the study!
Why are you bothered about upsetting him when he doesn't care about upsetting you with his ridiculous attention seeking behaviour.

I'd tell him he either leaves you alone for the hour you need to work or you will start doing that work at school so will be home much later

Go in the study. That hour after work, when you’re still in work mode, is golden. Sod his mopey eyes and hurt expression. He sounds like an extremely irritating puppy. Lock him in the kitchen.

"I'll be finished quicker if you go away".

I trot this out a lot!

I would go mad with this

I struggle when people can't sit still or be quiet on the Tube

How anyone lives with this is beyond me

Surely that's what they study is for? It's really weird of him to be arsey about you using it, he's not a toddler.