'Told off' by a random stranger

[hibye123]

I was on my way to an appointment with the Midwife this morning around 10:30am.

I was running late because I was feeding DD and didn't have time for any breakfast. Left to get the bus and grabbed a pack of Salt and Vinegar Squares from Sainsbury's and ate it at the bus stop once I had gotten off the bus.

Minding my business eating my Squares and some woman comes up to me saying 'you shouldn't be eating crisps at this time of the day' I told her I'm pregnant and I'll eat whatever I want when I want. She then said I was rude and unfit to be mum and went about her day!

AIBU in thinking she's actually the rude one coming up to me telling me off as if I'm her 5 year old child lol

Of course she's rude!
I (in my mid-forties) had a women at a bus stop telling me it's bad for my neck to look at my phone. She was >65, at first I thought she did not see me properly (I am short, maybe she thought I was a child at first?). But I don't think so, she honestly just told another adult off who was just minding her own business.

YANBU. Some people are just... strange.

Wth? Ha she's obviously crazy

How weird. I think I’d have wanted to follow her saying sorry sorry for eating crisps. What am I allowed to eat please? Is it ok if I have a croissant?

It would appear that you met my mother. 😁

@LittleDandelionClock I'd genuinely have been tempted to just flash a whole tit at her.

It is a weird breakfast but I wouldn’t have cared enough to say anything.

I wonder what the appropriate time of day is for eating crisps?

Silly cow.

I had salt and vinegar crisps at 9am today as they are the only thing that take away that horrible pregnancy taste in my mouth. Makes me feel so sick otherwise, but the crisps fix it.

She was rude, and it would have been rude even if you weren’t pregnant.

I agree with ignoring rude people. It is the reaction/argument they want. And then they always love nothing more that then pointing out you are rude. And you can just hear them later on retelling their version of the story about how rude someone was to them today....

Ehh? What is wrong with eating crisps on a morning?!

YANBU, what a strange woman.
I would have offered her a crisp and said she seems hangry.

I don’t know if you’re visibly pregnant but there’s something about it which attracts busybodies sticking their noses in. During my first pregnancy the only caffeine I had was one single can of Diet Coke a day, and my boss snarkily asked me ‘do unborn babies like aspartame then?’. Wanker.

She was being rude and unreasonable. You did nothing wrong.

If you see her again tell her sharply to mind her own business.

I didn’t realise there was a “eat between” label on a packet of crisps. Cheddars are my breakfast of choice - with a few olives.

I think you met my mil. Did she have white/blonde hair in a mushroom cut and a pointy witches nose?

I had some lady roundly and loudly tell me when I was heavily pregnant I shouldn't do some random thing - yes again, while on a bus. I'm afraid to say I had the hormonal rage and said with a death stare "who the fuck are you to try to tell ME what to do" and she scuttled off. She definitely didn't expect to get the same level of vitriol and volume back at her. Maybe it made her think twice before picking on her next "victim".

Who are these women who think pregnant women are public property to be scolded and chastised?

It's rude in a UK context (for her to approach a stranger and make that type of comment), but in many parts of the world it's quite normal. Sometimes an older person will think a younger person MIGHT (not necessarily will) benefit from their experience/might not know what to do. (And yes, the younger person can be 70 if the older person is 85!) The ethos seems to be that it's best for everyone to have the advice and then they can choose whether or not to use it. It's not expected that people will find the offer of advice offensive or intrusive, or that the advice-giver will be bothered if the advice isn't taken. I have a whole treasure trove of stuff people told me when I was living in Russia and Bulgaria - you would not believe the kinds of things that will make a woman infertile in Eastern Europe, just for example!

(The "you're a bad mother" nonsense is stupid and inappropriately personal by any standards, though.)

I usually just do a wide-eyed stare and say nothing, although "thanks for your input/help/concern" works too. Don't take it so seriously. And no need for misogyny either (not you, but some of the replies here - yeesh!!)

Pity the poor fecks she's related to. In a 30 second interaction you got chastised for your choice of brekkie, told you were rude and declared an unfit mother.

Imagine a lifetime of that!

I told her I'm pregnant and I'll eat whatever I want when I want.

I'm an adult and I'll eat whatever I want when I want.

You're not obliged to justify your diet to an interfering busybody. There was a thread here a while ago about men making unsolicited comments, posters offered a number of possible come backs, my favourite was, "thanks random man, I'll give you advice the consideration it deserves". Obviously the word woman works too. Although fuck off and MYOB would also be effective.

I didn't think that Katie Hopkins even used buses.

Nutter approached me in Australia on holiday to say I should have my kids takes off me because they were too thin (they were 4 and fine).

My friend is Chinese and in her own admission, a Tiger mum. Got two kids, both grade 8 in at least 2 instruments, straight A’s, county tennis players etc who after a long flight allowed her children aged 8 and 10 ish to play with iPads quietly at the dinner table in a restaurant and got told off by a random member of the public for allowing this.

I had a game set up at church fete with prizes I bought myself and small prizes for anyone who had a go (spent way more than I took, should have just donated the money), the little prize was a bouncy ball for the over 10’s and cuddly gonk type thing for under 10’s. Elderly lady came over with God’s own fury telling me how irresponsible I was having prizes of bouncy balls for small children and stalked off before I could reply. The balls weren’t even that small. I would have been happy to explain if she had given me the chance.