If you're off with sick, is it crass to flood SM with pictures of what you're up to?

[MakeMineALarge1]

Just that really.

I work in a place that currently has a high incidents of stress and we have up to 20 people off with work related stress.

Now I get going for walks, out for lunch etc, can be great for you, but is it crass to put pictures on of all your weekends away, decorating your house and nights out?

Georgeskitchen
It's really frustrating having additional work when someone is off sick, but that's a management issue.
Unless someone's sick note says something that's incompatible with socialising, it's a foolish employer who would try to argue that seeing friends/family is grounds to refuse sick pay.

Someone I knew was off after losing both parents. Work would have been stupid to refuse sick pay because someone saw colleague in a cafe with a friend.

If managers have reason to believe that the employee is behaving fraudulently (eg off with a back injury but seen doing a HIIT class or posting about weekends out drinking) then they can take appropriate steps.

Hi op, being off sick with genuine work related stress is not fun. Personally I would chose to dig my allotment, exercise, meet up with fam and friends and make things. I would not share on social media anything I was doing to get myself better, or to feel less stressed, if they look like someone having a jolly, as I know how galling this can be for those left covering for my sickness and no doubt stressed themselves. It’s called tact.
And crucially I do not think I need to be seen as my ‘best self’ on social media. It’s incredibly toxic to have to pretend to be ok, when you are really not.

And crucially I do not think I need to be seen as my ‘best self’ on social media. It’s incredibly toxic to have to pretend to be ok, when you are really not.

Totally! I'm not sure why some pp are say they need to do it as if it's actually healthy. Can't be helping anyone's MH to be pretending on SM. Best to stay away from it completely if 'fake it till you make it' is all you've got. I think it's totally unwise to add the pressure of appearing a certain way to your recovery.

If they have been signed off by a doctor then surely it’s fine. Stress/mental health issues are something you can’t see in a photo even if it gets shared to social media.

Maybe if they were doing something high pressure like rock climbing or skydiving.

You can’t expect them to spend their time off curled up in a ball and ever manage to return to work. Letting them rest and recuperate makes more sense.

It's certainly not very sensible.

Reminds me of the British guy that made international news a couple of years ago when he saved someone from a shark attack in Aus.. and then promptly got fired from his job in the UK as he'd been signed off for stress !

Yes. I was fired once for tweeting while I was off sick.
I mean, they used it as the reason but the boss didn't like me 🤷‍♀️

There's nothing technically wrong about 'therapeutic' activity - but the line might be the manager in a charity where I used to be on the board.

Sick every December, all of December - but not too sick to go on tour with his band.

Wedding season was a bit of a kicker too, but not quite as bad because most weddings are weekends while Christmas parties happen every day of the week.

We had an employee who had been very unreliable and after 6 months gets himself off sick and the company was looking at funding 6 months sick pay. He then posts on our fb page about his dj ing work taking off. He had to repay the SSP.

@Aburg163

I'm not sure. Previously I'd have thought it was a bit silly but I'm off with stress myself at the moment and spend a lot of time on social media. It's boring at home and tbh I'm ashamed of being off but I am also really unwell. I think for a lot of people, going off with stress can make you feel like you've finally given up on yourself and social media can be a bit like an alter ego that keeps fighting. I know my biggest worries were what people would think of me for being off and people deal with these feelings in a funny way, even if it is posting pictures of lunch on social media to convince everyone they're not completely broken. That's how I think of it anyway, I had a really good attendance record before this and never thought I'd be off with stress in my career. It feels awful so I can understand people wanting to keep a bit of themselves documented as fun and happy.

This is touching OP and made me think about how easy it is to be judgmental.

Could not care less what people get up to when off on sick leave. Do object to them posting it on social media & 'making a toast' on their flight abroad. I know many many people on here say they have no issue with it & perhaps you are all better people than I am, however it did not go down well when the rest of us have been working all summer, struggle to get annual leave due to all of our long term sick colleagues and when they do eventually come back after a fully paid phased return they have the whole 6months of annual leave to use up - but they don't really need it as they've just been abroad for 2 weeks I don't understand why you would want to post things like that on social media knowing all your colleagues are still working. Now to add insult to injury none of us can get time off over xmas as none of our colleagues can come back before January. So yes I am bitter & I don't agree with it at all.

Fudgein Well said!

Tell HR. They can't be that sick

Tell HR. They can't be that sick

Unless you have access to their medical notes that's not your place to say and I would hope HR would tell you the same there is a reason actual doctors are the ones to write the fit notes.

Suffering with poor mental health at work doesn't mean the rest of your life has to stop. If you are jealous of someone else suffering a mental illness you need to have a good, long, hard look at yourself.

