If you're off with sick, is it crass to flood SM with pictures of what you're up to?

[MakeMineALarge1]

Just that really.

I work in a place that currently has a high incidents of stress and we have up to 20 people off with work related stress.

Now I get going for walks, out for lunch etc, can be great for you, but is it crass to put pictures on of all your weekends away, decorating your house and nights out?

I would simply suggest that if someone you work with's personal posts on SM of them doing entirely normal things are upsetting you, you should probably go back to minding your own business.

The kind of judgements I see on this thread are exactly why we still have a huge, largely hidden level of discrimination against people with mental health issues.

Remember, if a colleague is off sick and that is impacting your workload, the people responsible for that are your management. They decide who does what and are generally paid more to do so. If you have any issues you should direct it towards them.

Writing nasty comments on social media posts and gossipping about colleagues while they are off work is highly unprofessional and may indeed be against some workplace policies.

If you're well enough for 'big nights out until 3am' you are well enough to work.

If you're going to comment on a post about mental health it would be helpful to have at least a basic grasp of mental health issues and the difficulties faced by those experiencing them.

@JaniieJones

It is absolutely tone deaf, yes do whatever activities help you through your illness but don't put it all on sm when your poor colleagues are probably over worked and stressed.

That.

Post pictures of your nice walk, your family etc, if you love SM. But if you're having a great holiday or going clubbing, for goodness sake have a bit of tact and empathy for the people who are picking up your shit, and possibly on the brink themselves.

My husband had a long period of time off work after a breakdown. It was important that he got out of the house and we tried to maintain a semblance of normality and do pleasurable stuff where he could manage it - for him, for me and for our children's sake. But we got on with it quietly and without fanfare, because it was about his recovery, not social media. And we were hugely grateful to his colleagues for their support.

@RachelHasThoseInBurgundy

Tbh I think it’s actually better for people to post on SM when they are doing things like this while signed off with stress. It normalises the idea that you really don’t have to sit in a darkened room until you return to work. It will be helping other people who are off sick feel able to do things without fear that they are doing something wrong. We need to normalise mental illness and be open about. People pay lip service to that idea but, as seen on this thread, when it comes to it they are a) disbelieving of people who are struggling with their MH, accuse them (behind their backs of course) of being work shy and making it up and having ‘miraculous’ recoveries; and b) don’t actually care about their colleague feeling better, (which is why they don’t want to see the colleague happy on SM) they just want them back at work to lighten the load.

I agree wholehearedly with this.

A lot of people who sit in a dark room when off sick and brag about it, harp on about being stressed too and having to pick up "the slack" and take extra shifts and EVEN those who are all "i've never had a sick day in my life" seem to think all of this is some kind of achievement they should be rewarded for.

You are really lucky if you never have a day off or are never stressed enough to need time off and medical help for it. It's not impressive and it makes people think you are a bit of a braggy knob, actually.

I suppose it depends why you’re off sick. If you’re off with a diarrhoea/ vomiting bug and are then posting photos of yourself out for a big restaurant meal and drinks I can see your point.

However if you’re off due to mental health issues I can see why some might be posting on social media. I live alone and have been signed off from work with anxiety and depression before and it was very lonely, work is where I get a lot of social interaction and so I did try to meet up with friends and do productive things like sort the house whilst I was off as otherwise the days felt very long and empty and my depression was worse. I don’t really use social media so didn’t post anything but I can see how someone who is feeling low and anxious might want to post on social media as it’s a way of reaching out to people and getting responses which can help lift your up when you feel low and lonely and when your life feels shit and pathetic I can also see why you might try to overcompensate by making yourself look fun and busy on social media, even if in reality you are feeling low and not having much fun.

@saraclara if people are on the brink themselves they are absolutely capable, as fully grown adults, of saying no.

If you don't want to see people having fun on SM then simply unfollow them.

@Eleganz

I would simply suggest that if someone you work with's personal posts on SM of them doing entirely normal things are upsetting you, you should probably go back to minding your own business.

The kind of judgements I see on this thread are exactly why we still have a huge, largely hidden level of discrimination against people with mental health issues.

