Read this sex scene from Giles Coren’s failed novel!!!

[KentishTowner]

In his latest column in The Times Vile Coren is asserting that there are no successful white male authors any more. Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that’s why your novel failed so spectacularly and you won The Bad Sex Award, Giles. Then read the actual, totally bizarre sex scene (the bit about the shower head!):

twitter.com/kirstysedgman/status/1454503687460638726?s=21

@VickyEadieofThigh, his BIL is David Mitchell

Just realised that, of course, he has both Alexander Armstrong and David Mitchell as BILs.

That reminds me; I need to add Polygrip to the shopping list.

His comments following the untimely death of Dawn Foster showed a man lacking any sense of decency.

@Vick

[quote KirstenBlest]@VickyEadieofThigh, his BIL is David Mitchell[/quote]
Yes, I immediately realised my error!

@VickyEadieofThigh, AA is Mrs GC's BIL

[quote treesarebeautiful]Some more gems from the Literary Review's 'Bad sex awards' here:
www.shortlist.com/news/bad-sex-awards-morrissey-giles-coren-stephen-king.[/quote]
Oh wow, these are a real treat. I particularly enjoyed 'her fanny looked like a tropical fish or a bit of old carpet.' Which was it???

He described his going on holidays with his 3y daughter as the sexiest holidays he's ever been to.
Sorry, that's just sick.

This is irrefutable proof.

Giles Coren has no dick

@generaljake

You should hear the latest episode of Coren's podcast which I had the misfortune of listening to last week (somebody else had it on)! He and his wife point out that the column was a joke (as was the sex scene) and then spend the next half an hour or so complaining that people don't find it / them funny. Honestly. It was really sad. But it gave a fabulous insight into how their conversations must go at home whenever he acts like a twat.

You’d think that if you had to explain a joke every time you made one, you’d eventually realise that humour is not your forte and just knock it on the head.

Where is the punctuation and sentence structure, etc? Apart from being awful, 🤮 it's hard to read as it is pretty much one long sentence.

@lentilsforever the piece about his daughter is linked to above. It's really disturbing.

@VickyEadieOfThigh they are both his BILs. David Mitchell is married to his sister, Victoria

[quote EmmaGrundyForPM]@lentilsforever the piece about his daughter is linked to above. It's really disturbing.

@VickyEadieOfThigh they are both his BILs. David Mitchell is married to his sister, Victoria[/quote]
Yes, I posted above that I realised as soon as I said that!

@VickyEadieofThigh, they are sort of BILs.

I know two brothers who married two sisters. They were sort of two BILs and two SILs too.

It is a joke scene to illustrate how awful the character is. Listen to last week's episode of his podcast with his wife and he talks about the history of the whole thing. And about how awful it is to be attacked by complete strangers on social media for someone he wrote 15 years ago.

If you don't like his stuff, don't read it and move on. He is light entertainment that you can take or leave - save your vitriol for people in actual positions of power and influence who do harm in the world.

@VickyEadieofThigh can you imagine big family gatherings where DM. and AA have to chat with GC? They must dread it.

[quote EmmaGrundyForPM]@VickyEadieofThigh can you imagine big family gatherings where DM. and AA have to chat with GC? They must dread it.[/quote]
Yes!

@Whatsnewpussyhat

If he was lying on his back and she got off his face and was trying to grab his penis, how the fuck could she simultaneously scratch his back with both hands? 🤔😂

This is what I wondered...

It's only a (crap) story

@SummerInSun What about when Giles mocked the death of Dawn Foster and caused her grieving mother additional pain? Does that count as doing harm to the world? He is in a position of power and influence as he has a massive platform and also bear in mind that Giles is employed by the BBC on that Amazing Hotels programme, which as license payers we are all funding.

oh that is HILARIOUS!

🤣🤣🤣 that’s crap.

I can’t stand Giles Coren , he is everything that is wrong with the Old Boys Club and nepotism.

[quote EmmaGrundyForPM]@VickyEadieofThigh can you imagine big family gatherings where DM. and AA have to chat with GC? They must dread it.[/quote]
Isn't Richard Ayoade in the family too? I think he's his other BiL? I could be getting confused though..