This is a complicated one. I have been off sick a few times with anxiety, I have BPD and have a diagnosis so work has this on record. That said I am usually so bad I can only manage to go to the local shop and GP at best. Even if I went for a wall, I wouldn't be putting it on SM.
I know others that live through SM and so add everything on there. I do think people should be more s
Discrete because an employer could use this as a reason to start disciplinary procedures if the person was for example saying they felt overloaded at work but then were posting about the massive DIY projects they had completed whilst off work.

I also think people should be mindful of the impact these posts would have on people picking up the slack at work. It is unfair to support others and then have their amazing times rubbed in your face.

I just focus on my own career tbh. I don't think about the colleagues on LTS. I do think people who take the piss should be ashamed though. They are the reason people who really are sick get treated with scepticism.

I think it can vary depending on the role. At one time the roles I did were incredibly emotionally intensive. It was practically a given that at some point people would have time off after burnout. The nature of the role lent itself to it. Very often before burnout people were working solidly , emotionally giving everything they had and just living to function at work. The senior team would do everything in their power to help but the nature of the role led to emotional and psychological behaviours that would lead to burnout. Almost across the board.

So to be honest it was a good sign when people started to post positive things. For the initial period of sickness they would almost recover in a darkened room. Then if they started going out and experiencing life it was a sign they were looking after themselves and there was no judgement at all. It was so common 8t was just an understanding that its what people needed to do, they almost started to remember they were a person. It was effectively part of the process for people to be able to do the role long term even with counselling and support whilst in work. The nature of what we heard daily was brutal and it took its toll.

In the role I am in now, the same burnout doesn't exist in the same way. We are all WFH and always have been before Covid. Whilst there is stress its not the kind to legitimately drop you to break down levels without other things happening at home etc. So yes it would be inappropriate to post having a great time on sick leave.

Depends on the role and the person. You don't know what has happened behind closed doors. I am aware of a colleague who lost a lot of family members in Covid and I would love to see them enjoying any part of life while off purely because they have been through so bloody much.

There is a lot of ignorant nonsense from lucky people on this thread.

@RachelHasThoseInBurgundy

It's different posting pictures of activities that help you manage stress / improve mental health, compared to a whole load of big nights out, endless cocktails and dancing til 3 in the morning.

So having a night out, drinking and dancing don’t relieve stress?

Why would you post it on social media when you're signed off sick?

Why wouldn’t you, if you usually post things on social media?

Having been off with stress which meant that to start with I felt such a failure I didn’t want to go anywhere or see anyone or do anything I’m in total agreement with those who say doing things to get over those side effects is what makes you feel better.
I think it’s stupid posting too much about your life on SM anyway, but posting all the things you’re doing -going on holiday, night clubs etc. because you’ve got some time off work will make it questionable about how sick you really are, especially to the people who are holding the fort during your absence. It’s not strange or unkind or unfeeling that people will think like that.

If you’re desperate to post you could limit the recipients, but in these days of cut and paste, word will get around.

Everything runs people's faces in it on social media yes but in my own opinion I dont want to see it when colleagues are off sick baking cakes etc. Just live lives off social media

It's really tricky....they're not doing anything wrong and I understand why people do it but it can be very insensitive towards colleagues who are picking up the slack and might be struggling themselves.

I've just returned to work from Maternity and am finding it so hard, leaving my 2 young children, not getting any sleep, having no time to myself at all. Two close friends are off sick (totally genuine) and although I honestly feel they deserve to be out and about having a lovely time, it does smart a bit although I'd never say that outside of an anonymous forum. But when they post photos, and are spending each day going to the gym, nice lunches out, visiting bars, shopping days etc I feel envious of their time but obviously wouldn't swap it as wouldn't want to be struggling with MH problems myself (teetering on the edge as it is!)

On the subject of holidays whilst off sick, remember that it is possible to take annual leave whilst you're on long term sick leave. That's what I did.
I spent a week in the sun about 6 months after a serious accident. My surgical team and psychologist all advised me that it would be therapeutic so I spoke to HR, got the ok, and they took a week out of my AL allowance and paid me full pay for the week. I'm not sure it was terribly therapeutic actually - the hassle of getting crutches, controlled drugs etc through the airport and the general stress and tiredness caused by travelling certainly undid some of the benefits and I couldn't actually do much when I got there. It was one of those things that seemed like a great idea and I was very excited to do, but reality didn't quite live up to expectations. However, it was completely above board and done with my employer's full knowledge. I didn't feel the need to share all those details with everyone who vaguely knows me though so I expect a few colleagues were bitching about me having fun in the sun. Some of the people described on this thread could be just the same, you just cant know.