To despise being called ‘cis’?

[Ostryga]

I’m not ‘cis’. I’m not ‘cisgendered’. I’m literally a woman. I’ve just read a guardian article that calls women seeking IVF cisgendered.

Why????

Even in the context of that article the prefix cis is unnecessary. The article states that the couple who feel discriminated against are a lesbian couple, you can't be lesbians if one of you owns a penis.

And in relation to the article, I am puzzling how UVF could be made fairer between LGBT/single women and heterosexual couple(biologically m/f.) If the ruling goes in favour of this lesbian couple then they get IVF straight away and heteros have to wait two years? How's THAT fair??

I think it would suit everyone to use woman more often than not. The only reason to specify cis or trans is if it is key information. Otherwise it will also offend trans women as they will still have a different label to non trans women.

Couldn't care less tbh.

Isn't there a whole section of the site for topics like this?

YANBU. I have the right to expect that other people respect MY identity, too - and I am NOT "cis" anything.

The noun to describe me is woman. I don't need a modifier or adjective.

Also, I know from extensive abuse online that cis is not shorthand for 'heterosexual AND gender that corresponds to birth sex" as that would be either heteronormative cisgender or cisgender heteronormative depending on which woke individual is harassing you at the time.

@ShirleyPhallus

Yes, I agree. I really fundamentally disagree being labelled as the opposite to a trans person. There is a word that means “not trans woman”. That word is “woman”.

Funny how everyone is asked to respect pronouns / TWAW but the same respect isn’t given to stopping using the word cis

Exactly.

See also - Karen (sympathies with all women with the name Karen out there).

@Tal45

There's woman and transwoman. Cis is not required.

This

I feel very angry when I hear this term too.

My existence is not based on what I am not.

I am not a subset of a class of people called trans women.

A trans woman is a trans woman not a woman. If a trans woman calls a woman a Cis women (meaning ‘as opposed to trans’) then they themselves are pointing out a difference anyway.

By their terminology a trans woman really is a non Cis man.

It is not my job to be ‘kind’ by accepting this offensive term which tells me I have a gender identity.

It's only a matter if time before Cis becomes offensive to the trans community.

My friend was recently in Boots complaining that they had none of the tampons she likes, when she was told by a transwoman that she should just be grateful she has a period at all and she should be careful what she says. The world has gone mad.

Yanbu

I haven’t had it used in rl thankfully but do hear it on the radio, I’d prefer it was not used

Despise it for all the very valid reasons listed above.

I literally just stop reading whatever the article is as soon as I see that word. No kidding I saw someone refer to themselves as a ‘cishet vulva owner’ not long ago, I thought it was a joke but it wasn’t …

@TheKeatingFive

Did you even read the article?

They did refer to them as heterosexual, but used the term cis as a way of further specifying the make up of the couple.

Ffs, yet more transphobic bullshit on Mumsnet. Must be a day with a y in.

All this ‘men in dresses’ and sneering at ‘people with wombs’ is fucking grim. Some ‘people with wombs’ don’t want to be called ‘women’, they identify as men, but have the wrong shaped bodies.

@Butchyrestingface

Article also refers to "people with wombs".

Gosh, if only the English language had come up with a name for that.

people with wombs 🤬🤬🤬 so women who had a hysterectomy are suddenly not women anymore? how disgusting

But the use in this article is to make it clear that they are talking about heterosexual couples encompassing a man & a woman that were born as such.

Nonsense. I am in a heterosexual couple. I am female. I am not cis.
As a non-gender-conforming female (who happens to not believe in gender, AKA "gender free"), I fall in fact firmly under what organisations such as Stonewall refer to as the "trans umbrella".

This makes zero difference to the kind of treatment I can expect from the NHS re: fertility issues, pregnancy, etc.
Because my sex is female, and my partner's is male. And he could just as well "identify as a woman", and that would (as long as his transition was non-medical - which isn't rare at all!) make zero difference to our situation, because what matters here is biology, not social norms or gender identity.