Remember, if a colleague is off sick and that is impacting your workload, the people responsible for that are your management. They decide who does what and are generally paid more to do so. If you have any issues you should direct it towards them.

Writing nasty comments on social media posts and gossipping about colleagues while they are off work is highly unprofessional and may indeed be against some workplace policies.

It's pure bullying and harassment to gossip and bitch about people who are off work sick regardless of the reason and regardless of how they chose to make themselves feel better during that time off.

It's not the 90's anymore where if you were sick you had to stay in bed and drink fucking soup and stare at the ceiling. Like that ever bloody helped.

I felt the need to hide away at home while I was off work for MH issues. I hated it and it made my recovery much harder. Now if a colleague was off with stress I would want to see them getting out and getting well.

@Eleganz

I would simply suggest that if someone you work with's personal posts on SM of them doing entirely normal things are upsetting you, you should probably go back to minding your own business.

The kind of judgements I see on this thread are exactly why we still have a huge, largely hidden level of discrimination against people with mental health issues.

Remember, if a colleague is off sick and that is impacting your workload, the people responsible for that are your management. They decide who does what and are generally paid more to do so. If you have any issues you should direct it towards them.

Writing nasty comments on social media posts and gossipping about colleagues while they are off work is highly unprofessional and may indeed be against some workplace policies.

Absolutely this.

it is absolutely not the fault of the unwell employee of their colleagues are having to pick up the slack whilst they are off. It is the fault of management who should have contingency plans for when people aren’t able to carry out their roles, for example hiring temp workers to cover, putting aspects of the work on hold or redistributing more fairly between employees. If that isn’t happening it is the fault of management and not the fault of the unwell employee, regardless of how much they are or are not able to enjoy their time away from work.

@SmellyLikeABlewBooHoo I absolutely get this advice comes from a good place, but all you need is one sneaky fucker to bypass it by going directly to your facebook page then go crying to management about how you have posted such and such and are clearly hiding it as no one from the company can see it. Going by the comments on this thread there are plenty of sneaky fuckers here that would take glee in doing it too,

I have seen exactly this unfold in my organisation and the little twat got told to do one, thankfully, but that was after telling literally every colleague and having a good bitching session about it. Not all employers would have the balls to tell the snitch to fuck off though and would choose to interfere instead.

I don’t understand long term stress. Surely if the job is causing you so much stress that you can’t even think about working there for 6 months than surely you resign and find another job that won’t cause the same stress!

@SirenSays

I felt the need to hide away at home while I was off work for MH issues. I hated it and it made my recovery much harder. Now if a colleague was off with stress I would want to see them getting out and getting well.

Exactly. I used to do the same and all it made me do was hate work more, not want to go back and extended the time I spent off until I was actually forced to go back and not at all ready to.

@Ghoulette

Also, to those picking up the slack and doing extra shifts, you are absolutely not obligated to play martyr and do these things to the detriment of your own health. That includes volunteering for more work on your desk too and if your employer kicks up a stink about it then there is always HR.

Get your employer to pull their finger out and find cover if it is so desperately needed!

And how on earth are they supposed to pay for cover when they are still paying the person off sick full pay? My employer is actually pretty fantastic, hence the full sick pay for a minimum of 6 months, but there is only so much wiggle room in the budget.

Surely, if you're signed off with stress, then seeing friends, having a social life and having a holiday would help with this?

What are they supposed to do? Sit in a dark room on their own for a few months? You sound very unsympathetic and quite envious to be honest.

Where people go wrong is being public about their activities. That's why when people are claiming benefits, holidaying whilst off sick or whatever they'd do well not to tell anyone. Someone a person considers a friend will be the first to report them.

@BrieAndChilli

I don’t understand long term stress. Surely if the job is causing you so much stress that you can’t even think about working there for 6 months than surely you resign and find another job that won’t cause the same stress!

It's not as simple as that. At all. Not all stress is work related but working doesn't help it.

