Read this sex scene from Giles Coren’s failed novel!!!

[KentishTowner]

In his latest column in The Times Vile Coren is asserting that there are no successful white male authors any more. Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that’s why your novel failed so spectacularly and you won The Bad Sex Award, Giles. Then read the actual, totally bizarre sex scene (the bit about the shower head!):

twitter.com/kirstysedgman/status/1454503687460638726?s=21

Do you?

[quote KentishTowner]@Trixiefirecracker you’re right, I am fixated on how bad the sex scenes from his failed novel are.

I think someone using a Mumsnet thread to tell someone to do something else other than post on Mumsnet is hilariously hypocritical![/quote]
Kentish - you name changed just to start this thread

I reckon you and he know each other and can’t stand each other in RL!

On no :( maybe I'm doing something wrong with DH? Reading that I've noticed my DH is different in that:

• He's never blacked out after cumming
• He's never came twice within a few seconds

Am I doing it wrong? My poor DH is missing out so much ...

It's not just your DH, same for me, never had a partner black out after finishing :)

It's so bad, I'd be interested to read the other sex scenes, for fun!

The shower head analogy ... wow! I've seen it shoot in all different places, but like a shower head in a bath ?? wtf

What the actual fuck did I just read, what on earth. Who ever thought that was a good sex scene!

@lentilsforever I don’t understand what you mean about name changing and you being taken in by fabrications involving sick children. Just like I never suggested GC was a paedophile as you previously accused me of having done, I haven’t mentioned any sick children. This is my first post, although I am a longtime lurker on MN.

I’m currently on maternity leave (baby is in rude health, thanks) so I do have a lot of time on my hands to fixate on this and I do think it is an interesting topic. I’ve never met GC, although we do have some mutual acquaintances and I have seen him around K Town as I live quite close to him and my godson goes to the same school as one of his children. I honestly just came here to critique his assertion that there are no successful male novelists and hilariously bad sex writing. Believe me, GC is a lot more interesting than I am!

[quote Trixiefirecracker]@KentishTowner I think you are somewhat fixated. Maybe try and go do something a bit more relaxing than endlessly searching for bad writing by Coren.[/quote]
Why should she? I'm enjoying it. Others are enjoying it. And according to @lentilsforever, Giles and his circle will be enjoying it.

It's great craic all round.

@TooBigForMyBoots Well, I aim to please.

Believe me, GC is a lot more interesting than I am

Unfortunately, I do.

This thread feels spiteful. If you don't like his writing, fine, just avoid it. But page after page of comments slagging him off feels too much. His family could see this. To be subject to this kind of pile- on must be very distressing.

No way are you a newbie OP! But ok then.

I'm sure he's fine with it @Bookridden. It's not like anyone here is lying about him or abusing his grieving family or anything.

What a weird thread... you don't like his stuff don't read it.

The Mark of Zorro? I'll see if DH can manage that. Or maybe a different symbol? I guess there is only so much, so there are a lot constraints.

@lentilsforever 100%

Super sleuths of MN unite!

@Bookridden #bekind Just like GC was to Dawn Foster when he mocked her death. Also we should all think of GC’s poor family who might read this thread and be upset. Just like GC thought of Dawn Foster’s poor mother when he gleefully mocked her death on Twitter. Sorry, but I can’t bear hypocrisy. There are always people, and sadly often women, who will rally around privileged, white men when they are criticised in order to maintain the status quo.

According to @lentilsforever, who went to public school with people like Giles, we’re all providing the Corens with something to laugh about around their kitchen table though.

I really disagree with people policing what is and isn’t acceptable subject matter on social media. If it doesn’t contravene MN rules then what is the problem? There are plenty of really long and very critical threads about people in the public eye e.g. Harry and Megan. If you don’t like this thread why don’t you move on to another one or do something else?

I don’t know why OP is getting the interrogation? This was started on twitter and has moved here for discussion. I think it’s a bit rich for those sock puppet PPs who are pulling her up for being over invested.

What a weird thread... you don't like his stuff don't read it.

You must be new to AIBU 😆

This guy brokenbottleboy on Twitter is really fixated on GC. He’s written a whole (very interesting and well argued imho) newsletter about this recent episode:

brokenbottleboy.substack.com/p/the-weeping-controversialists-support?justPublished=true

#lol at the image of Littlejohn comforting Coren.

@lentilsforever

My point about him and friends finding funny is that you would only think he’d be hurt or alarmed if you didn’t actually read his articles and understand the sense of humour of the people he will socialise with. I went to public school and this is exactly The type of thing they will be laughing about. A mumsnet thread.

Hi Giles and friends. I just want to say hi, and that while I'm sure you have guessed that my tale of how I enjoyed Giles writing was made up. The Satisfier Pro 2, however, is real and if you haven't already completed your Christmas shopping, you might even consider it for your wives or girlfriends. Maybe your mistresses? Because while they may be married, or otherwise involved, with a bunch of dicks, the SP2 will at least ensure they cum!

@trancepants You win the thread!!! 🏆 I was absolutely crying with laughter.

He seems to learn nothing from his failures and mistakes except new ways to be a victim. He really is a whiny wee fucker.

I found it very difficult to read with no punctuation.