YADNBU. I'm female because I have a female body. I don't "identify with the gender I was assigned at birth" because a) wtf even is gender? and b) nobody assigned me one at birth or any other time. I don't identify with stereotypes about being female so there is literally no way I'm cis.

Women already have a label: women. Of course we are going to be pissed off if another group tries to take our word and calls us "cis" and "non men" "vagina havers" "uterus owners" "menstruators" or "bodies with vaginas." It's degrading and stupid.

but used the term cis as a way of further specifying the make up of the couple.

What further specification was needed with regards to a hetero couple having babies?

“thatonehasalittlecar

But the use in this article is to make it clear that they are talking about heterosexual couples encompassing a man & a woman that were born as such.

It’s a way of differentiating between the gay / single women named in the law suit, and the people who they say get a better deal from the CCG (the hetero ‘cis’ couple).

There’s a good reason for the use of the term cis in this case, so yeah, YABU.“

A heterosexual couple is by definition a biological man and a biological woman.

A lesbian couple means two biological women together.

There is no reason at all for ‘cis’.

And what fresh HELL is 'chest feeding?' Are people who say this the same ones who say 'people with uteruses' and people who menstruate? Urgh! This is all pissing me off so much1

I’d guess that, as cis is the antonym of trans, ‘cis woman’ and ‘trans woman’ instead of ‘woman’ and ‘trans woman’ somehow seems fairer? Or less othering of the trans woman?

Why is it always women and we are not hearing this debate about cis man trans man? why are we not hearing cis man?

@Greenmarmalade

* uhohspaghettiohh

Someone asked me why I was still 'chest feeding' I wiped the floor with them! Said I was 'BREASTFEEDING' and my daughter has only just turned one!
*

In real life or online? So they’re woke enough to use the new (ridiculous) buzzwords, but don’t know how daft and offensive that question is?

Answer: “she’s still hungry.”

In real life. I was feeding in a quiet corner of the library. Daughter had just finished her first full day in nursery and needed feeding so I nipped to the local library. It was a woman around the same age as me (mid 30s). It's incredibly insulting. Daughter was very quietly feeding, didn't even disturb anyone. I mentioned it to the librarian and she asked her to leave.

So, I went to some training by a charity that support the LBQT+ community. It really opened my eyes to how hard it is to have people make massive assumptions about you without checking (e.g. calling you ‘he’ when you identify as a woman, assuming you are heterosexual when you are not). It’s very alienating and ‘othering’.

I work with the public and want to be as inclusive as possible and make everyone feel comfortable. I want to be really mindful of this.

As someone who has been identified as a woman all my life and am obviously a woman, and as a heterosexual, I’ve never experienced anyone making wrong assumptions about me in that respect. I don’t want to be blind to the fact that this means that life has been easier for me in that respect.

thatonehasalittlecar
Thank you. That explanation of making things more equal - ‘trans-woman and ‘cis-woman’ helps me to understand. I still don’t like the idea of being called a cis-woman though. It is a gut reaction. That then makes me wonder if I’m holding on to the power (a bit like men do when challenged on misogyny or racists do when challenged eg All lives matter). This has given me lots of food for thought.

I think it’s really helpful to challenge ourselves in this way and think about these issues. It’s something I will continue to ponder on.

Some ‘people with wombs’ don’t want to be called ‘women’, they identify as men, but have the wrong shaped bodies

Transmen then. Do they have a problem being referred to as “transmen”?

Alison Moyet was attacked on Twitter for daring to say she objected to being referred to as Cis. I think of her often when I hear ‘cis’.

I am not Cis, I am a woman.

It's all very sneaky. By labelling women as cis it makes us a sub-group of women, which means than transwomen can also be a sub-group of women, whereas in my opinion they are a sub-group of men.

I don't consider myself to have a gender and I object to being redefined by men who wish to live as women. It's yet again a case of women being who men say they are.