I had an incredibly stressful situation going on in my home life recently which made me utterly incapable of focussing on work. I was making mistakes and not finishing tasks because my mind was elsewhere. My job wasn't stressful but it was definitely impacted by external stress, which then made it stressful to be at work fucking up every 5 minutes and made me not want to be at work.

I took three weeks off and actually did some stuff I enjoyed, including a trip to Edinburgh to see family (which was planned way before the stressful event occurred). It enabled me to escape from the situation and also gave me time to resolve it.

So it's not as black and white when it comes to being off work with stress as you seem to think it is.

@VladmirsPoutine

Where people go wrong is being public about their activities. That's why when people are claiming benefits, holidaying whilst off sick or whatever they'd do well not to tell anyone. Someone a person considers a friend will be the first to report them.

..... so if you claim benefits you aren't allowed to have fun and definitely shouldn't post about it on SM?

That's one I've not heard before. Fascinating!

@LuaDipa then that's down to your manager to manage not you, the employee who isn't paid to manage these situations.

[quote Ghoulette]@LuaDipa then that's down to your manager to manage not you, the employee who isn't paid to manage these situations.[/quote]
Sickness is a thing that happens and always has, even back in the archaic boomer days of "no one takes time off sick".

You should ask your manager why their continuity plan involves "shit on the staff who can still work" instead of having an actual, solid contingency in place that doesn't fuck everyone else over. Not blame the person off sick for the increased workload.

I think it's taking the major piss quite honestly. i have a colleague who is off sick every other month and her facebook page shows her hiking, on the beach and God knows what.
If she wants to do those things I think she should have the common decency not to put it on facebook.

@BrieAndChilli

I don’t understand long term stress. Surely if the job is causing you so much stress that you can’t even think about working there for 6 months than surely you resign and find another job that won’t cause the same stress!

Yes because it so easy to find another job when you are so stressed that you can't concentrate or focus or sit still, are constantly tired, unable to sleep, upset stomach, heart palpitations, panic attacks etc. etc....

Before I was recently off, I worked for 38 years with about 20 days off in total in all those years. I had two lots of mat leave but that was 4.5 months and then 5.5 months.

I hadn't been coping properly for months before I went off and that day I just couldn't take it anymore. Anyway, I'm back and changes have been made at work, not just for me but for all staff, me being off actually highlighted a lot and work have taken it on board. I'm using holidays now to shorten my working week and I have reduced responsibilities for the moment. I honestly don't know if I can continue to do my current job but work want to keep me, I might end up having to resign and find something else but hopefully that will be a last resort and I will have worked out what I am actually capable of foing by then and will be in a better place mentally to be looking.

@Ghoulette If you can't understand my post why not just ask me to explain it rather than make a sarcastic comment based on your lack of comprehension? My post was in reference to all the threads where an OP wants to report someone they know for claiming some sort of benefit that the poster doesn't believe said person is entitled to. Try asking next time so you don't fall victim to your lack of critical thinking ability.

[quote Ghoulette]@LuaDipa then that's down to your manager to manage not you, the employee who isn't paid to manage these situations.[/quote]
I am the manager of my dept, and the one who picks up the slack if my team can’t work. I don’t begrudge people being ill for any reason, I know it can’t be helped. And I completely agree with our sickness policy, although it has been queried by other managers who feel that it encourages absence as there is no financial consequence to being off sick. But I do think it is insensitive to share holidays etc on social media when you are unable to work. That doesn’t mean I think people should be cooped up at home, I just don’t see the need to share it. But I don’t like social media much anyway as it goes.

(N/C for this)

I'm currently off work sick due to poor mental health. I have a fairly significant mental illness and haven't had sick time for 5 years so I have no guilt or shame around being off, athough to be fair I've barely left the house so SM posts like the ones mentioned in the OP aren't relevant to me per se.

However, I've just stayed away from social media for this very reason - I work for a decent organisation but the last thing I need just now is the possibility of being dragged into a potential conversation about being fit for X or Y but not work.

I'm curious as what you expect people signed off with stress to do OP. Maybe a selfie in a straight jacket?

When most people are suffering with work related stress it is the lack of normal every day things (such as nights out, having fun) that are major triggering factors. That's why it's called blowing off steam.